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    My ex and I were together for a year and a half and broke up last month. We had a really messed up relationship towards the end and I keep getting uninvited and excluded from parties and other social gatherings simply because he's there. I've been given the tag of 'the ***** who messed him around', when in actual fact we both messed eachother around equally and there's no way there's some victim OR villian in this. I know it's a gradual thing, but I'm just really sick of being the one stuck at home when he's out partying and getting with other people. It seems like nothing he does can be 'bad'. He made out with a girl he didn't even know at a party a week after we split up, and everyone said it was fine because I was such a ***** to him anyway? But it was definitely equal and he's the one cutting contact, *****ing about me, getting with other people, leaving me horrible messages and never wanting to speak to me again. I got so stressed over this breakup, I've only just managed to stop myself ringing/messaging in the past week because I couldn't even believe it was happening and he could switch off his feelings like that.
    His friend said I had to 'earn back the respect of friends' if I wanted people to stop excluding me, but I don't understand how I'm the bad one and he's perfect? It's so frustrating.
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    I was in a similar situation four years ago. Our relationship ended relatively well really and all was okay for around 3 weeks. I then got another girlfriend and all of a sudden my ex turned and became... well a *****. We shared the same friend circles and she started to spread some pretty bad rumors about me, that I cheated on her, that I owed her money etc. Soon after I stopped getting invited and it pissed me off. My friend was telling me about these things but when i went everyone was hostile, after a while I just went anyway stuck with the people who didn't believe her and well i think the saying is "the truth with out" and it did... For some reason some of the friends still are hostile towards me, but now most the time its fine and for the most part (as I am now at uni) i have made new friends and moved on...

    Its a hard situation to be in, but as long as you have 2 or 3 close friends there that you can hang out with then go anyway, and try not to let it get to you. Failing that try and make some new friends (more long term...). Sorry I haven't been much help but it really is a hard situation to be in.
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    (Original post by Seeks)
    I was in a similar situation four years ago. Our relationship ended relatively well really and all was okay for around 3 weeks. I then got another girlfriend and all of a sudden my ex turned and became... well a *****. We shared the same friend circles and she started to spread some pretty bad rumors about me, that I cheated on her, that I owed her money etc. Soon after I stopped getting invited and it pissed me off. My friend was telling me about these things but when i went everyone was hostile, after a while I just went anyway stuck with the people who didn't believe her and well i think the saying is "the truth with out" and it did... For some reason some of the friends still are hostile towards me, but now most the time its fine and for the most part (as I am now at uni) i have made new friends and moved on...

    Its a hard situation to be in, but as long as you have 2 or 3 close friends there that you can hang out with then go anyway, and try not to let it get to you. Failing that try and make some new friends (more long term...). Sorry I haven't been much help but it really is a hard situation to be in.
    It's not even like I'm invited. The party last weekend I was originally invited to and then the guy told me it was cancelled, and then it turns out that actually he just wanted to get with someone at that party and didn't want me there because he 'knew i'd make a fuss', so at his request I was effectively uninvited to that party. And then there's one tomorrow, and I was never even invited to that and when asked why, the guy told me 'because Toby's going and you messed him up and he's still angry, it'd be awkward with you two both there' and then continued to say how bad I was and how angry my ex remains :/
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    I think maybe you have to give it time then, and wait for it to go away. The problem with parties is that you do need to be invited. while going out you can just turn up...
 
 
 
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