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    You lack the social skills, social responsibility and you suffer from too much peer pressure, otherwise you would "party". Now some people will disagree with me - probably in anger, because they are the same like you.

    You have to party. You might not like it, but try it. Stop living this crap boring life. You're young and you're wasting it.
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    my flatmate is teetotal, she still comes out with us maybe once a week and has a good time
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    (Original post by htn)
    Stop living this crap boring life. You're young and you're wasting it.
    Life isn't a waste as long as you're enjoying it ... and yeah, I do have a similar mentality to OP.
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    (Original post by TheSownRose)
    People will probably think it's strange, at least in the beginning, because a lot of people at uni, especially in first year, think they're having a bad social life if they only go out once or twice a week, but (in my experience) they don't really mock you. I do have one friend who calls me an misanthrope, but that is a joke ... I think. *

    If you're doing what it is that makes you happy, why do other peoples' opinions of your social life bother you? And if you're not happy with it, change it!

    * No, it is. It's that kind of friendship.
    This was acceptable advice when the OP was 13 or 14 years old, but now it's time to set her straight - if living a boring life makes you happy, then yes people's opinion matter, because living a boring life is living a crap life, especially at such a great age.

    There is a reason why really intelligent people fail to get good jobs yet people not so highly educated get really good jobs, and a lot of people fall under the first category in this thread. Absolutely no knowledge of how the real world works.
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    I am in first year, and to be honest. I went to one event. I personally couldn't care for parties. Call me anti-social or w/e
    I paid my £3,220 (was when I paid it) for a good education, not to waste my money, become ill, make a fool of myself partying.
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    (Original post by TheSownRose)
    Life isn't a waste as long as you're enjoying it ... and yeah, I do have a similar mentality to OP.
    You've got a very classical approach to living life. A lot of people enjoy raping others, so for them life isn't a waste, yet a normal person would see that paradigm as wasting time, so your argument fails there.

    And it goes a lot further - life isn't about having fun all the time, it's about doing things that are uncomfortable, it's about doing things that you really don't enjoy doing, that's what separates the good from the best. Life is a waste in a way, if you're enjoying it, you're not doing things that are making you uncomfortable = thus you are not growing. Some nice sociology in there.
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    (Original post by db_bondy)
    I am in first year, and to be honest. I went to one event. I personally couldn't care for parties. Call me anti-social or w/e
    I paid my £3,220 (was when I paid it) for a good education, not to waste my money, become ill, make a fool of myself partying.
    Another one who has no knowledge.

    Going to a party doesn't necessarily mean you have to spend money - £5 on 5 parties a month equals £25 for 1 month, now £5 could mean 1 drink or 5 mini drinks - usually at a party you go to have fun, dance, meet girl/boy, etc, so drinks aren't a huge thing.

    Make a fool of yourself partying? It's clear that you've only been to one event.

    Ill? Again, how can you make such an opinion on living a social life when you've only been to one event, I've been to at least 30/40 parties and I've rarely been ill.

    A lot of bias in your post, I hate most parties, yet I still go to a lot of them, do you see me getting ill, having no social skills (like 99% of TSR), etc? Nope.
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    (Original post by htn)
    A lot of people enjoy raping others, so for them life isn't a waste, yet a normal person would see that paradigm as wasting time, so your argument fails there.

    And it goes a lot further - life isn't about having fun all the time, it's about doing things that are uncomfortable, it's about doing things that you really don't enjoy doing
    Yeah, but we're not talking about violent crimes here, we discussing partying. I'll reiterate: life isn't a waste as long as you're happy engaging in non-criminal activities.

    No, it's not about 100% fun ... but it's also not about making yourself unnecessarily miserable. That's a waste of life - spending significant portions of it thinking, "I'm not happy, and I don't have to be unhappy".
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    (Original post by TheSownRose)
    Yeah, but we're not talking about violent crimes here, we discussing partying. I'll reiterate: life isn't a waste as long as you're happy engaging in non-criminal activities.

    No, it's not about 100% fun ... but it's also not about making yourself unnecessarily miserable. That's a waste of life - spending significant portions of it thinking, "I'm not happy, and I don't have to be unhappy".
    What if you're happy engaging in playing video games like Call of Duty? They serve no real purpose - you don't get knowledge, your eye sight gets damaged, you lack development in social skills, all that crap, etc.. another argument..

    Is this how you see uncomfortable? As being miserable? I see uncomfortable situations as situations that will make me grow and judge me as a person, not one of confidence-killer or creating misery. Reframe that thought.
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    (Original post by HaNzY)
    I don't do it because I don't live there (however I would not do it if I did live there either :awesome: ) but no-one looks down on me. People sometimes gave me a funny look when we started the course in October, but those people who gave me a funny look don't do that now I am getting all A's and they are getting C's. Not that everyone who goes partying gets bad grades, but the ones in my tutor group who go out almost every night are getting C's whereas I am getting A's. (I am not generalising! There are many who are getting good grades and partying, I am solely referring to those girls in my tutor group! Also, not that C's are bad grades, I am just referring to them in comparison to A's.)

    I like going out for nice meals with my friends and stuff and I haven't really found anyone at uni who likes to just do that really. I may have found one person but she lives at home which is the opposite side of uni to my house

    I probably haven't had the best experience to be honest because I live at home so have not met as many people as others and I have also found that no-one I have met so far has anything in common with me. Most of the people I have met have horses would you believe, and they are always talking about their horses and racing and dressage etc. I have sat on a horse once so I have no idea what they are talking about, I do not enjoy the conversations anymore. It was okay for the first 2 months asking "oh how is your horse" and asking other questions about horses and riding, but now I have worn all those questions out and I have nothing else to input to the conversations. I wish I could just find someone who is like me

    But no I wouldn't worry about being the only one not partying, you probably won't be the only one anyway. It doesn't matter if you don't party, just try and find people who prefer to do the stuff you like doing
    This all of this (except the horses).

    There's always a couple of immature people who will be utterly shocked and appalled that you don't drink or don't want to go out. But to be honest they are few and far between and the ones that you get on with well will get over it very quickly.

    Honestly, as long as you're enjoying what you're doing and aren't making yourself miserable doing things you don't want to do then there's nothing wrong with you or what you do. As long as your happy...that's all you need.
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    (Original post by htn)
    Another one who has no knowledge.

    Going to a party doesn't necessarily mean you have to spend money - £5 on 5 parties a month equals £25 for 1 month, now £5 could mean 1 drink or 5 mini drinks - usually at a party you go to have fun, dance, meet girl/boy, etc, so drinks aren't a huge thing.

    Make a fool of yourself partying? It's clear that you've only been to one event.

    Ill? Again, how can you make such an opinion on living a social life when you've only been to one event, I've been to at least 30/40 parties and I've rarely been ill.

    A lot of bias in your post, I hate most parties, yet I still go to a lot of them, do you see me getting ill, having no social skills (like 99% of TSR), etc? Nope.
    It's not a lack of knowledge. It's an opinion.
    You don't want to party? Don't go.

    Some people don't react well to alcohol, however small the measure so maybe it does make this TSR poster ill.

    Different people have different ideas of what is 'fun'. And some think they HAVE to do what others say is 'fun'. If it doesn't feel right for you then why force it?

    A lot of bias in your post I reckon.
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    (Original post by htn)
    What if you're happy engaging in playing video games like Call of Duty? They serve no real purpose - you don't get knowledge, your eye sight gets damaged, you lack development in social skills, all that crap, etc.. another argument..

    Is this how you see uncomfortable? As being miserable? I see uncomfortable situations as situations that will make me grow and judge me as a person, not one of confidence-killer or creating misery. Reframe that thought.
    Ok, not things you value very highly ... but CoD can also train physical response, develop tactical thinking and I believe it's also multi-player, so you can develop social skills.

    The odd uncomfortable situation is part and parcel of life - you learn from them. However, deliberately forcing yourself into a lot needless situations that will make you uncomfortable will, IMO, make you miserable in the long run.
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    (Original post by musicforsanity)
    This all of this (except the horses).

    There's always a couple of immature people who will be utterly shocked and appalled that you don't drink or don't want to go out. But to be honest they are few and far between and the ones that you get on with well will get over it very quickly.

    Honestly, as long as you're enjoying what you're doing and aren't making yourself miserable doing things you don't want to do then there's nothing wrong with you or what you do. As long as your happy...that's all you need.
    No, you're giving her the wrong advice. You're telling her to be comfortable in her stage, instead of being an adult and choosing to grow into life's pressures.

    As long as your happy? Who told you such utter tripe?
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    (Original post by TheSownRose)
    Ok, not things you value very highly ... but CoD can also train physical response, develop tactical thinking and I believe it's also multi-player, so you can develop social skills.

    The odd uncomfortable situation is part and parcel of life - you learn from them. However, deliberately forcing yourself into a lot needless situations that will make you uncomfortable will, IMO, make you miserable in the long run.
    You definitely don't play CoD then... not because you're a girl, but because social skills isn't hearing 13/14 yr old boys screaming on the mic "stop cheating !!! " and tactical thinking in CoD? Yeah right... 99% of people rush like idiots in the game, even the ones who prestige.

    The "odd" uncomfortable situation is part and parcel of life? Yes, and you learn from them. Forcing yourself into more uncomfortable situations makes you learn more, thus extending personal growth.

    Why miserable in the long run? After a while you realise there is no true uncomfortable situation are being in so many uncomfortable situations and learning from them, not misery in the long run, but learning. What does misery have to do with uncomfortable?
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    (Original post by musicforsanity)
    It's not a lack of knowledge. It's an opinion.
    You don't want to party? Don't go.

    Some people don't react well to alcohol, however small the measure so maybe it does make this TSR poster ill.

    Different people have different ideas of what is 'fun'. And some think they HAVE to do what others say is 'fun'. If it doesn't feel right for you then why force it?

    A lot of bias in your post I reckon.
    Difference between you and me I can tell, we both like doing things we enjoy, but doing things we don't enjoy? I do more than you it seems, and I grow more and learn more from it. Fact.

    Your point on alcohol is fair, I didnt consider that.

    Why force it? Because some people need to be kicked in the arse to realise that to live life you have to step out of your comfort zone, continuously.

    And your last point is humorous, why aren't you a stand-up comedian?
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    (Original post by htn)
    What does misery have to do with uncomfortable?
    Discomfort and misery have very little in common. It's more the deliberately making yourself uncomfortable that will bring the misery. Eventually, you realise that you're not happy ... and then you realise that you brought it upon yourself.
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    (Original post by htn)
    No, you're giving her the wrong advice. You're telling her to be comfortable in her stage, instead of being an adult and choosing to grow into life's pressures.

    As long as your happy? Who told you such utter tripe?
    Choosing to be happy where you can, when you can is being an adult. Yes people as adults have to make sacrifices and must compromise but if you have the choice to be happy...be. Otherwise, life is going to feel a whole lot longer.

    Keep your advice to yourself since you certainly aren't fit to be advising anyone else at this immature stage in your life. If this is how you make YOURSELF happy, maybe you should consider sacrificing this pathetic outlet, like an adult.
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    (Original post by landofunk)
    Yeah like Ronar said you might change your mind. When I went to university (especially in first year) the people who didn't party (go out/have a few cans at home with people) were called boring, and to be fair they were a bit. You'll find with all the socialising, if you're having a good time with people, the partying will come naturally . Hope this helps and don't worry about it.
    (Original post by Antzlck)
    You don't have to do it every night but come on, everyone likes to party! Unless you are socially awkward and generally don't enjoy the company of others and meeting new people.
    (Original post by paddyman4)
    If I were you I would go out to every club night and event in freshers week, whether or not you enjoy it. I'm in my third year and most of my best friends here are those I met on pub golf and club nights in freshers week.

    In all honesty if you don't do that, people won't make fun of you, but they might not know that you exist. Once you have friends and everyone calms down then you can have a perfectly functioning social life without going out, just having people over for drinks and stuff.
    All excellent advice, I would read this 3/4 times if I were in OP's position.
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    (Original post by htn)
    Difference between you and me I can tell, we both like doing things we enjoy, but doing things we don't enjoy? I do more than you it seems, and I grow more and learn more from it. Fact.

    Your point on alcohol is fair, I didnt consider that.

    Why force it? Because some people need to be kicked in the arse to realise that to live life you have to step out of your comfort zone, continuously.

    And your last point is humorous, why aren't you a stand-up comedian?
    I've done plenty of things that are outside of my comfort zone. But unless they were necessary I didn't keep doing them if I wasn't enjoying them.

    New experiences are great, sure. But if you don't want to continue them then why? You don't always eat the food you hate, do you? You don't swim if you hate the water.

    I'm happy. Why? Because now, after talking about this, I am even more sure that I am a mature, happy and secure adult.
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    (Original post by htn)
    All excellent advice, I would read this 3/4 times if I were in OP's position.
    Yeah I think its excellent advice.
 
 
 
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