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Should I tell him when I technically haven't done anything wrong..? watch


    Although I totally agree with people in that what happens after a relationship is no business of anyone's, the fact is you broke up with him, you slept with another guy and now you want to get back together. Sure, he's the one who messed up the first time around, but you ended it and did worse than that by sleeping with someone else.

    I would still tell him, because it's a big burden to carry and I know I couldn't deal with it... I don't judge you because I could very well see myself doing the same thing to be honest.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I posted a while ago asking for advice after finding out that my long term boyfriend kissed another girl in a club when he was drunk. It was a one off mistake totally out of character and he was gutted it happened and begged for forgiveness. It was about 50/50 some said everyone deserves a second chance and that if he is truely sorry and will never do it again I should forgive him this once, others said they would dump him straight up and that would be it.

    So being so hurt I ended it. I put that I was single on facebook, told him that was it and tried to move on chatting to him the odd time in text message but nothing nice or sentimental.

    I then went out last night got completely trashed and slept with some random guy. I now feel totally ****. I am not that type of girl at all, I was just so upset and angry and I thought it might help me get over him. Needless to say it did not. It made me want to be with him more. And I know what people will say, if I cared about him that much I wouldn't sleep with someone else so soon after breaking up with him but that's just not true. I love him so much but I just felt too hurt to be with him and was trying to move on. I now want to give things ago. I don't want anyone else. I know he made a stupid mistake but I think with enough work and effort particularly on his part we can make it work.

    Should I tell him about what has happened and do you think he will still want to be with me so much. It's not like I cheated on him I would never do that. He has asked me in text message today (I havent seen him since we ended) if anything happened last night when I was out and I just said no or ignored it as I haven't decided what to do. What would you do? I have made my mind up I want to be with him but I don't know what he will say when he hears what happened.
    It happened outside the relationship and I can't see that it would have direct effect on you as a couple if you got back together, therefore I don't think he needs to know.
    However, if you've told anyone else, no matter how much you trust them, there's a chance it'll get back to him. He already sounds a touch suspicious...

    Why dont girls get why guys ask this question. If you ****** someone so quickly after ending it with him the guy is going to immediatley think you didn't give a **** about him in the first place. Whether this is true or not is irrellevant.

    Editing this for clarity:

    OP he cheated on you, bad times, he shouldnt have. But YOU dumped him, then YOU slept with someone else, now YOU want to get back together.

    Your boyfriend will think your feelings for him havent changed as you want to get back together, but then he will find out you slept with someone else and will think you got back together based on a lie. Live and learn and move on. You should have tried to make it up in the first place, I think you should walk away. He made a drunken mistake and kissed someone, you made a drunken mistake and slept with someone.

    If you're planning on trying to get back together then you have no other option but to tell him, I mean seriously, do you think he won't find out? Even if nobody tells him you obviously feel really guilty about it, I doubt you'll be able to hide that in your behaviour, if he has any skills of observation at all he'll figure out that somethings up and it will make him paranoid as hell.

    If you want a new start with him it will need to be with a clean slate and you can't manage that without telling him what you did.
    Whether you two SHOULD be getting back together is another matter entirely but it's also none of my business.
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