Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

age gap relationship worrying me watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I am in my early twenties and completely independent (have finished uni and landed a great job). my partner is 44 (looks about 35 though and very fit - as in healthy). I suppose normally this wouldn't be a problem but I am from an indian background and he isn't.
    He has children from his previous marriage who live with him. My problem is I dont know how to approach my family about this situation, they will completely be against it. I'd prefer for them to accept it and move on but I know I might be faced with a situation where I may never be able to speak to them again. This is a very serious relationship as we are planning to marry. I have come to terms with the fact that he probably will die a long time before me , alongside other implications, but want to see if anyone has been in a similar situation as me and what advice they can give if any. My partner has said I am probably making the wrong decision by being with him, but I see him as a soulmate. Please don't post if you don't have any useful advice.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Your partner thinks the relationship is a mistake? I can really see this lasting long...
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Reue)
    Your partner thinks the relationship is a mistake? I can really see this lasting long...
    Not scince hell be dead before your 40.
    Im a bad person.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    No, he doesn't but we have discussed this very lengthily.. he says, from my parents perspective , 'they will think you are walking toward a precipice' and that logically by being with him, it would seem a wrong decision from my parents angle. Please don't post if you don't have any advice.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by littleonenice)
    Please don't post if you don't have any advice.
    And please dont make threads on a public forum if you cant handle people replying who are against your views. My advice: Find someone your own age
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Its not about views, and I've found someone I love and who loves me(my partner above), so that's not my problem. I'm asking for advice from someone in a similar situation. Read the post ..You clearly aren't so keep your views to yourself.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by GottaLovePhysics! :))
    Not scince hell be dead before your 40.
    Im a bad person.
    This isn't Swaziland.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by littleonenice)
    Its not about views, and I've found someone I love and who loves me(my partner above), so that's not my problem. I'm asking for advice for someone in a similar situation. You clearly aren't so keep your views to yourself.
    Once again; you're on a public forum. I'm free to express my views if I wish. And I am trying to give you valid advice. Find someone who isnt twice your age.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Reue)
    Once again; you're on a public forum. I'm free to express my views if I wish. And I am trying to give you valid advice. Find someone who isnt twice your age.
    Your advice is not valid because it's not addressing her question (how to tell her parents about her relationship).

    It's about as valid as me advising her to dye her hair.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Pink Bullets)
    This isn't Swaziland.
    Well, lets just hope hes not a smoker, ey?
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Pink Bullets)
    Your advice is not valid because it's not addressing her question (how to tell her parents about her relationship).

    It's about as valid as me advising her to dye her hair.
    My advice is saving her the inevitable life destroying situation of trying to justify such a relationship to her parentals.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Ok, given I have decided to be with this person (whether its life destroying or not..I have made my choice) how do I tell my parents.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by littleonenice)
    Ok, given I have decided to be with this person (whether its life destroying or not..I have made my choice) how do I tell my parents.
    You just... tell them. Clearly your mind is made up and their opinions will have no effect on you, what are you worried about. I very much doubt they are ever going to accept a relationship with such a massive age gap and thus you have nothing to lose.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    He's not a smoker.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Is it just the age gap you are worried about or the fact that your partner isnt from an indian background?. Would your parents be more accepting if he was your age and from a similar background?.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Reue,

    I know I can do that, but its..easier said than done. This is why I need some advice from someone who has gone through similar experiences and I need to know what has happened with them. Did their parents accept and move on? It's going to be life changing but to what extent?
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Annie72,

    I'm not sure but they would still try to discourage me I suppose. In my case the age gap would play a bigger role than the fact that he is non indian.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    But if you have to tell your folks, just do it, there's no easy way to tell your parents your dating someone the same age as them.

    Why do people on TSR always assume that everybody's parents had them when they were 20ish!? :rofl:
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Yes true, my parents were 40 when I was born..
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by backdraft)
    just people on TSR?

    Ask... and see. I'd be surprised if they aren't between 45-55.
    Yes, pretty much.

    In real life, I've never had anyone assume that my parents are only 20 years older than me. :confused:
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 14, 2010
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.