Anon because they use TSR.
I have 4 close friends whom I've known since I was tiny. Our parents are also great friends who knew each other long before any of us were born and as a result we spend xmas and new year together, always round each others houses, spend every day together.
About this time last year, I decided to accept an offer from a uni at the other end of the country whilst the others had already decided to go to the local uni. My reasons for choosing my uni over the local one are numerous starting with the fact that the latter doesn't even do my course. I also wanted to go further afield and I loved the place and the course.
My decision caused a certain amount of coolness between us; they seemed to think that I somehow thought I was too good for the local uni - which I don't at all, it just doesn't offer my ******* course! I attempted to explain to them that I really liked the look of the course I had chosen and the place and they came back with comments like "why do you want to do Classics, it's irrelevant etc." which didn't bother me too much because tbh, I've had remarks like that from my teachers too. But it kills conversation and I stopped bothering to talk to them about it.
Anyway for the rest of the year I felt kind of left out because they were talking about their uni next year and I wasn't really a part of that (they weren't being mean, it just happens like that sometimes). I also got these awkward questions and remarks from our families: we were at a restaurant and one of their mothers said something like "I've heard their all snobs in _" - which I know is a stupid comment and frankly not true but it still hurt me because as I said I would consider to be family and it's not a particularly considerate thing to say to someone who's going away from home for the first time and is probably nervous. Anyway, everyone laughed and I got more comments like that over the course of the evening.
I got a job abroad for the summer and went straight onto uni so I hardly saw them or my family. My uni was the best decision I ever made, I love the place, my course, my new friends, everything. But I feel that I'm slowly being phased out of the group. I've realised that I actually have so little in common with them it's unbelievable I was such good friends with them. I've suddenly become the silent one who never has anything to say. I never feel comfortable with them anymore though we used to be like sisters. And it's become the same with my family. We're always together and I sit in silence, not being included in the conversation because I've been absent for the last 5 months. I doubt my parents even know anything about my course or what it involves - they just aren't interested. My mum cornered me at Christmas and said that I was being really moody and rude - which I was but that was because I was pretty much being ignored. I really feel that I've done my best and there's nothing else I can do.
It's all come to a head now, I called home about 15 minutes ago because I'm stressing about a piece of work and they just treated it like it was no big deal and said "well you insisted on going there, we're going out" - not for the first time either.
I don't want to go home at Easter, I just want to stay here.
x Turn on thread page Beta
Growing apart from friends and family - long watch
- Thread Starter
- 13-02-2010 18:10
- 26-08-2010 20:10
I've been growing apart from my family for years now, I have nothing in common with any of my relations at home. It's much the same with my friends, they don't invite me anymore.
At least you've got a sanctuary to go to - I'm stuck here a while yet.
- 26-08-2010 21:53
I think you liked having all the attention on you & now that you're not as involved in the picture, you don't like it. They are getting on with their lives (after probably feeling a tad rejected at you moving away), so you need to do the same.