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Gay, depressed and very very lonely..... Watch

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    Hey, well I've met a guy who I'm a pretty crazy about. He lives quite far away and is assexual which I have no problem with. However we've met up a few times and have a great connection. I've tried talking to him about where we're going as he's pretty repressed with his emotions and he said that he thought we would probably end up going out.

    There have been a few times when I thought I was falling in love with this guy but now he's told me he's being deployed by the army and I'm feeling very low. I live in Lincoln, which has no gay scene and my dad has cancer so I'm feeling very vulnerable and depressed. Feel like everything is going wrong. I thought about just meeting some guys for a bit of fun but it doesn't seem right and I would be devastated if that guy did that to me. Problem is I want a relationship badly, I hate to be alone and have never had a proper bf before. I don't want to wait for him, awful as that sounds. Don't know if there any other gay people on here that may have some advice or just anyone in general....
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    (Original post by crying lightning)
    Hey, well I've met a guy who I'm a pretty crazy about. He lives quite far away and is assexual which I have no problem with. However we've met up a few times and have a great connection. I've tried talking to him about where we're going as he's pretty repressed with his emotions and he said that he thought we would probably end up going out.

    There have been a few times when I thought I was falling in love with this guy but now he's told me he's being deployed by the army and I'm feeling very low. I live in Lincoln, which has no gay scene and my dad has cancer so I'm feeling very vulnerable and depressed. Feel like everything is going wrong. I thought about just meeting some guys for a bit of fun but it doesn't seem right and I would be devastated if that guy did that to me. Problem is I want a relationship badly, I hate to be alone and have never had a proper bf before. I don't want to wait for him, awful as that sounds. Don't know if there any other gay people on here that may have some advice or just anyone in general....
    hey i live near lincon and i know quite a few people 'on the scene'. maybe i could give you some tips on where they go! i dont know if you know but lincoln does have a gay bar called angels bar. i think its the wrong thing to have stuck in your mind that you want a relationship, they just happen you cant go looking for them. i'm sure if you just put yourself out there as a fun guy looking for friendship then you will eventually meet someone good for you.
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    I really think the best way of finding a relationship is not to look for one (regardless of gay, straight or whatever).

    It sounds like you need to work on you mood more than finding a bloke. Do things you enjoy, get out and meet new people, just for the sake of it, not for a relationship, and the rest will follow.
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    Hey, I know what you mean but i'm now nearly 20 and still nothing has happened. I'm so depressed and lonely its making me feel awful. I don't even know any gay people and have no idea about how to socialize with them. Right now I just feel pathetic that everyone else has someone and I'm almost 20 and I'm still single.
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    Hi there,

    Sorry to hear you feel that way. Although I am bi and female - I am not sure how helpful my response would be, but I will try.

    I can understand how depressed you may feel and lonely. It is definately hard - perhaps you should explain how you feel more to the guy and talk about his deployment issues? Perhaps he can speak to his employers regarding locality issues - I think you should talk to him if you like him enough.

    If for example you have flings - do you think you will feel better after that? It may seem at the moment it is getting rid of the pain but you may feel worse afterwards.

    I know it sucks and it is really really horrible but I would like to suggest you try keeping busy in other ways perhaps taking up a sport or anything that interest's you.

    I would also like to point out the more you look for a relationship it may not help - just don't go out on the hunt and something will crop up one day. Please try not to get your expectations high as well that's when it really hurts.

    I really hope you feel better soon and good luck
 
 
 
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