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If your life wasn't going to plan, would you consider suicide? watch

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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Anon or delete, please.

    If your life wasn't going the way you wanted, due to circumstances both in your control and out of your control, would you ever consider taking your own life?

    I can say, for the past two months or so, i am the unhappiest that i have ever been. Due to money troubles i stopped going to university. That has now escalated and i cannot go into university as am too far behind, and i am currently out of my depth trying to sort out money that i owe (i stupidly tried to ignore it for a while, however it has now escalated, so i am seeking advice from the citizens advice bureau, and national debt helpline etc.) It feels like an uphill struggle though. I want to move out of my current acommodation into something cheaper and get a full time job which i can work my way up in, however, i will need money for deposits. I can't ask my family for money, as i assume they think i am irresponsible with it - and i am really, but it's something im trying to remedy. These past two months have basically destroyed me. I've spent so much and gained so little. I've lost a chance to get a degree, i've destroyed my relationship with my remaining family who believed in me, and i'm now spending most of my waking hours worrying about money and how to pay back what i owe. In September, i felt so good about starting university, i was so sure it'd work out. It's funny how life twists and turns like that.

    I don't really know why i'm writing this, i don't expect sympathy, and i know life is hard sometimes. It's just nice to talk to someone, and hope that they might be listening.

    This isn't an attention seeking piece, i know that the title is dramatic, i didn't mean to imply i was on the verge of taking my own life. It's just, life seems to be an uphill struggle at the moment.

    Thanks for listening, i'm sorry that my post was very long.
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    Don't take your life I've considered it but it's the most selfish thing to do and you would have just ran away from your troubles making you look like a irresponsible little man.

    I've never had the trouble your going through but I would ask family not all the family just a close relative for some help.
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    Why not sign on if you're not in education anymore?
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    It isn't going to plan. So I guess not.
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    I wouldn't, no. Once upon a time, yes, but now I know that I'm 100% in control of my own life - anything 'not going to plan' would be my own fault.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thank you for your responses so far. Splodger - I have a rather small family, most who have helped me in the past i have let down, and the others are unwilling to help.

    Sabertooth - Techincally i haven't dropped out of university yet. I am looking for a job at the moment. I haven't reallyconsidered signing on.
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    Definitely , I was but not anymore.
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    No - we all have times we go through when we just think "Enough" - I'm only 18 so im sure I will experience alot worse ..but you just need to find a way to deal with it, whether it be God, Sport, Music - for me its all three.
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    Don't worry - things get better, trust me. It may feel like everything is on top of you right now, but there is more to life then any, any of this stuff you're talking about. You as a person are worthy of life, and you will make something worthwhile of yourself. It's hard to get yourself out of a mess when you're so deep into it, but work things out, set priorities, the things you see that are more improtant, try to find ways of fixing them/ making them easier to cope with. Find a support unit - be it friends, family, people online, suuround yourself with people who will give you a meaning to live, and people who will help you get through this. If you ever want to chat pm me, I'm all ears, even if only for a moan :P But, I stress this, don't make these circumsatnces make you consider taking your own life, you're far too important for that.
    Take care xxx
    • #2
    #2

    I think you should stop been so weakminded. Its only money, easy come, easy go.

    Atleast if you carry on you will be a stronger person and learnt your lesson about money, 2 months is nothing with your degree. Most of your degree is self taught anyway.

    It could be worse, you could have lost your virginity to someone who didnt care

    or just used you for sex

    or something bad like that.....
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    Don't commit suicide whatever you do. I know you're going through a hard time, everyone goes through these, but you will get through it and at the end you would of been on a hard journey and you'll be able to look back and learn from your mistakes. I've attempted suicide once and it wasn't pleasant. Put my family through so much and in the end I felt silly. Knew someone who killed themselves aswell and seeing the effects it has on people wasn't nice in the slightest. It's pretty selfish if you ask me. Hang in there and things will slowly improve. It's a learning path if anything. All the best
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete, please.

    If your life wasn't going the way you wanted, due to circumstances both in your control and out of your control, would you ever consider taking your own life?

    I can say, for the past two months or so, i am the unhappiest that i have ever been. Due to money troubles i stopped going to university. That has now escalated and i cannot go into university as am too far behind, and i am currently out of my depth trying to sort out money that i owe (i stupidly tried to ignore it for a while, however it has now escalated, so i am seeking advice from the citizens advice bureau, and national debt helpline etc.) It feels like an uphill struggle though. I want to move out of my current acommodation into something cheaper and get a full time job which i can work my way up in, however, i will need money for deposits. I can't ask my family for money, as i assume they think i am irresponsible with it - and i am really, but it's something im trying to remedy. These past two months have basically destroyed me. I've spent so much and gained so little. I've lost a chance to get a degree, i've destroyed my relationship with my remaining family who believed in me, and i'm now spending most of my waking hours worrying about money and how to pay back what i owe. In September, i felt so good about starting university, i was so sure it'd work out. It's funny how life twists and turns like that.

    I don't really know why i'm writing this, i don't expect sympathy, and i know life is hard sometimes. It's just nice to talk to someone, and hope that they might be listening.

    This isn't an attention seeking piece, i know that the title is dramatic, i didn't mean to imply i was on the verge of taking my own life. It's just, life seems to be an uphill struggle at the moment.

    Thanks for listening, i'm sorry that my post was very long.
    I have gone through depression and have considered suicide before, however I knew I would have found it hard to do that to my family and friends. I know that at one point, if I could have killed myself and made it look like it was an accident or someone else had done it then I would have (though I would have hoped they wouldn't get falsely accused). Anyway, there is another way. It's good that you're seeking out help from the advice bureau, but try and make a list of the positive things in your life. Try and focus on getting your relationship with your family back on track, as this alone will help you greatly.
    I wish you the best of luck. Please please don't consider suicide as an option. When you overcome this, you'll be glad you didn't.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Why not sign on if you're not in education anymore?
    Because life isn't all about sponging off others.
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    I wouldn't, no.

    My life hasn't exactly gone to plan, and there was a point where I was very low. But I wouldn't kill myself, for two main reasons. The first is that the mum of a friend of mine did that, and I've seen the effect it has on people. Secondly, and the main reason, is that you never know what's going to happen, and things could get better. Sure, they could get worse, but cheesy as it sounds, you never know what's around the corner. I'd rather experience that, even if it's just more rubbish, than not have the chance to find out whether it was good or not. There's a song by an Irish dude called Duke Special, and the song is called 'Something Might Happen'. It's not his best song, but the lyrics basically say exactly what I'm trying to explain

    It's not like I ever claimed to know
    What shadows were pressing on your soul
    It's just I wish you'd pause for breath
    And didn't have to go

    I saw you were spinning from the sky
    It burned in the corner of my eye
    I sat there frozen and in that moment
    You bid your soul goodbye

    I, I was only wondering
    If you would ever change your mind
    You could give it up but something might happen
    It's all too much but something might happen
    You'll break this cup but something might happen

    I know what it's like to feel alone
    To always be looking for your home
    To stand upon a riverbank
    Try to make your demons go

    I, I was only wondering
    If you could ever change your mind
    You could give it up but soemthing might happen
    It's all too much but something might happen
    You'll break this cup but something might happen

    (sorry, I tried to put the lyrics in spoiler tags to make the post shorter but I think I did it wrong so it didn't work!)

    It's a bit cheesy but they struck me as summing up exactly my feelings about this. It's written (I think) from the perspective of someone whose friend or relative or something has just killed themself. I might be wrong there though.
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    yeah, I have. I think a lot of people have.

    but, to put things in perspective your family bonds can't be easily broken, are easily recoverable and I imagine you're seeing the situation with them as worse than it is. It's never too late to get a degree and not having one doesn't mean you're doomed to minimum wage in a mind numbing job for the rest of your life. As for money, it's just money. Apply for any support you can and you'll soon get sorted.
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    yes. and i'm in no way proud of that fact.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Signe_x)
    Don't worry - things get better, trust me. It may feel like everything is on top of you right now, but there is more to life then any, any of this stuff you're talking about. You as a person are worthy of life, and you will make something worthwhile of yourself. It's hard to get yourself out of a mess when you're so deep into it, but work things out, set priorities, the things you see that are more improtant, try to find ways of fixing them/ making them easier to cope with. Find a support unit - be it friends, family, people online, suuround yourself with people who will give you a meaning to live, and people who will help you get through this. If you ever want to chat pm me, I'm all ears, even if only for a moan :P But, I stress this, don't make these circumsatnces make you consider taking your own life, you're far too important for that.
    Take care xxx
    Thank you so much for this message. It really helped, probably far more than you know or that i can stress over the internet. You're right, it is really hard to work your way out. I do realise money isn't the be all and end all, but it really enables you to do something with your life. Im trying to work through it now. I find it really difficult to chat to family members or friends. Whenever they ask me how i am i always say im fine as i don't want to disappoint them. They only learned of my money troubles recently, when one of my parents received a letter about how much i owe.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thank you everyone who has replied. I would respond to everyone personally, but i didn't realise so many people would respond. I'll try to get things into perspective and work through it. I know money isn't the be all and end all however it does enable people to achieve things in life. I suppose i was worried about not getting a degree and then being stuck in a dead end job working for minimum wage, so i am reassured that hopefully that won't happen.

    Thank you d123 for the song lyrics by Duke Special. It was comforting to hear, and i particularly liked the third verse.
    • #2
    #2

    why do you find it hard to talk to family members/friends ? its only a bit of money lol

    I think this is a major overreaction

    Go and get a student overdraft if its bad or a part time job.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you so much for this message. It really helped, probably far more than you know or that i can stress over the internet. You're right, it is really hard to work your way out. I do realise money isn't the be all and end all, but it really enables you to do something with your life. Im trying to work through it now. I find it really difficult to chat to family members or friends. Whenever they ask me how i am i always say im fine as i don't want to disappoint them. They only learned of my money troubles recently, when one of my parents received a letter about how much i owe.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    why do you find it hard to talk to family members/friends ? its only a bit of money lol

    I think this is a major overreaction

    Go and get a student overdraft if its bad or a part time job.
    I don't know about that. I'm £2000 in arrears for rent. My dad knows but refused to do anything (he told me before the beginning of term that he'd help me pay it as i only get minimum student loan, and all of it has gone on rent).

    I already have an overdraft, which is used for living expenses. I am looking for a part time job.
 
 
 
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