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    I want to, but I'm too sad to.
    My friend just texted me, what you doing tonight? etc..
    If I go out, I'll have a good time, I love my friends, we live in Central London, there's always **** to do. I have lots of friends but seriously it's like I cba to even answer the phone to them sometimes. Like socialising is too much effort. They deserve way better than someone like me. I cba to even reply. I'm too sad. I'm physically forcing myself to reply to my friend atm, though I'd enjoy going out when I'm out, before going out I really cba. I feel permanently sad; whenever something good happens 10 bad things happen as well.

    I don't have a boyfriend, the one guy I wanted turned me down; now whenever I think of him I just start crying. For 10 months he's been my every thought, no point going into this.. but I'm too sad to even function without him and as much as I try to get over it I can't. I thought I was getting over it, I really did, but randomly it will just come back like a ton of bricks. Yesterday morning for no reason I started dreaming about him again, but worse, about him and his girlfriend (new). I have recurring dreams about them and it drives me mad. Honestly I can't eat/sleep/anything without thinking about him. That's not even the point of this whole whiney thread. I just wish I'd never met him at all.

    Life just goes on and on and on and on. I have nothing to look forward to, life just lurches from one **** experience to the next, my grandfather died suddenly 3 months ago, now my grandmother had advanced cancer (also a sudden revelation) and my other grandfather has been hospitalised with failing kidneys and I can't see him cause he lives in Italy.

    I don't get on with my family much, I hate my stepdad and I want to live with my dad but can't because his flat is too small. I want to move out next yr (I'm a second yr at uni) but don't think I can afford too/I'm too scared of running out of money. My friend wants me to move in with her for our third yrs, but I don't know if I will. I want to, but I can't get a job at all (I've tried) and if I can't then there's no way I will be able to afford to... I don't think. So the answer is to live here for another yr, with a stepfather I can't stand who's not even talking to me.

    I'm so miserable, I don't really care about anything. I'm fine around other people, but when I'm alone I'm just so sad. And it just goes on and on. I'm just so permanently sad and crying. I cry all the time. If you knew me you'd never ever suspect it, I'm pretty normal to be around, quite outspoken and happy. Honestly you'd never know.

    I'm scared of exams, I'm at a decent uni doing a respected subject, I need to do well this yr but whenever I try to focus or study now my mind travels to somewhere else, Ie to him. He's always in my thoughts, the biggest part of my being miserable. I hate that I know him, I wish I'd never met him (the worst thing is, I would never have met him if it wasn't for him, but that's another story again).

    I just wish I could be happy. Wish I could shut up being sad all the time, it really is so boring. I hate my life, on a scale of 1 - 10 I'd put it at 3. I hate life, I have nothing to be excited about. Nothing. I don't even like my appearance.

    This is pointless.
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    #1

    Blahh why did I even make this a thread?
    fail
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    It sounds like you might be depressed, maybe it would help to talk to a professional. You may feel a bit silly at the time but it can really help some people to have counselling (helped me a lot, though I had to stick at it for a good while). Also you seem like you're afraid of taking risks, so maybe pick one of the things that scares you (like moving out) and make it a goal, start actively working towards it and maybe it won't scare you as much as it does when it's just in your head. What's the worst that could happen? You run out of money and have to move back in. At least you'll have tried, and you can try again.

    Also, making a real effort to go out will help. You say you have fun when you go out, so keep busy, even if you have to force yourself out the door. Even if it's only a couple of hours of not thinking about all the stuff that's getting you down, it'll help you remember that you don't always feel as bad as you do at the moment. Good luck, I hope you start feeling better soon!
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    Ok, look, OP, the idea I get is you are depressed which btw isn't always the case. I've been in your situation, go to a counsellor. It did me the world of good to talk to a non-judgemental stranger who gave really good insights. Find a good one and you're on to a winner.

    Message me, I've been in a similar situation to you and I like to help so feel free to contact me and we can chat and you can get stuff off your chest with me if you like.
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    Maybe you'd feel better if you opened up to one of your friends instead of keeping your feelings all bottled up. There's a lot going on in your life so don't be hard on yourself for feeling down.
    • #1
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    #1

    I honestly don't think I'm depressed, that's a chemical imbalance. I'm just sodding miserable, but if different things in my life were to change I'd be alot happier. If i had a boyfriend, if I had money to move out/had a job, if I got on with my family etc...
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    #2

    I was like this, I almost failed some 2nd year exams because of it. If its affecting you studying then you should go your uni councilling service and they'll probably recommend you see a gp for meds. I had social anxiety disorder so I dont enjoy socialising as much as other people, but if going out makes you happy then you should do it, and its better to be amongst your friends. Also join a gym or do some exercise, you will better about yourself and also releases endorphins which naturally make you feel happier.
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    I can relate to the step father bit. I absolutely hated my step dad & my mum didn't listen at all. That is a massive burden that really messes with your head. I'm a very happy person, but for two years was very depressed because of that, which is really not like me.

    My advice is definitely to move out. It made me so much happier.

    But also I agree with the posts above that you should see a counsellor.

    Also, realise that a lot of the feelings you're having are irrational.

    Go out tonight & have a good time
    • #3
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    Everything sounds same as what im like! :O , apart from i have a bf, but it doesnt feel same anymore, so i'm not happy. keep anon, he uses this site.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I honestly don't think I'm depressed, that's a chemical imbalance. I'm just sodding miserable, but if different things in my life were to change I'd be alot happier. If i had a boyfriend, if I had money to move out/had a job, if I got on with my family etc...
    Still go to a counsellor. That's what I felt and guess what? Now things have changed in my life I'm generally a lot happier, I really couldn't tell you how much the counsellor contributed to that but she definitely helped make me feel happier.
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    Depression isn't all about a chemical imbalance you know. It's often caused by problems or things that you consider to be wrong with your life. One of the best ways to make yourself feel better is to make sure you're with people. I know it's hard when you've gotten to the stage that you can't but you should try, or get someone to actually take you out. I think you should see a counsellor too as it might make you feel better talking things through.
 
 
 
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