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age gap relationship worrying me watch

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    When I was 22 my parents were in their 50s.
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    (Original post by Annie72)
    When I was 22 my parents were in their 50s.
    So? :confused:

    I'm 19 and my father is 57.
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    (Original post by MrHappy_J)
    So? http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...s/confused.gif

    I'm 19 and my father is 57.
    I'm 18 and My mum is 54. My Sister is 26 though. I'm the youngest child.
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    BD,

    As a sideline to your post I just wanted to add this comment.

    As I had said in my post, my partner and I have discussed our situation lengthily. Our decision to be together wasn't taken lightly. I have prepared myself mentally for all eventualities of our future. But like smoking, this is a choice and I am aware the odds are stacked against us. However, I'm more prepared to spend 20/30 years with someone who I am completely happy with than to spend a lifetime with someone who is too young for me mentally ( I have dated younger men but I just don't find them suitable). This is because I am very mature for my age and that's why it works between us. And I'd like to think that even though he is old, he (my parter) will still age mentally and with experience.

    My parents see the opposite and that is why I really need advice from someone in a situation similar to me. I know I am not the only one in this situation.
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    (Original post by littleonenice)
    Reue,

    I know I can do that, but its..easier said than done. This is why I need some advice from someone who has gone through similar experiences and I need to know what has happened with them. Did their parents accept and move on? It's going to be life changing but to what extent?
    My father is more than twice the age of my mum and even though they have been together for over 20 years their whole relationship is a disaster as my mum cheated at some point (obviously seeing as she's much younger, I honestly dont know what shes was thinking getting with an old man). Perhaps my opinion is immature and biased seeing as I'm completely disgusted being the offspring of an old man and some naive woman, just dont have any children if you plan to marry this man, please, it's disgusting.
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    Anon,

    Ok, I'm sorry you didn't have a good experience. How old was your mum when she got with your father?
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    (Original post by littleonenice)
    Ok, given I have decided to be with this person (whether its life destroying or not..I have made my choice) how do I tell my parents.
    You just have to tactfully tell them and pray that they accept it. If they simply cannot be persuaded, then i guess you've got a difficult choice to make between your partner and your family. You sound like you've pretty much made your decision anyway. Good luck
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    [/QUOTE] Worst case scenerio, and if they are extremely old-fashion, as I expect they are, consider emotional manipulation to get them in the right mood. Ask them about how they came to love each other and if they believe they are "soulmates." Ask them HOW they know they are "soulmates," and if they ever question it, how certain are they? If they are still strongly in love with each other, then great. You need to get them extremely emotional and nostalgic of their early romance.[/QUOTE]

    My parents would never fall for that!!
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    Worst case scenerio, and if they are extremely old-fashion, as I expect they are, consider emotional manipulation to get them in the right mood. Ask them about how they came to love each other and if they believe they are "soulmates." Ask them HOW they know they are "soulmates," and if they ever question it, how certain are they? If they are still strongly in love with each other, then great. You need to get them extremely emotional and nostalgic of their early romance.[/QUOTE]

    My parents would never fall for that!! [/QUOTE]

    Haha, it's not some trick, it's emotional reasoning. Rationally, one would dismiss the relationship due to the age difference. You get them to consider it from an emotional perspective, an experience like their own, and the logic is diluted by the sentimental aspect...
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    (Original post by backdraft)
    Worst case scenerio, and if they are extremely old-fashion, as I expect they are, consider emotional manipulation to get them in the right mood. Ask them about how they came to love each other and if they believe they are "soulmates." Ask them HOW they know they are "soulmates," and if they ever question it, how certain are they? If they are still strongly in love with each other, then great. You need to get them extremely emotional and nostalgic of their early romance.
    My parents would never fall for that!! [/QUOTE]

    Haha, it's not some trick, it's emotional reasoning. Rationally, one would dismiss the relationship due to the age difference. You get them to consider it from an emotional perspective, an experience like their own, and the logic is diluted by the sentimental aspect...[/QUOTE]

    Beautifully phrased..
    Its a good job you've never met my parents but i know what you mean...
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    I'm 18 and My mum is 54. My Sister is 26 though. I'm the youngest child.
    Im 19 and my mum is 51! But my oldest sister is 32!
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    (Original post by littleonenice)
    I am in my early twenties and completely independent (have finished uni and landed a great job). my partner is 44 (looks about 35 though and very fit - as in healthy). I suppose normally this wouldn't be a problem but I am from an indian background and he isn't.
    He has children from his previous marriage who live with him. My problem is I dont know how to approach my family about this situation, they will completely be against it. I'd prefer for them to accept it and move on but I know I might be faced with a situation where I may never be able to speak to them again. This is a very serious relationship as we are planning to marry. I have come to terms with the fact that he probably will die a long time before me , alongside other implications, but want to see if anyone has been in a similar situation as me and what advice they can give if any. My partner has said I am probably making the wrong decision by being with him, but I see him as a soulmate. Please don't post if you don't have any useful advice.
    You sound nice, little one.

    Tbh there is no 'easy' way. You should just come out with it. Tell them the reason why you haven't told them earlier was become you knew they'd be against it and you wanted to see how far this relationship could blossom. Just be ready to be disowned (worst case scenario) but as you said you have already made that choice: your partner comes first. Make it clear to them too that this is a non-negotiable point, you WILL stay with him regardless of their consent. Good luck!
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    I think it would be problem to your parents, not only because he is not indian but also because he is soo old- old enough to be your dad! But then...thats love!
    I personally think love is the most important thing and if you're prepared to be alone for the last part of your life then go for it.

    Im not in a similiar situation.... but my dad is! lol
    My mom and dad are both 47, and im 17.
    My dad is married to another woman now (arranged in India) who is 27! I find it so siickk coz shes only 10 yrs older than me and again, young enough to be is daughter! But they already have a 3yr old baby and another one coming! So, i guess u can still have children with your partner when u marry too!
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    Thanks for everyone's comments, I have more clarity on what the next steps I should take. And as you mentioned, I am the only one who can judge how to deal with my parents' reaction. My parents had an arranged wedding as well (i.e. introduction and a few dates). My mother views love as an excuse to do crazy nonsense. I need a logical way to try to convince/help them accept it. Thanks everyone for your responses and help , I very much appreciate it
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    (Original post by Pink Bullets)
    Your advice is not valid because it's not addressing her question (how to tell her parents about her relationship).

    It's about as valid as me advising her to dye her hair.
    I actually think thats quite a good idea though :s
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    (Original post by DisgruntledMoth)
    18 and my dad is 70 this year. Oldest child of two.

    But that's all beside the point - OP, you still have your youth, and time to decide what you want. Just play this situation out by ear, but as Reue said, if the person you're in a relationship with has his own doubts, then perhaps you're not in it for the long term.
    Your parents had you guys late.
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    (Original post by littleonenice)
    Thanks for everyone's comments, I have more clarity on what the next steps I should take. And as you mentioned, I am the only one who can judge how to deal with my parents' reaction. My parents had an arranged wedding as well (i.e. introduction and a few dates). My mother views love as an excuse to do crazy nonsense. I need a logical way to try to convince/help them accept it. Thanks everyone for your responses and help , I very much appreciate it
    Were your parents expecting you to have an arranged marriage? I assume not judging by your age, in which case you are free to choose who you wish to have a relationship with. You don't need to tell them his age. Let them meet him first, they may be won over! Also don't introduce him as the man you want to marry. That may come as too much of a shock if they don't even know you're going out with someone.
    Good luck.
 
 
 
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