The Student Room Group

going from very close to just seeing each other

Hey guys,

well my girl friend, well ex kinda, just seeing each other now said this is what she wants now.

We have been together for 9 months, and im really upset about it..

you think i have a chance to get it back to boyfriend and girlfriend?

what does Seeing each other exactly mean? i havent been in that / this situation before..

please help

love a very upset Crunchie

xx

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Reply 1
seeing each other, probabily means a bit of fun now and then.. im not sure
Reply 2
sounds to me like she doesn't want the commitment..i.e be free to go off with other men.
i may be wrong, but i've been in that sitch before.
Reply 3
Fleece
sounds to me like she doesn't want the commitment..i.e be free to go off with other men.
i may be wrong, but i've been in that sitch before.


well she said that she doesnt want to be with otha guys or anything..

just wants to feel she can do what she wants with out having to answer to me...

she said we will still do things together..

im so gutted, i feeel that i have no hope, and the thing was, i actually loved her, n i still do!

Crunchie
Reply 4
Yeah...a guy said that to me about a year ago..we were together for a while and really close and then he said he just didn't want to be part of a couple, wanted to be free, felt too restrained.(even though i never restrained him in any way :-\)
some people will just get like this...and it's really tough on the one left behind.
But you have to consider this Crunchie - can you handle just doing things together? (whatever that may mean) Not getting the whole of her i mean.
I carried on doing just that, grabbing whatever moments i could with him, and it destroyed me in the end.
You deserve someone who wants to be with you completely.

x
Reply 5
Perhaps she wants an open relationship? This is what it sounds like when you say she doesn't want any commitment or be abswerable to you, but still wants to do things together.
Reply 6
Crunchie
Hey guys,

well my girl friend, well ex kinda, just seeing each other now said this is what she wants now.

We have been together for 9 months, and im really upset about it..

you think i have a chance to get it back to boyfriend and girlfriend?

what does Seeing each other exactly mean? i havent been in that / this situation before..

please help

love a very upset Crunchie

xx


How old are you? Are you both about to go off to uni/have some other life changing experience?
Reply 7
Fluffy
How old are you? Are you both about to go off to uni/have some other life changing experience?


hey,

we are both 19.

we met at are first year at uni together...

Crunch
Reply 8
Crunchie
hey,

we are both 19.

we met at are first year at uni together...

Crunch


May be that's the issue - she might want to have a bit of fun. Being in a relationship at Uni can get claustrophobic very quickly.

Try and talk it over with her, and if not, may be giving her the space she's asked for is a good idea - if you don't, you'll come across as clingy and suffocating...

It might well be that after a few good nights out with her mates she'll come straight back to you and to a more serious relationship. She might not.
Reply 9
Fluffy
May be that's the issue - she might want to have a bit of fun. Being in a relationship at Uni can get claustrophobic very quickly.

Try and talk it over with her, and if not, may be giving her the space she's asked for is a good idea - if you don't, you'll come across as clingy and suffocating...

It might well be that after a few good nights out with her mates she'll come straight back to you and to a more serious relationship. She might not.


yer, it was amazing at uni..

i just dont wanna lose her.. she now wants a month of no contact..gawd.. breaking my heart i tell you... in one evening, we gone from being all lovey, to wanting a trail break up... gawd..



Crunchie
Reply 10
sometimes people need to get things out of their system, have some "me time".. im sure she just wants some independance, if the love your share is worthwhile im sure she will be back soon.
Reply 11
Crunchie
yer, it was amazing at uni..

i just dont wanna lose her.. she now wants a month of no contact..gawd.. breaking my heart i tell you... in one evening, we gone from being all lovey, to wanting a trail break up... gawd..



Crunchie



Then let her know that you're thinking of her, and leave her to get on with it.

You could try sending her a few cards and letters in your 'month off' to let her know you're thinking of her. It's less invaisive than calling/pestering her/etc.
Reply 12
Fluffy
Then let her know that you're thinking of her, and leave her to get on with it.

You could try sending her a few cards and letters in your 'month off' to let her know you're thinking of her. It's less invaisive than calling/pestering her/etc.


well i said i dont really want a month off... i just wish she wud think of me for a bit..

Crunch
Reply 13
Crunchie
well i said i dont really want a month off... i just wish she wud think of me for a bit..

Crunch


Isn't that a bit of a selfish attitude? If you really loved her...
Reply 14
Fluffy
Isn't that a bit of a selfish attitude? If you really loved her...


you cud see it as selfish, but i do so much for are relationship.. n i realised i was alot deeper than she was..

i do love her, but i got to think of me abit, all the idea of splitting up hurts so much... i just want to b able to hold her close and love her and kno im loved... :frown:

so far it has all been her calling the shots, she wanted to calm things down alot, she said just now "chris, im not your girl friend any more", we are just seeing each otha now...

that is kinda harsh dont u think?

Crunchie
Reply 15
You cant force her to change her mind.. we girls are stuborn we dont like people telling us when we can and cant have a time out break aka calm patch.

Maybe its become too much for her, its like she was single and then she was in a full time relationship. When things get to much we tend to want to walk away instead of being sufercated. I know experience that can happen when a guy wants more than a girl is willing to give out.
Reply 16
Give her the space but let her now ur still there for her. I'm so sorry crunchie:frown:
Reply 17
oh yeah and one word of advice....DO NOT PLAY COLDPLAY! It just makes you worse.
Reply 18
I've been in a very similar situation a long time ago and I waited and waited for this guy to love me again, but really I was being used. Walk away now is the only thing I can say. It seems awful but believe me, its much worse when you have been waiting for months for more than just fun and then they move on. Its torture pretending to yourself that things may work out.
Reply 19
sarah1987
I've been in a very similar situation a long time ago and I waited and waited for this guy to love me again, but really I was being used. Walk away now is the only thing I can say. It seems awful but believe me, its much worse when you have been waiting for months for more than just fun and then they move on. Its torture pretending to yourself that things may work out.

:ditto: