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    I'm having trouble even acknowledging the concept of emotional pain. Allow me to elaborate.

    My parents (Indian immigrants) have, for the most part, acted as a guide in the academic and professional sense. They instilled in me the work ethic that allowed me to excel in high school and ultimately graduate from a prestigious university in Los Angeles. Even now, when I'm 22, they offer me job advice. But that's where it ends. They never really guided my emotional growth or my social development. I don't blame them at all. When they were growing up in India in the 60's and 70's, they didn't have time to fret over feelings. They were too busy studying and helping their parents. Nevertheless, my upbringing has led me to view emotions and relationships as abstract, fuzzy concepts that aren't worth worrying over. After all, it's not like sorrow and loneliness can physically harm you, right? They're not like real diseases like diabetes and HIV, right? If one has is employed and in good health, then what else is there to worry about?


    I've tried for so long to just ignore my feelings in the hopes that they'll go away. I try immersing myself in music, movies, television, or video games. I try to convince myself that what I'm feeling is just the end result of some neurotransmitters acting funny in my head, and that these reactions can't actually hurt me the way, say, cardiac arrest can. I've grown to believe that acting on and worrying about emotion is a sign of irrationality and weakness, as is the need for relationships. I've become like Spock or Dr. House – cold, calculating, purely logical. Even as I type this my subconscious seems to be saying to me, “You pathetic worm, you're being a slave to your own eccentricities."

    I suppose that, even though I'm glad to be finally seeking out help, despite any hesitation I may have, I feel somewhat disappointed in myself. I wish I could detach myself from my feelings and from others. I wish I could be like Spock. I wish I could live up to the ideal I've set for myself. But my feelings have gotten so strong that they're now interfering with my work, and I can't allow that.

    I need to be convinced that it's a good idea for me to talk about my emotions, and that it's a good idea to seek out relationships.
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    Come on, man. Please, someone help me out.
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    Negative emotions can eventually leave to the cardiac arrest that you're so worried about. Please talk to someone about it, like a health psychologist? Confide in them and you'll feel better, and receive advice too!
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    Just embrace them. They're part of life's rich tapestry and all that.
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    Hey you have to talk about your feelings. The more you talk about them, they seem to disappear. Do not try to immerse yourself too much. Tackle your "problem" head on. Be your own best friend. Take it as a challenge than as a problem... I thought you will be helped by my words....
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    Talk to a professional.
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    Just find somebody online you can talk to. It helps, A LOT, to talk about your feelings, in my experience
 
 
 
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