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I'm unfashionable, ugly, androgynous and I don't know how to change. watch

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    Hi, this is my first post, I thought maybe some people might be able to help me here. I apologise for length/ramblyness and generally patheticism. I'm not sure if this should go in fashion or in relationships so I'm sorry if this is the wrong place.

    I'm a 22 year old girl, studying at university and I'm extremely unhappy with my appearance and how I come across to people. It all comes down to the fact that I don't know how to dress, I don't know how to put make up on (though I have very sensitive skin so I would probably be allergic to it), I don't even really know how to act and make friends.

    I'm 5ft11, size 14 on top and 12 on bottom (used to be a 10 on bottom but recently have been on medication which made me put on weight), green eyes, brown hair and I have no idea what to wear to make me look good. I have 2 brothers who I used to be around all the time growing up, I've never really had a female friend so I don't know how I'm meant to act or do or anything.

    Does anyone have any tips they can give me? Right now I wear skate jeans, hoodys and trainers. I have tried buying new clothes from high street stores like dorethy perkins, new look, topshop etc and trying to look like every other girl but I haven't had much luck, I never know what suits me or what other people think of it. Recently there was a superdry sale on, I spent about an hour looking at their clothes thinking how nice they looked on the models, but in the end I just cried because I know anything slightly baggy or boyish (like lumberjack shirts which seem to be in now) will make me look male, I don't really have a very feminine face. I would spend £300 on a jacket if it looked as nice on me as they did on those superdry models. The reason I wear what I do now is because it's easier to deal with people thinking I'm a lesbian or a feminine looking guy than it is for them to think I'm a cross-dresser or a mtf trans. It doesn't seem to matter what clothes I buy or how much I spend I never get it right and always look ridiculous.

    In addition to these problems, I have size 12 feet, so I can't buy nice shoes like every other girl in the world, hence the trainers.


    I'm sorry about the length and the whining, I would just desperately like some help and I was hoping someone here would be able to give it to me. Anything will do, even minor things, I just want to know what to do.


    tl;dr version, I can't find clothes that look nice on me and it upsets me.
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    Make more of an effort to make girl friends and go shopping with them.
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    http://gok.channel4.com/

    Works for me.

    EDIT: I also have the shoe problem, I'm a size 9 though - I tend to JUST find shoes that fit in Shoe Zone/New Look but Brantano is a safe bet for big sizes.
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    1. You have green eyes - did you know that only 2% of the world's population does? That makes your eyes special - cherish them!

    2. Do you really want to look like everyone else? Try and pick and choose items that you like, that you think look good on you and which make you feel good. (do you have a sister/mum/best friend who is a bit more shopping savvy would could take you shopping?)

    3. Have you looked on eBay/online/in Evans for shoes? My friend has a similar problem with finding pretty shoes but she's recently found some really cute ones from Evans!

    4. Make up - I was just like you! I had no clue about how to put make up on at all! I only ever really wore mascara. I decided enough was enough and went to the Body Shop and had a make up consultation - it was brilliant! The assistant was super and showed me techniques of putting make up on aswell as different products and assessed what was suitable for me. I really recommend it. I felt a bit silly at first but go when the shop is quiet and you'll feel less awkward!)

    5. How is your diet/exericise? - don't take this the wrong way, I'm not commenting on your size (which is perfectly normal and healthy, btw) but if you're not eating the right things or doing any exercise, this could be contributing to feeling bad about yourself. Try and evaluate how you spend your time and do things that contribute to a healthy body image.

    6. You didn't mention your hair - is this because it's good? If it is - love it! The key to body confidence (in my experience) is looking at the things you like/don't mind about yourself and focusing on those, ignoring the things you don't like. Everyone has body hang ups!

    Ultimately, it won't be like this forever! Trust me, I was once in your shoes and now I am more confident in myself than I ever dreamed possible! :hugs: xxx
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    You need to consider more than just your size,, make sure yo uare awar of your body shape i.e. hour glass, pear, apple etc.

    From there, you can get loads of advice on what types of clothes will flatter you.

    Also, start small and work your way up. I can imagine it would make you horribly uncomfortable to go from hoodies to dresses, for example.

    Good Luck x
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    tailored suits :P
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    (Original post by blinkbelle)
    1. You have green eyes - did you know that only 2% of the world's population does? That makes your eyes special - cherish them!

    2. Do you really want to look like everyone else? Try and pick and choose items that you like, that you think look good on you and which make you feel good. (do you have a sister/mum/best friend who is a bit more shopping savvy would could take you shopping?)

    3. Have you looked on eBay/online/in Evans for shoes? My friend has a similar problem with finding pretty shoes but she's recently found some really cute ones from Evans!

    4. Make up - I was just like you! I had no clue about how to put make up on at all! I only ever really wore mascara. I decided enough was enough and went to the Body Shop and had a make up consultation - it was brilliant! The assistant was super and showed me techniques of putting make up on aswell as different products and assessed what was suitable for me. I really recommend it. I felt a bit silly at first but go when the shop is quiet and you'll feel less awkward!)

    5. How is your diet/exericise? - don't take this the wrong way, I'm not commenting on your size (which is perfectly normal and healthy, btw) but if you're not eating the right things or doing any exercise, this could be contributing to feeling bad about yourself. Try and evaluate how you spend your time and do things that contribute to a healthy body image.

    6. You didn't mention your hair - is this because it's good? If it is - love it! The key to body confidence (in my experience) is looking at the things you like/don't mind about yourself and focusing on those, ignoring the things you don't like. Everyone has body hang ups!

    Ultimately, it won't be like this forever! Trust me, I was once in your shoes and now I am more confident in myself than I ever dreamed possible! :hugs: xxx
    This, exactly this. It's like an eloquent version of what I was thinking
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    (Original post by groovyhaz)
    This, exactly this. It's like an eloquent version of what I was thinking
    thanks! xx
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    Start experimenting slowly, to see what you like and what you don't. Why not stay in jeans for now, but wear skinny or straight-leg, not baggy ones, and pair with some pretty tops instead of hoodies? Even a vest top and long cardi with a necklace will look more feminine than a hoody. In the same way, you could try just a tiny bit of makeup, like a little bit of mascara or some lip gloss or something. And if you feel too masculine, maybe go and talk to your hairdresser about changing your hairstyle, perhaps growing it a bit longer and keeping it in good condition. That alone can make a huge difference to how you look, and can make you look feminine regardless of what you're wearing. Above all, have fun! Don't try to look a different way because you feel you ought to - try experimenting with your look slowly, and have fun trying different things! Keep an eye on what other girls/young women around you are wearing - just people on the street or the bus, or around campus - that will give you ideas about what you think looks nice, and what suits different people.
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    (Original post by blinkbelle)
    1. You have green eyes - did you know that only 2% of the world's population does? That makes your eyes special - cherish them!
    Really? I did not know that! Cool
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    Wht u should do is probz make an effort to hang out with girls more and like gradually change ur style. i mean like say u wear hoodies now thts kwool jus like wear sum girly bottoms like, black skinny jeans and a nice hoody like pink,white,red ect but not black thou..thn like try out simple make up like a lil bit eyeshadow, eyeliner n sum lip gloss or tinted lip balm. With the shoe thing i personally dont knw wht to do cuz im size 4 so its easy finding shoes but mayb try sum whr like Evan they do more sizes in shoes i think..hope this helps
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    (Original post by blinkbelle)
    1. You have green eyes - did you know that only 2% of the world's population does? That makes your eyes special - cherish them!

    2. Do you really want to look like everyone else? Try and pick and choose items that you like, that you think look good on you and which make you feel good. (do you have a sister/mum/best friend who is a bit more shopping savvy would could take you shopping?)

    3. Have you looked on eBay/online/in Evans for shoes? My friend has a similar problem with finding pretty shoes but she's recently found some really cute ones from Evans!

    4. Make up - I was just like you! I had no clue about how to put make up on at all! I only ever really wore mascara. I decided enough was enough and went to the Body Shop and had a make up consultation - it was brilliant! The assistant was super and showed me techniques of putting make up on aswell as different products and assessed what was suitable for me. I really recommend it. I felt a bit silly at first but go when the shop is quiet and you'll feel less awkward!)

    5. How is your diet/exericise? - don't take this the wrong way, I'm not commenting on your size (which is perfectly normal and healthy, btw) but if you're not eating the right things or doing any exercise, this could be contributing to feeling bad about yourself. Try and evaluate how you spend your time and do things that contribute to a healthy body image.

    6. You didn't mention your hair - is this because it's good? If it is - love it! The key to body confidence (in my experience) is looking at the things you like/don't mind about yourself and focusing on those, ignoring the things you don't like. Everyone has body hang ups!

    Ultimately, it won't be like this forever! Trust me, I was once in your shoes and now I am more confident in myself than I ever dreamed possible! :hugs: xxx
    Hi, thanks for the response.

    2. tbh, yes, I do. I don't really have many friends, and I think partly it's because I don't look approachable. Like I tried so hard to makefriends at the start of every year at uni but no one ever responded positively. Given that they don't know my personality I'd say it was probably what I look like that they disagreed with. Sorry that sounds kind of snappy, it's not meant to be I'm just trying to answer you. I don't have a sister or best friend and my mum is awful to go shopping with. I do have a male friend I bounce ideas off before throwing away receipts, but tbh he doesn't really know anything about fashion either.

    3 I've looked in evans but I have very narrow feet whereas theirs tend to be wide. Ebay I haven't considered, and online big feet shops seem so expensive. It really hurts me everytime I go into a shop and see all these nice shoes for girls and I can't wear any of them. I know that can't be helped though.

    4. I hadn't considered that, I'll give it a try thanks :-) do they do makeup for sensitive skin because like certain soaps and shampoos give me massive rashes.

    5. I eat pretty healthily and go to the gym a few times a week. I'll admit right now I'm bigger than I want to be, but like I said it was due to the medication and hopefully when i stop I'll go back to my other size. I also play a lot of sports.

    6. no I hate my hair :p: it's down to the bottom of my neck, just long enough to tie back. I have quite a big forehead so need a fringe but I hate how it looks, always makes me think of 7year olds with their stupid fringes.


    For the other people that mentioned body shape. I have really big boobs, quite wide shoulders and boy hips. I think I read somewhere once that makes me a "lolly pop"? :/ I don't know.
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    Size 12 feet????
    Don't worry everyone dislikes themselves now and again.
    It's all about confidence and how to pull it off. Try experimenting with different clothes to fit your body shape (Tips from Gok Wan are good) Google search your shape and find clothes that will flatter your fingure.
    You may need to go to a specialised shop for nice shoes in your size.
    And there are sensitive make up products out there it's really about finding the brand that works for you. Some of my make up makes me itch but that's what experimenting is for.
    :console:
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    (Original post by Culture Slut)
    Hi, thanks for the response.

    2. tbh, yes, I do. I don't really have many friends, and I think partly it's because I don't look approachable. Like I tried so hard to makefriends at the start of every year at uni but no one ever responded positively. Given that they don't know my personality I'd say it was probably what I look like that they disagreed with. Sorry that sounds kind of snappy, it's not meant to be I'm just trying to answer you. I don't have a sister or best friend and my mum is awful to go shopping with. I do have a male friend I bounce ideas off before throwing away receipts, but tbh he doesn't really know anything about fashion either.

    3 I've looked in evans but I have very narrow feet whereas theirs tend to be wide. Ebay I haven't considered, and online big feet shops seem so expensive. It really hurts me everytime I go into a shop and see all these nice shoes for girls and I can't wear any of them. I know that can't be helped though.

    4. I hadn't considered that, I'll give it a try thanks :-) do they do makeup for sensitive skin because like certain soaps and shampoos give me massive rashes.

    5. I eat pretty healthily and go to the gym a few times a week. I'll admit right now I'm bigger than I want to be, but like I said it was due to the medication and hopefully when i stop I'll go back to my other size. I also play a lot of sports.

    6. no I hate my hair :p: it's down to the bottom of my neck, just long enough to tie back. I have quite a big forehead so need a fringe but I hate how it looks, always makes me think of 7year olds with their stupid fringes.


    For the other people that mentioned body shape. I have really big boobs, quite wide shoulders and boy hips. I think I read somewhere once that makes me a "lolly pop"? :/ I don't know.
    Definately try eBay and other online shops. You may have to pay a little more than the high st, but unfortunately that's just life. I'm sure you know, those with big boobs have to stump up more cash too!

    In terms of friends - try to be approachable everywhere you go! You can make new friends any time anywhere - try smiling at some new people next time you're at the gym, or strike up a conversation with someone while you're waiting to go in to your tutorial/seminar. You may feel weird doing it at first but everyone has to break the ice sometime - we weren't all born friends!! If you play a lot of sports that's a prime place to meet new people

    Get to the hairdresser immediately!! Lol. If you don't like your facial features/your hair - you need a new haircut! Ask for your hairdressers advice. And try and go for a style that will force you to make more of an effort with your hair than just tying it up (which is what I suspect you do now? ) I had my hair cut short at the beginning of second year and I can't tell you how much it has changed me! I feel so much more stylish/pretty and feminine now! I used to think I had a giant manly jaw but my haircut now hides that!
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    I agree with everyone here Try wearing some bootcut jeans or some skinnies as your long legs would be suited to them and then a tank top or any top that's slightly tight fitting as you sound like you have a body that would carry that off. Also, if you like hoodies, then try a slim zip up/ hoodie. This gives you the comfort of hoodies without hiding your gender. I've got a few hoodies from Superdry, Hollister, A+F, Bench, a few brands that do great ones. And make sure you buy for your size! Sometimes, especially with hoodies, I feel like I should buy a size or two bigger as they are so comfatable, but try to stay away from this. Hope I helped!
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    Youtube for make-up tutorials. Though I would start with some basics first. For example tweeze your eyebrows into shape, this will definitely make you look more feminine if you haven't done so already.

    Edit: And just be yourself, you don't need to act differently with girls
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    get sum swagger /................................ ..................NEW ERA / NEW ERA
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    I don't think all these replies saying "go hang around with more girls" have considered that most girls are probably too snobby and cliquey to invite what they'd define as somebody "different" to come shopping with them.

    I'm not knocking you OP, i'm knocking these *****es by the way.
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    I <3 hoodies on girls
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    (Original post by Culture Slut)
    6. no I hate my hair :p: it's down to the bottom of my neck, just long enough to tie back. I have quite a big forehead so need a fringe but I hate how it looks, always makes me think of 7year olds with their stupid fringes.
    I have a big forehead too (got negged for it the other day!) but I can't have a fringe because of my double cowlick (i.e. the hair grows in a backwards sort of direction). A fringe would look stupid on me anyway :p: I can just about manage a side parting, though, and a sort of sweepy side fringe (although it's not so much a fringe as my hair going across my face a bit more). That makes my forehead look smaller. You could try that next time you go to the hairdresser? You might have to grow out your fringe a bit though.

    I think it's all about gradual, comfortable change to be honest. There's been some great advice on this thread
 
 
 
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