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    Right I *may* have just posted this but I think I deleted it by mistake....

    Basically my father died about two years ago and his brother was a bit of a **** - he kept trying to take control of the estate as my father died intestate and was generally unhelpful and rude to my mother. At the funeral his wife was rude about my father to me, stole something from the house and was generally as bad as him.

    Despite this I have tried to maintain friendly relations (though my mother has obviously been less willing - they had been rude to her during the entire marriage too) in a manner of ways. I call my aunt and uncle fairly frequently though they spend most of the conversation telling me off for lord knows what. I go to visit, where I put up with continual jibes about my personal shortcomings and the many my father had while he was alive - occasionally it desends into a fun comparison game between the two of us. When I sent christmas presents to my cousins this year I was told off for being 'extravagant' - they think for some reason that my mother and I are rich (she's a poor academic, I'm on a bursary so :rolleyes: ).

    All this I could put up with - just - partly because I am very fond of my cousins and the children one of them has and because my other cousin is getting married in the summer. I got an invite from her for me and my mother a while ago but now all of a sudden my aunt and uncle are denying that the invitation was for my mother too and my cousin has secretly told me that this is because my uncle has forced her to take the name off the guest list through dislike. This, and I've already had a hard time persuading my mum to come to the wedding because I'm just trying to keep the family from forming a complete rift!

    So what do I do? Do I accept this and tell my mum she has been dis-invited - but if so can I really go without her? Do I swallow my pride (yet again) and beg him to relent? Or do I pick up the phone, tell him what a piece of **** I think he is and then never speak to him again?

    Sorry that was so long but it is rather complicated.
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    please....anybody?
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    :hugs: Messed up families/rifts within them can be an ass (Which makes me even more grateful I don't have to have contact with my dad's side of the family!) Your cousin originally invited the pair of you, and it is your cousins wedding so go. Is it only your aunt and uncle who have a problem with your mum?
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    You need to let him know how much of a **** he is/ Maybe your cousins could help you change their ways, and reunite the family? I think you should all go to the wedding, because you're family and you actually care.
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    I think probably the third one. If you and your cousins get on, why not explain why you can't go, and see if you can still stay in touch even if you never want to see your uncle again?
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    Thanks all I always feel this is sort of my fault (not really sure why) but I feel a bit better now.

    My cousin doesn't mind my mum being there, I think she actually quite likes her, but my uncle is being such a pain and I understand why my cousin doesn't want to start an argument with her father over my mum!

    I just feel so depressed I thought I was sort of getting through to them until this

    Maybe I should talk to my uncle.
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    Take your mom to the wedding. If your cousin wants her there, then its her decision.

    After the wedding, tell your uncle and brother and whoever else is causing trouble to grow up. Its none of their business what you or your mom do. If you want to stay close to your cousins then you do that and ignore what your aunt and uncle do or say.
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    (Original post by Laurah5498)
    Take your mom to the wedding. If your cousin wants her there, then its her decision.

    After the wedding, tell your uncle and brother and whoever else is causing trouble to grow up. Its none of their business what you or your mom do. If you want to stay close to your cousins then you do that and ignore what your aunt and uncle do or say.

    See - I really want to do this - but I don't want to cause trouble or bad memories for my cousin on her wedding day it means so much to her! And while she wants to invite us both to a certain extent she is ambivalent. Though I think we could become close and I am making a real effort there's no way she'd cause a fight with her parents over us.
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    Lay into the ******...although perhaps not on the day of the wedding.
 
 
 
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