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I'm a straight girl who has feelings for a gay man watch

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    I met this guy on my uni course and we get on really well, we go to the same society so we do see quite a lot of each other during the week. We have the same taste in music, same humour same interests etc. Recently I even started developing feelings for him. When we were having a general conversation he told me he was gay, which I was slightly put off and relieved because I already am in a relationship which is long distance because we go to seperate unis. After the xmas holidays me and this gay guy's friendship became even closer, and now I'm starting to get feelings for him again, I can't stop thinking about him which is soo annoying and even embarrassing because I know his sexuality and I'm still feeling like this. What confuses me also, is that he's very affectionate with me, he puts his arm around me a lot and holds my hand and he rarely does this with other girls. One of my friends even thought he liked me despite he is a homosexual... He's even texting me constantly even at 2am, plus saying jokey comments like "why do you have to be a girl!?"... I think I like this guy not just because of his personality, but he physically reminds me of my current boyfriend whom I have felt really down about in my first term because of the distance... But now it's affecting me so much because I'm obviously starting to like someone else.... I'm soo confused please help! x
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    I don't know much about gay males but maybe because he's gay, he doesn't take anything he does like 'putting his arm around you' or 'holding your hand' seriously?
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    Get a sex change. :top:

    I agree with what mel0n says tho.
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    He's probably affectionate with you because being gay he feels like he can do that without people thinking anything of it.
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    I don't see what your question is. He's gay - 99% chance he won't like you that way. You've been rejected. Move on.
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    I've found that gay men (not all, but some) can be quite touchy-feely with some girls, the same way girls can be touchy-feely with each other in a platonic way. It's easy to be that way when there aren't sexual feelings involved. And if he's seldom like this with other girls, I think you can be reassured this just means he feels close to you as a friend.

    I'm sorry you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, though. It's tough to have feelings that can't go anywhere, regardless of the situation. You need to be content with things as they are and not let your own fantasies have you think this could go somewhere it's not going to. Your friendship sounds firm!
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    You must be desperate if you fancy a Gay Man and there must be something wrong with you. I am NOT a Gay Man whether you will accuse me of this or not!!!
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    What everyone else has said basically (minus ppj9). There was a guy like that in our friends group, used to love grabbing our friends' tits (tbf they were an enviable pair).
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    Yep, exactly what the two girls above said about some gay men being more touchy feely. I used to work in a bar and gay men would flirt and try and kiss me all the time. It is extremely confusing, but if your friend is telling you he is gay, don't try and push things. All kinds of people do wierd things but all you can do is take them for who and what they say they are. You sound like you have a really special friend in him!
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    Well..
    first of all its so much better having a gay friend than having a huge uber crush on him..
    its not like he really feels the same way which is the fact of the matter. end of the line
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I met this guy on my uni course and we get on really well, we go to the same society so we do see quite a lot of each other during the week. We have the same taste in music, same humour same interests etc. Recently I even started developing feelings for him. When we were having a general conversation he told me he was gay, which I was slightly put off and relieved because I already am in a relationship which is long distance because we go to seperate unis. After the xmas holidays me and this gay guy's friendship became even closer, and now I'm starting to get feelings for him again, I can't stop thinking about him which is soo annoying and even embarrassing because I know his sexuality and I'm still feeling like this. What confuses me also, is that he's very affectionate with me, he puts his arm around me a lot and holds my hand and he rarely does this with other girls. One of my friends even thought he liked me despite he is a homosexual... He's even texting me constantly even at 2am, plus saying jokey comments like "why do you have to be a girl!?"... I think I like this guy not just because of his personality, but he physically reminds me of my current boyfriend whom I have felt really down about in my first term because of the distance... But now it's affecting me so much because I'm obviously starting to like someone else.... I'm soo confused please help! x
    WHat if he was lying about his sexuality.. Id find that funny the creep... but seeing as hes prbably not ermmm get face to face with him seee what happens there.
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    He's gay, unlucky. Try not to ruin your current relationship / make yourself look a fool / waste your time by falling for him. It really won't be worth it. Perhaps meeting with your bf will remind you of what you could ruin?
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    It's tough, but to be quite honest, unless you can realistically supress those feelings permanently, it will only be harmful for your relationship and for you. It's hard being in a long distance relationship, I know, I've been there a couple times. It really sucks sometimes.
    The other option is to ask yourself if it's possible that he isnt 100% gay and likes you back in some way. Perhaps dropping a hint or something, like (similar to his 'why cant you be a guy' comment) why can't you be straight, even if just a little bit? would give you a better idea of an answer to that.
    Otherwise, I think it would be a good idea if you talked seriously to him and said that even though you know he's gay, you feel as though you are developing feelings for him that just won't go away. That you love spending time with him but that you have to have some space or you'll be driven insane.
    It's probably best to really try to put some space between you two if neither of the above options are realistic.
    Good luck
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    (Original post by ormaybeitsjustnarcissism)
    What everyone else has said basically (minus ppj9). There was a guy like that in our friends group, used to love grabbing our friends' tits (tbf they were an enviable pair).
    I could so pretend to be gay for this reason
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    (Original post by TShadow383)
    I could so pretend to be gay for this reason
    You'd have to put the groundwork in though, and I'm not sure it would be worth it :p:
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    This perfectly demonstrates why homosexuality is a disorder of the mind - the reason he is flirting with you is because there is conflict within him between his true nature, his true sexuality (-being the duality of opposites - the man and the woman which creates life) against the artificial sexual state caused by psychological damage. Plenty of evidence of 'homosexuals' in this thread flirting with women - they are confused - alas it is what nature intended anyway for men to flirt with women!
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    Kind of like me in a way.
    I'm bisexual and have feelings for my female straight best friend.

    Basically it's not going to happen & you have to accept that as hard as it is.
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    (Original post by God of War)
    This perfectly demonstrates why homosexuality is a disorder of the mind - the reason he is flirting with you is because there is conflict within him between his true nature, his true sexuality (-being the duality of opposites - the man and the woman which creates life) against the artificial sexual state caused by psychological damage. Plenty of evidence of 'homosexuals' in this thread flirting with women - they are confused - alas it is what nature intended anyway for men to flirt with women!
    Not just banter then!? Grow up matey. :p:
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    I would like to take my comment back, you are not desperate!!! But I don't understand why you have feelings for a GAY Man!!! It won't lead to anywhere, and I am not GAY by the way!!! But my comment above was a bit nasty. I was upset and it came out wrong......
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    Been there, done that. Maybe ask him not to put his arm around you so much, since you like it in the wrong way and don't want to fall for him? He might be understanding like that, tho dunno.
    ETA: well, the second half, not done the 'straight girl' bit.
 
 
 
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