I'm unfashionable, ugly, androgynous and I don't know how to change.

Hi, this is my first post, I thought maybe some people might be able to help me here. I apologise for length/ramblyness and generally patheticism. I'm not sure if this should go in fashion or in relationships so I'm sorry if this is the wrong place.

I'm a 22 year old girl, studying at university and I'm extremely unhappy with my appearance and how I come across to people. It all comes down to the fact that I don't know how to dress, I don't know how to put make up on (though I have very sensitive skin so I would probably be allergic to it), I don't even really know how to act and make friends.

I'm 5ft11, size 14 on top and 12 on bottom (used to be a 10 on bottom but recently have been on medication which made me put on weight), green eyes, brown hair and I have no idea what to wear to make me look good. I have 2 brothers who I used to be around all the time growing up, I've never really had a female friend so I don't know how I'm meant to act or do or anything.

Does anyone have any tips they can give me? Right now I wear skate jeans, hoodys and trainers. I have tried buying new clothes from high street stores like dorethy perkins, new look, topshop etc and trying to look like every other girl but I haven't had much luck, I never know what suits me or what other people think of it. Recently there was a superdry sale on, I spent about an hour looking at their clothes thinking how nice they looked on the models, but in the end I just cried because I know anything slightly baggy or boyish (like lumberjack shirts which seem to be in now) will make me look male, I don't really have a very feminine face. I would spend £300 on a jacket if it looked as nice on me as they did on those superdry models. The reason I wear what I do now is because it's easier to deal with people thinking I'm a lesbian or a feminine looking guy than it is for them to think I'm a cross-dresser or a mtf trans. It doesn't seem to matter what clothes I buy or how much I spend I never get it right and always look ridiculous.

In addition to these problems, I have size 12 feet, so I can't buy nice shoes like every other girl in the world, hence the trainers.


I'm sorry about the length and the whining, I would just desperately like some help and I was hoping someone here would be able to give it to me. Anything will do, even minor things, I just want to know what to do.


tl;dr version, I can't find clothes that look nice on me and it upsets me.

I'm 5ft11, size 14 on top and 12 on bottom (used to be a 10 on bottom but recently have been on medication which made me put on weight), green eyes, brown hair and I have no idea what to wear to make me look good. I have 2 brothers who I used to be around all the time growing up, I've never really had a female friend so I don't know how I'm meant to act or do or anything.

Does anyone have any tips they can give me? Right now I wear skate jeans, hoodys and trainers. I have tried buying new clothes from high street stores like dorethy perkins, new look, topshop etc and trying to look like every other girl but I haven't had much luck, I never know what suits me or what other people think of it. Recently there was a superdry sale on, I spent about an hour looking at their clothes thinking how nice they looked on the models, but in the end I just cried because I know anything slightly baggy or boyish (like lumberjack shirts which seem to be in now) will make me look male, I don't really have a very feminine face. I would spend £300 on a jacket if it looked as nice on me as they did on those superdry models. The reason I wear what I do now is because it's easier to deal with people thinking I'm a lesbian or a feminine looking guy than it is for them to think I'm a cross-dresser or a mtf trans. It doesn't seem to matter what clothes I buy or how much I spend I never get it right and always look ridiculous.

In addition to these problems, I have size 12 feet, so I can't buy nice shoes like every other girl in the world, hence the trainers.

I've kinda been in your position before. I thought I was really unattractive as I had spots, didn't think I had a pretty face and didn't know how to dress very femininly like some girls you see. Now, I'm not saying it's perfect now, but I've found a style that suits me, I've learnt to do my hair abit more, I've experimented with make up (just mascara, eyeliner and foundation). I wouldn't consider myself unattractive anymore and though I still get self consious about my looks with people I'm attracted to, things are alot better.

Everyone has there talents and I think some people just naturally know (or at least care/enjoy it so much they take the time to learn) how to dress and style themselves. I am not one of those people and for someone else in thsoe shoes, I'd say it's a learning process and not to expect things to happen instantly.

I'd also say when you feel unattractive you tend to distort reality and see things that aren't there. You have dark hair and green eyes....those are really, really attractive qualities, the type of thing that makes me jealous of other girls!

I think instead of looking in shops (as in my experience that was really intimidating and bewildering when I didn't really know what I was looking for) you should start by looking on the internet and finding outfits for women of your size that aren't too ambitous to pull off. Look around the shop websites for similar items that contribute to those outfits and then try them on in stores to see if they fit. You need to drop this baggy style as it isn't makign you feel good about yourself and selling your qualities. Opt for fitted things.

Also, make up is another thing that is really bewildering. Someone once suggested taking classes as supposedly they do them now. I couldn't be bothered personally but it might be something you're interested in. Like said, I'm only on the basics of eyeliner and mascara so perhaps you should just start off with that and when you feel you've got that technique down enough experiment with more complex things.

Hair, I think, is really important. One of the most important things perhaps. I just sort of got better and better at it through trial and error and chance encounters with helpful people. Think about changing it perhaps to something more stylish and feminine.

Anyway, last comment, everyone's got to start somewhere. It was a process for me that's still going on. Take it in steps and you'll see results

try some thing simple that all girls can pull off,

sheepskin boots, black tights,denim shorts and any top you like, even hoodies look good with this combination!
as for make up, dont go overboard, just buy some mascara and it will make anyone look more feminine.

http://www.tallgirls.co.uk/new-spring-range/new-footwear/sheepskin-ankle-boot-ladies-shoes-size-9.html

http://www.newlook.co.uk/1695911/169591149/ProductDetails.aspx

Or a denim skirt. And a lot of girls dont wear mascara as it can constantly rub off or move and you go in the loos to find black dots or grey shading around your eyes but many wear foundation/concealer/blusher to even out tone and give a brighter look. Id say if youre just going for that instant feminity like mascara, a less messy thing is eye curlers, search youtube for application or use of any of these and theres loads of easy how tos.

a skirt is a good idea. Simple things like painting your nails dont go amiss either