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    My best friend is a guy. We're incredibly close and know each other pretty much inside out.

    I used to really like him, up until about 6 months ago, when my feelings kind of subsided and I was finally happy being just friends.

    However, we went clubbing on Thursday night, and he started getting it on with another girl. About two months ago, he almost started something up with a friend of ours.

    He's never in anyway led me to believe he likes me, by the way, though he knows I used to have feelinsg beyond friendship for him.

    The thing is, as much as I don't want him to be my boyfriend or anything, it, for some reason, really, really hurts me to see him with other girls. I'm finding it really difficult because I don't want to lose him as a friend, and I'm pretty sure I don't have romantic feelings for him - so I can't figure out why it hurts so much?

    Is this normal? Why do I feel like this, and is there anything I can do to kind of stop feeling like it?

    I would talk to him about it, but I always feel like he gets uncomfortable when I talk about me liking him. In fact, it's the one topic we've never really discussed in any detail, because I think he's worried about making things weird.
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    you must know deep down that if he gets a girlfriend it could cause problems for your friendship if you're very close, maybe you're worrying about it. Do you get that sick nervous feeling?
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    (Original post by death.drop)
    you must know deep down that if he gets a girlfriend it could cause problems for your friendship if you're very close, maybe you're worrying about it. Do you get that sick nervous feeling?

    Yeah I do. It makes me feel all sad inside

    And that's probably a good explanation.... like I guess I'm worried if he has a girlfriend, he'll want to spend time with her instead of me.
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    http://caughtinthemiddleman.files.wo...eremy-kyle.jpg

    jealous you don't have his attention? :holmes:
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    OP, I know how you feel - I just try and let it go, as making any kind of fuss would just upset him and stop him being happy, which at the end of the day is what I want. Distraction works wonders.
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    (Original post by Rosie0914)
    Yeah I do. It makes me feel all sad inside

    And that's probably a good explanation.... like I guess I'm worried if he has a girlfriend, he'll want to spend time with her instead of me.
    I know how you feel hun, I am in exactly the same situation :hugs:
    For me at least a lot of it is a time-related thing, he values his girlfriend over me and I used to like him; even though I don't have romantic feelings for him any more it's weird hearing him talk about her.
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    guys and girls shouldn't be close friends, unless both are ugly.
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    (Original post by Rosie0914)
    My best friend is a guy. We're incredibly close and know each other pretty much inside out.

    I used to really like him, up until about 6 months ago, when my feelings kind of subsided and I was finally happy being just friends.

    However, we went clubbing on Thursday night, and he started getting it on with another girl. About two months ago, he almost started something up with a friend of ours.

    He's never in anyway led me to believe he likes me, by the way, though he knows I used to have feelinsg beyond friendship for him.

    The thing is, as much as I don't want him to be my boyfriend or anything, it, for some reason, really, really hurts me to see him with other girls. I'm finding it really difficult because I don't want to lose him as a friend, and I'm pretty sure I don't have romantic feelings for him - so I can't figure out why it hurts so much?

    Is this normal? Why do I feel like this, and is there anything I can do to kind of stop feeling like it?

    I would talk to him about it, but I always feel like he gets uncomfortable when I talk about me liking him. In fact, it's the one topic we've never really discussed in any detail, because I think he's worried about making things weird.
    ahhhhhh this is the worst!
    have you said anything to him?
    i had a thing like this with my best friend and then one of his friends called me one night and was like !he really likes you, his girlfriend is such a **** to him. please just tell him and be with him"
    and we stopped talking
    sooo thats not the best idea
    its really difficult cos you dont wanna mess up being friends
    talk to him about it one time? thats the only thing you can really do.
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    Deep down you still having feelings for him.
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    OP, I know how you feel. I have the same problem xD My best friend is a guy too and I don't have romantic feelings for him. But when he has a gf, it makes me feel really uncomfortable. And I guess it's normal, although really annoying...:rolleyes: But if you secretly still have feelings for him, it will ruin your friendship. So you have to be honest with yourself
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    awww that feeling can be so horrid i know how you feel , i had this really bad crush on this boy last year i saw him and the feelings just came back.
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    I think it could just be a kind of platonic possessiveness. It can happen between same-sex friends but probably more often with the opposite gender due to the fact that a partner offers a threat to the bond.

    I certainly don't think it definitely means you like him.
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    I think you're worried you won't be his number one girl anymore. Even if it's just platonic between you and that's all you want, a girlfriend would be a threat to your 'best friend' status. That, or you're not as over him as you thought. You often don't realise things like this until something challenges them.
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    (Original post by Quail)
    I think you're worried you won't be his number one girl anymore. Even if it's just platonic between you and that's all you want, a girlfriend would be a threat to your 'best friend' status. That, or you're not as over him as you thought. You often don't realise things like this until something challenges them.

    Yeah I think you guys are all probably right.... I just don't want a girlfriend compromising my time with him or something, I won't be the first person he comes to when he wants company, which would be a bit upsetting for a while, I think

    Hopefully, though, I'll get over it after a while and get used to it.

    Also - when done for applying for Linguistics - an excellent course choice
 
 
 
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