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    This is some social rule I've heard, but I don't quite understand it. From my experience, I went out with a boy who was my friend's ex, but to be fair, I did like him more, even when they were together, and I even asked her if she would be fine with us going out and she said yes. So what is with this unwritten rule? Do you completely follow it? Or do you think it depends on the circumstances? I reckon, if you like someone, and they like you, then just go for it, the past is the past and shouldn't stop you from doing things. Although, I guess in cases where they've both ended on really bad terms and are complete enemies, you might want to reconsider. Otherwise, if they're both fine with it then it should be OK. What do you think?
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    I don't think that if you like each other then thats fine and you should 'go for it' if the friend they were with doesn't want you to, especially if it's very soon after they break up.
    I'd say if the friend thinks its cool then thats an all clear, but I wouldn't want to mess up a decent friendship if it can be avoided.
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    I think because usually, if your close friend's relationship with them did not work out, you know what went wrong/the ex's flaws/how hard the break up was etc. If it really affected your friend then it isn't really right to date their ex. However if it's a situation like the OP suggested then it is alright, I guess
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    This is some social rule I've heard, but I don't quite understand it. From my experience, I went out with a boy who was my friend's ex, but to be fair, I did like him more, even when they were together, and I even asked her if she would be fine with us going out and she said yes. So what is with this unwritten rule? Do you completely follow it? Or do you think it depends on the circumstances? I reckon, if you like someone, and they like you, then just go for it, the past is the past and shouldn't stop you from doing things. Although, I guess in cases where they've both ended on really bad terms and are complete enemies, you might want to reconsider. Otherwise, if they're both fine with it then it should be OK. What do you think?
    great sig. :yes:
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    Two of my friends dated me Ex. I could have told them he was an idiot.
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    (Original post by jon838)
    great sig. :yes:
    Thanks Good answers people
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    really depends on the situation. how long they were together, how long they've been split up. Her feelings for him, how much you like him, how many people you actually know (ie. have to choose from!) etc.

    I dated someone who used to date a friend of mine but I didn't like her very much and we had a great couple of years together so it was worth it. I wouldn't mind if my best friend got together with my ex either.
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    I have no idea how it works for girls but for guys its family members and ex's are off limits. Even if a guy says he's 'cool' with it, really and truly you should avoid this.
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    Maybe its just be being obsessive, but I'd probably just spend my relationship thinking that he'd had my friend. 'Ew your lips have been on her.' ect, and worse.

    Never done it though, if it was someone worth it I would. I'm open to try it I guess.

    All my friends have foul taste in men anyway.
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    I have first hand experience of this one...My ex was a complete waster, he never wanted to make anything of himself and had a reputation for hitting on anything in sight but I really liked him and didn't listen to any of my friends (poor judgement, first boyfriend ) I thought it'd be nice if he got to know my friends better, so I invited two of them round to my house with him for a family party. He managed to hit on both of them and decided to sleep on the floor with one in my own room. I was in complete denial until I said I didn't want to spend the weekend with him to catch up with friends because he never wanted me to go out in case they said something bad about him; I was dumped quite shortly afterwards and he was immediately going out with the former best friend. Me and the friend don't talk now, and I've had to block all his contact details because he sends me abusive **** if I don't.

    If you have some decorum about it that's cool (ask how friend feels, how long have they been together and split up for), but tbh the above just screwed me up. I'd never touch a friend's ex personally just because of my experience and I think it just changes friendships, but I don't think it's a rule.
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    Ex g/fs mates are off limits for me IMO
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    personally,I am a guy and to me, it will freak me out.....I cant comprehend looking into my girls eyes and realizing my friend had screwed her at some point....that will freak me out....so as a guy, its a big "no no"
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    OK, interesting answers. I guess it might also depend on how serious the relationship was. Like, in my example, we were only in Year 10/11, so we didn't have proper serious relationships then. But I guess if you were older and having sex and stuff I guess it would be a bit different.
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    Generally you don't take someone's leftovers.. If it's been a reasonable length relationship, few months at least.. They would have developped strong feelings for each other and in most cases when it ends it affects both of them.. Trying to forget about them is usually the best way to get over it, so for a friend to come in and date your ex, feelings and memories are gonna come back and it's not gonna do you any good at all.. If you're not too bothered about the breakup then you can let a friend 'have a go' so to speak.. As long as they ask first. Otherwise it's just ignorant of your feelings. That's my take anyway!
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    I know i've already posted about dating my friends ex, but after reading a few posts I thought i'd give a bit more info.

    I was with my ex from 14-17, we started having sex when I was 15. We didn't speak for a while because he cheated on me (with his step sister! - I like to put this bit in because i'm still a little bitter) but now we've very good friends and I've drunkenly attempted to get him and my best friend together. Seeing him with other girls (even my friends) doesn't bother me at all, I'd just like to see him happy.

    my other ex was 17-20, he ended it because he was a nobhead (ie, I have no idea why) and we're on speaking terms but don't speak much. I wouldn't mind if any of my friends wanted to get with him either, though I would make them perfectly aware of all his faults.
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    It depends. If it was my best friend's ex and she still had feelings for him, then it would be chicks before ***** (excuse my language :p: )
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    The reality is this: girlfriends/boyfriends go round your clique. And this is good.
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    If it wasn't a serious relationship and I was still on good terms with him then I'd be happy for my friend to get with my ex! But only if he wasn't a d!ck to me and there was definately no feelings still involved of course!

    I would appreciate being asked out of courtesy though that would be my only issue!

    I think it just depends on individual circumstances!
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    I dated my friend's ex and I'm dating someone my friend had a thing for.
 
 
 
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