ok i was reading the guy and girl friends thread and seem to get the impression most of the girls stick with the view that yes, a guy and girl can just be friends...
i just thought, the people you are friends with now, of the opposite sex, when you first got into the friendship, was there an ulterior motive ... i mean a lot of people say that in a friendship of two sexes, one will have liked the other at some point...
views?! (sorry if this has been done over and over ... i just read an article in cosmo and its got me thinking...)
my male friends tend to be ones i dont fancy, but i can talk to easly. The personality is there, but the attraction isnt.
No i dont think i did, well not in the case of the guy im thinking about atm. I did in the past feel attracted to several of my friends once, but that came after getting to know them. They more like crushs and more like falling in love with the idea of dating someone, not necessarly them.
However one did turn out into a relationship, it has to be one of the worse relationships ive ever been apart of. Was really wierd to be doing things with a friend, he wanted to stay friends but have the fruits of the relationship at the same time. I didnt feel comfy about it, but i did like him it was a battle i like this guy but hes a good mate, mates shouldnt be doing this and that. Well im not friends with him now, he did the dirty accross me and told loads of lies, throughout the length of our friendship which didnt make sense til right at the end. I had support from mine and his best mate(who is also male), i think our friend felt he had been taken a ride too about the lies and lost respect in the friend i had dated.
I have plenty of female friends who are just friends. I guess that I've never thought about most of them sexually. This is down to them being ugly or me knowing I don't have a chance I uess - all subconscious though.
I lately think they can actully
I have loads of boy mates that I would never consider dating...they're just mates! I think if you start a friendship in the hope that you will eventually date him, he probably wasn't ever just a 'friend' to start with, and so you'll maybe expect more and this is when the heartache happens!
I still like to think that a guy and a girl can just be friends, both my best friends are guys, but having taken a closer look, one is gay and the other admitted that he fancied me.
I had a guy friend who was a friend at first then he told me he fancied me and i was like "What?" and now we are kinda like back to friends.
I've got 3 close guy mates, and when I met them and became friends, none of us had ulterior motives. I've already spoken to one of them about it, and we've both said we'd never have feelings for the other coz we're just good mates and don't see each other in that way. One of them used to have a crush on me, which I only found out about a while ago, so getting back to friendship is kind of weird. The last really is just a friend, that's far too complicated to get in to...
I think being just friends is possible. just ordinary friends.
BUT i think when you become best friends, like really really close (where you tell them everything, and they know you aswell as they know themselves) then im not sure it is possible to not want more.
I have had 2 best friends who are guys, one i ended up dating for a while but it didnt work out. the other is still my best friend, but he has confessed to wanting more.
what i dont know is this: is it that becoming so close makes you/other person want more? OR is it that wanting more to begin with makes you/other person become so close?
x x x
I think there's a point when a guy and a girl are getting to know each other where boundaries are established and once you get past a certain point, you know it's just a friends thing. Whether this is subconscious or is in the form of text ("Wtz happnin wiv us coz I need 2 no???!!!!" kinda stuff) probably depends on how relaxed the people concerned are, or something.
Even if you have established that you are friends though, problems do occur. Hormones are frequently running wild (spoken like a true granny) and if you are close friends with someone then well...something more might happen. I have a few male friends who initially fancied me, but I kinda subtly didn't give out signals, and now we're fine as friends and they have girlfriends or whatever. None who I've initially fancied though, possibly because I sulk when I don't get what I want.
It has to be said though, that occasionally (admittedly rarely) there is a mutual attraction and initially being "just good friends" can be the start of a great relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend.