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    I really like this girl. We're really good friends, and have spent lots of one-on-one time together. I've already asked her out once, but she said she wasn't ready for a relationship and didn't want a boyfriend. She said she was afraid of being hurt, and afraid of hurting the guy.

    I left it a couple of months, found out that she knew I still liked her from one of her friends, and so decided to write her a letter, explaining how I felt, and why she shouldnt be afraid of being in a relationship.

    A few days ago we met up and had a chat about this and tried to work it out. She said she was really afraid of being hurt again. Although she's never had a boyfriend or kissed a guy before, there was this guy who she was in love with a couple of years ago, and he misled her into thinking he liked her back, which he didnt. And that really hurt her. She says she's afraid that if she goes into a relationship, it will all end badly.

    She said that "I'm afraid that if I go into a relationship with you, when I'm not IN LOVE with you, then I might never fall in love with you and only end up hurting you". I tried to tell her that she doesn't have to be head over heels in love with someone to start a relationship. (Maybe I'm wrong but her choice of words ie "LOVE", in my opinion, suggest that she does have feelings for me, but that she's not in love with me)

    She said she had told some of her friends about the whole situation, and even shown some of them the letter, and that they all said she should just give it a go. (Maybe I'm wrong, but if they knew she only only saw me as a friend, and nothing more, then would they really give her that advice?)

    She said she was thinking one night after she got the letter that maybe she should just give it a shot, but then the next morning she thought 'no, no, it will only end in pain'. She even told me that her brain says she should give it a shot, but her heart is too afraid to.

    I'm about to go on holiday, and she wants to have another talk when I get back. I guess my question is: do YOU think I have a chance? And what else can I do to assure her that she won't get hurt?

    and HOW DO YOU THINK I SHOULD ACT DURING THE TWO WEEKS WE'RE APART? Should I at all bring up the "issue"? Or should that wait until I return? Should I call her/text her at all? Or should I just do nothing until I return? On the one hand I don't want her to think that I'm avoiding her which she might if I don't text/call, but on the other hand I don't want her to think I'm hassling her- which she might if I do text/call her...
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    I think you should keep in contact with her while you are away because if she doesn't hear from you for the whole two weeks, she might feel like you have just lost interest and that's bound to make her feel worse about herself. You won't be hassling her unless you call or text her non-stop. I'm sure she would rather hear from you than not at all. Maybe bring up the issue while you are away, discuss it with her, and hopefully by the time you get back, she will have decided whether she wants to be with you or not.
    Good luck
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    She needs to figure out what she wants and you cant pressure her into anything, just take things slowly, tell her it doesnt need to be anything serious, just maybe a date or two to see how you get along, bowling or a trip to the cinema.
    As for the two weeks your apart dont text her every minute of the day but a text every couple of days, just asking how she is and how your holiday is going, if she takes theconversation then just go with it,
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    She doesn't want you. If she did, she'd trust you and be all over you. Move on.
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    (Original post by samba)
    She doesn't want you. If she did, she'd trust you and be all over you. Move on.
    and she doesnt want to lose your friendship.
 
 
 
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