What is going on in his mind?

Anon or delete please.

So there's a guy at my college who I like alot. I got the idea that he liked me too as he was always making excuses to talk to me and I would always catch him looking at me in class. And he would also act obviously flirtatious and jokingly suggestive at times.

But then I find out he has a girlfriend. On facebook chat one day I hint to him that I would be interested in him if he was single. He then says to me that if he didn't have a girlfriend he would want to go out with me. For next few months I just feel depressed and hopeless at the fact that he's taken and that I cleary have no chance. I then one day, stupidly, let him know on msn that I really do like him. He responds by saying that there's no point in me liking him as he has an amazing girlfriend and so on. He says that he does not know what to say to me as he 'can't hurt his girlfriend'. I finally get the hint and try to move on with my life as I know I have no chance.

But then one day his friend (who is my friend also) tells me that he (guy I like) likes me alot and talks about he me the whole time. He says that if there was no way his girlfriend would find out about us two he would want to be with me. I ask the friend why he can tell his friends about it but not me. He says it's because he has a girlfriend. Next week at college I see things more clearly and it begins to make sense. So i think.

Then at the weekend I try to start a conversation with him over msn but he just acts really dry with me and doesn't hesitate to bring up his girlfriend and how great she is. This makes me upset as I'm only trying to be friendly. And this type of msn conversation is something that happens often which is why I'm confused (Others times he's very friendly and enthusiastic). And he'll be dry with me on msn (just like he has no interest in talking to me) and then next day I'll catch him staring at me the whole time in class.

The last couple of weeks i've just been leaving him alone and trying to avoid him as I don't really know what to do. I just like him alot.

Btw I'm definitely not trying to start an affair or anything, incase my post gives off that idea. I'm just confused.

Thanks.

Bump?

He obviously likes his G/f more than u. i think u should give him the silent treatment & make him jealous and just maybe he'll crawl back 2 u.

Reply 3

hay.hay

Maybe he does like you, but he loves his girlfriend so it is best to keep you at arms length.
You've made it clear you like him so it is probably just easier for him to not get too involved with you.

The talking excessively about his girlfriend is just a way of making sure you know how it is, without actually having to hurt your feelings. He shouldn't have even hinted that he may have been interested as this isn't really fair on anyone. Maybe he's realised that?

You should look at it in the way that if he ever finishes with her in the future and you do get together that it's completely guilt free, you weren't building to something behind his girlfriend's back and that he was loyal to her which is a quality you want in your boy.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

hay.hay

I wouldn't have thought that he would need to remind me of his girlfriend as when he told me about her I made it clear that I knew he had a girlfriend and respected that. And that I wasn't trying anything on with him. I'm pretty sure he undestood that.

Reply 5

generalebriety

Anonymous

Not everyone has the balance between 'honest' and 'subtle' completely right. Maybe he's just hammering the point home.

Reply 6

hay.hay

Anonymous

I know, but he may just be overcompensating.

If you respected the fact he had a girlfriend, you shouldn't have told him that you really liked him should you? Let's face it, as much as you say you weren't trying it on, you only told him with the hope that he would say he felt the same and ditched/cheated on his girlfriend with you.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

hay.hay

Actually, that's not true. At this point I thought I had no chance at all. I wasn't expecting anything. I just couldn't keep my feelings to myself. It was stupid, I know.

Also, the way that I told wouldn't have made it sound as if was expecting anything. It's hard to explain, but it didn't.

Reply 8

jumpingjesusholycow

HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON WOMAN.

Sheesh, and girls wonder why guys don't remain faithful enough.

Reply 9

hay.hay

Anonymous

I just don't understand why you would risk rejection and awkwardness when you don't want to gain anything. Maybe you honestly didn't want anything, but I'd still find it disrespectful of another girl to be telling my boyfriend how much she likes him when she knows he is with me.

You might have thought you made it clear and he hasn't gotten it? He could be acting like that because he feels guilty that he had a little flirt so now he's just exaggerating and making himself feel better by assuring he's told you how much he loves his girlfriend? We can only guess

I think the main point is that you should just carry on leaving him alone. Don't avoid him, but don't go out of your way to talk to him as he's only confusing you and you're the one losing out here. You'll meet someone else who is single :smile: