Feeling inadequate compared to friends...

Basically I have always felt like I am in the shadow of my close friends who I socialise with alot. They are absolutely stunning - tall, blonde, size 6/8, beautiful etc. Being shorter, brunette and size 8/10, I do feel ignored or that guys are settling for second best if they have to talk to me.

I always make somesort of effort with appearance - I think I dress nicely and am friendly, willing to talk to anyone/have a laugh. And although i'm not extremely outgoing I have grown in confidence the past year. Yet they get guys just pointing at them or saying hello to them randomly in the streets, and few nights ago a mutual friend was saying how beautiful my friend was, and that although I am too, he not-so-subtly pointed out I was "not girlfriend material". What is "girlfriend material" exactly?

I know I probably need to stop comparing myself, but it's really difficult. Don't get me wrong I love my friends to pieces and spending time with them, but am just sorta stuck in a cycle here. Sounds pathetic but it feels like I'm always the last resort and am destined to be alone forever.... What can I do or change?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Don't worry about what people think! People don't always judge on looks, I know I certainly don't, after the majority of girls I find attractive, its based more on personality than looks.
Frankly, I'd not want to be taken on face value, because what I look like isn't me! So don't worry about it, you're probably beautiful inside :smile:

Reply 2

a daedalus

In clubs and stuff guys tend to be v judgmental on looks ... kinda cruel in a sense but when half the reason you do it is to compete with other guys it becomes important
on the other hand in long-term situations i.e. school / uni / work i think who you are and why is more important. there is no such thing as "girlfriend material" in terms of looks only in terms of style; beat your friends by being funner to hang out with, wittier, more interesting, better dressed... also just try not to think about what you look like; the more insecure you look the worse it reflects on you.

no-one's destined to be alone forever!

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 3

Firecrackerchild

My best friend is stunning. There is no other way of putting it, and I always feel really fat next to here. And short.... I'm actually quite tall!

But you just have to remember that
a) size 8/10 is fine. In fact it may be more healthy
b) make more friends, this way you shouldn't feel the need to compare yourself.
c) you will find someone who loves you the way you are.
finally, its personality that counts

hope it helps! :smile:

Reply 4

a daedalus