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Smoking-creating problems between me & GF watch

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    (Original post by scanningforlifeforms)
    basically i loathe smokers. Utterly loathe them. The merest hint of cigarette smoke has me coughing like mad. Unfortunately my girlfriend smokes. Not regularly (as apparently she used to before we dated), but irregularly when we go out.

    I suppose because i don't regularly see it it makes it harder to adjust to, which is why i really don't like her doing it. Also, she says 'i do it rarely' which for me makes it worse-were she an addict i could understand, but i cannot comprehend a choice to smoke occasionally for pleasure, it's completely antithetical to me.

    We've argued over it a couple of times and i feel it's coming between us, threating our relationship (which otherwise is pretty damn fantastic)

    Any ideas? Should i push it and try to get her to give up, or leave it alone and accept it?
    Take the stick out of your arse and let her do what she likes. She isn't doing it to be malicious, if she enjoys it I don't see the problem, its not like its directly affecting you its her health shes hurting and as a young person you shouldn't let that threaten a decent relationship. I can understand showing dissent, but starting horrible arguments over it is a bit much.
    (Original post by chemical_bex)
    You sound exactly like my boyfriend.
    It's not really a big deal if she only does it occassionaly.
    Fair enough if it was all the time.
    I just had the most hilarious thought- that neither of you knew the other had TSR and you were actually going out with OP...
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    (Original post by Libtolu)
    her pet hate could be him not smoking that could be an ironic turn of events
    I hope its this.
    Just deal with it you say your relatioship is pretty fantastic so why ruin it?
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    (Original post by gingergooner)
    I just had the most hilarious thought- that neither of you knew the other had TSR and you were actually going out with OP...
    Yeah, i'm a little bit terrified of that..:p:
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    I smoke; my partner doesn't. But the way he deals with it makes me want to stop smoking. He never judges or berates. A little gentle teasing about the smell left on his duvet is about as far as it goes. There are things he does that irritate me. There are other things I do that certainly irritate the hell out of him. The relationship is worth more than the sum of each other's annoying habits.

    Besides, aside from enjoyment, I mainly smoke to deal with anxiety (the act of rolling a cigarette can snap me out of whatever hellish place I am mentally descending to)- and being around his non-judgmental self calms me down no end. I don't need to smoke around him because I know if I do light up he'll be fine about it. If that, uh, makes sense.
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    Smoking makes you cough like mad?! Lmao you must have some pretty ****** up lungs
    Let her continue, her life and also it is quite sexy :p: if you knew she was a smoker before you got together then you shouldn't really have a big problem with it.
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    If this thread was the other way around (ie, I like to smoke but my 'other half' doesn't like it) loads of people would be saying that you (the smoker in opposite land) should take this as a change to quit.
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    (Original post by Anoneemous)
    I neg reped you for this. OP don't try and change her, I agree with Bagration smoke makes you cough how old are you? You should start smoking and get rid of your attitude
    And I'm negging you for this.. Smoking is proven to lead to a very very nasty death

    oh look someone expressed their opinion. Fool
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    (Original post by Bagration)
    Yeah, well start understanding it and stop being such a pussy. wahh wahh cigarettes make me cough wahh wahh. Your girlfriend can handle smoking but you can't? What's wrong with you?
    this
    man up op
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    I detest smokers and their attitudes towards passive smoking. They're a very few that I know that make sure they're not giving their cancer stick smoke to someone else as others just light up anywhere they bloomin' well feel like. (outside of course).

    My Mum smokes but confines it to the kitchen. She believes that it doesn't leave the kitchen and it's like a family pet that knows it's boundaries. It just stops, dead on the door line does it? When I'm in my room, I can smell it in the air coming upstairs. When I come home from the Gym, college or whatever, I can immediately smell it as I work through the door. The house smells like someone smokes in there. Which can't be nice for guests.

    However, there are issues of individuality here OP. Your girlfriend doesn't seem dependent on them, just merely enjoys the one now and again. Not many people kick the habit 100% in my opinion and there is always a temptation to go back for old times sake. (So ex-smokers have told me).

    I don't think you can change her ways. It's up to her to want to quit, not specifically for you.
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    (Original post by Chez87)
    Oh lord, so she smokes socially every now and then and you want to break up over it? It's her life. let her do what she wants. and its not like you're having to live in a house where she smokes 40 a day and its affecting your health. She'll probably stop doing it eventually anyway, without you nagging her.
    whoa, he didnt say anything about breaking up. jheez.:eyebrow:

    regardless, OP just deal with it, I kissed a smoker the other night and even though her mouth tasted like an old barbecue grill, I couldnt care less! just learn to live with it and tell her not to blow into into ur face obviously. no point in making it a big deal and scarring ur relationship.
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    Oh jezz, get over it.

    She smokes sometimes when she has a few drinks, which I presume is not every day, big deal. Get over it.
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    (Original post by Ludwig Wittgenstein)
    I hope it does threaten your relationship - She deserves someone who isn't such a little *****.
    Yeah! Man up!
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    (Original post by Anoneemous)
    I neg reped you for this. OP don't try and change her, I agree with Bagration smoke makes you cough how old are you? You should start smoking and get rid of your attitude
    Do you smoke?
    I hope so.
    It's a slow and expensive suicide.
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    I completely agree with you OP. Although it is her life. The only thing you can realistically do is ask her not to smoke around you. She really should respect that because it should be your choice if you want to passive smoke or not. Or you will have to make a point of leaving the room when she does do it. I could never go out with a smoker, I absolutely hate it and I get asthma attacks and horrible sore throats from it sometimes if I am around smoke too long. Yes it was a nightmare before the smoking ban, I couldn't go anywhere with smokers in, I would just choke and my throat would close up and then I would start to panic which would make it worse!
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    (Original post by AccioJellyBean)
    Do you smoke?
    I hope so.
    It's a slow and expensive suicide.
    :lol:

    A couple of cigarettes a month with alcohol whilst out with friends is about as dangerous as breathing the air in London. She isn't on 40 a day for **** sake.
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    (Original post by rainbowbex)
    And I'm negging you for this.. Smoking is proven to lead to a very very nasty death

    oh look someone expressed their opinion. Fool
    I think you have your facts wrong. It was proven under oath in 1994 there were no harmful effects
    PS im negging you for this
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    (Original post by AccioJellyBean)
    Do you smoke?
    I hope so.
    It's a slow and expensive suicide.
    Listen to your last quote, take your lies somewhere else
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    i have the same thing with my boyf : (
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    Man up pussy
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    (Original post by scanningforlifeforms)
    basically i loathe smokers. Utterly loathe them. The merest hint of cigarette smoke has me coughing like mad. Unfortunately my girlfriend smokes. Not regularly (as apparently she used to before we dated), but irregularly when we go out.

    I suppose because i don't regularly see it it makes it harder to adjust to, which is why i really don't like her doing it. Also, she says 'i do it rarely' which for me makes it worse-were she an addict i could understand, but i cannot comprehend a choice to smoke occasionally for pleasure, it's completely antithetical to me.

    We've argued over it a couple of times and i feel it's coming between us, threating our relationship (which otherwise is pretty damn fantastic)

    Any ideas? Should i push it and try to get her to give up, or leave it alone and accept it?
    I quit smoking about 7 months ago and trust me, trying to make someone who likes smoking stop is not going to work (even if she likes the odd smoke).

    It might just be one of those things you'll have to put up with!
 
 
 
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