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Girls, would you be put off a guy if...

He quite visible self-harm scars on one of his arms? How put off would you be, or if at all? I used to do it but have stopped completely only because of the scars they give and that no creams get rid of them completely. :smile:

Reply 1

tinktinktinkerbell

16

i would be very put off to the point where i wouldnt date him at all

sorry but IMO self harm shows weakness, shows that the person can not cope with something without harming themselves, even if the person did it in the past but not now i still couldnt get with them

Reply 2

mel0n

17

No I don't think it would put me off as such. I wouldn't like it, though. I wouldn't like it at all but scars alone would not put me off a person, though if they still did it I would probably be put off. Saying that, I would only really know if I was in such a situation :colondollar:

Reply 3

Ilora-Danon

3

If he's still self harming then I wouldn't touch him with a barge pole tbh. I've lived with someone with a mental illness for 23 years and I certainly wouldn't choose to be in a relationship with someone who self harms. It's such a destructive issue for others.

But, if it's been dealt with, then sure why not. Scars don't bother me at all tbh.

Reply 4

loveisjustasong

14

The only thing that would put me off him is if he was still self-harming and if he was still depressed. Scars wouldn't put me off.

Reply 5

Sabertooth

20

tinktinktinkerbell

i would be very put off to the point where i wouldnt date him at all

sorry but IMO self harm shows weakness, shows that the person can not cope with something without harming themselves, even if the person did it in the past but not now i still couldnt get with them

Self harm is weakness yet getting some stupid birthmark removed because of all the nasty, mean people making fun isn't? :biggrin:

Reply 6

reisen

9

yeah but aren't there quite a few treatments for scars like steroid injections and lazers?

Reply 7

ormaybeitsjustnarcissism

14

Not if I knew the person had stopped. And I know someone that swears by some sort of cocoa butter moisturiser thing (for making them fade more).

Reply 8

tinktinktinkerbell

16

Sabertooth

Self harm is weakness yet getting some stupid birthmark removed because of all the nasty, mean people making fun isn't? :biggrin:

no it isnt :h:

Reply 9

Starless Eyes

Sabertooth

Self harm is weakness yet getting some stupid birthmark removed because of all the nasty, mean people making fun isn't? :biggrin:

Hmm, that's a completely different thing, isn't it?

Reply 10

>Anna<

15

I agree with pretty much everyone else. It would only be an issue if he was still self-harming/depressed.

Reply 11

Antonia87

14

Nah wouldnt put me off (providing the self-harm completely stopped). My boyfriend has scars around his nose from years of drug abuse. They appear to be fading though.

Reply 12

Sabertooth

20

tinktinktinkerbell

no it isnt :h:

Of course. And you know the OP's situation do you?

Starless Eyes

Hmm, that's a completely different thing, isn't it?

Not really. Consider some of the reasons people might self harm. Frankly it's pathetic someone who made so many posts saying how she wasn't "weak" for being upset by comments by people has the audacity to accuse people like the OP who may be going through immense mental torment as weak.

Reply 13

tropical-twist3

18

If the self-harming is definitely no longer an issue then no I wouldn't be put off.

Reply 14

Liverpool's Number 9

10

I was spending the night with a girl when I saw she had scars across her arm just below her elbow, quite a few as well. The only way it bothered me was that I was upset she ever felt the need to do that. It didn't put me off her in the slightest.

Reply 15

Starless Eyes

Sabertooth

Frankly it's pathetic someone who made so many posts saying how she wasn't "weak" for being upset by comments by people has the audacity to accuse people like the OP who may be going through immense mental torment as weak.

I totally agree, it is pathetic.

Reply 16

EskimoJo

18

Not if they'd stopped.

id be turned on

9 Liverpool's Number

I was spending the night with a girl when I saw she had scars across her arm just below her elbow, quite a few as well. The only way it bothered me was that I was upset she ever felt the need to do that. It didn't put me off her in the slightest.