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I'm unfashionable, ugly, androgynous and I don't know how to change. watch

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    (Original post by Culture Slut)
    Hi, this is my first post, I thought maybe some people might be able to help me here. I apologise for length/ramblyness and generally patheticism. I'm not sure if this should go in fashion or in relationships so I'm sorry if this is the wrong place.

    I'm a 22 year old girl, studying at university and I'm extremely unhappy with my appearance and how I come across to people. It all comes down to the fact that I don't know how to dress, I don't know how to put make up on (though I have very sensitive skin so I would probably be allergic to it), I don't even really know how to act and make friends.

    I'm 5ft11, size 14 on top and 12 on bottom (used to be a 10 on bottom but recently have been on medication which made me put on weight), green eyes, brown hair and I have no idea what to wear to make me look good. I have 2 brothers who I used to be around all the time growing up, I've never really had a female friend so I don't know how I'm meant to act or do or anything.

    Does anyone have any tips they can give me? Right now I wear skate jeans, hoodys and trainers. I have tried buying new clothes from high street stores like dorethy perkins, new look, topshop etc and trying to look like every other girl but I haven't had much luck, I never know what suits me or what other people think of it. Recently there was a superdry sale on, I spent about an hour looking at their clothes thinking how nice they looked on the models, but in the end I just cried because I know anything slightly baggy or boyish (like lumberjack shirts which seem to be in now) will make me look male, I don't really have a very feminine face. I would spend £300 on a jacket if it looked as nice on me as they did on those superdry models. The reason I wear what I do now is because it's easier to deal with people thinking I'm a lesbian or a feminine looking guy than it is for them to think I'm a cross-dresser or a mtf trans. It doesn't seem to matter what clothes I buy or how much I spend I never get it right and always look ridiculous.

    In addition to these problems, I have size 12 feet, so I can't buy nice shoes like every other girl in the world, hence the trainers.


    I'm sorry about the length and the whining, I would just desperately like some help and I was hoping someone here would be able to give it to me. Anything will do, even minor things, I just want to know what to do.


    tl;dr version, I can't find clothes that look nice on me and it upsets me.
    Like someone else mentioned gok wan and others online have fashion bibles for what suits which shape, if you have an 'androgynous' look then maybe use belts to cinch your waist so it gives you a more feminine shape? And if you subscribe to dorothy perkins or newlook websites they send emails with 'get the look' outfits showing how to pair things together, like a day dress and leggings with a boyfriend blazer.

    Again id change your hair as this can be a defining part of female/androgynous and i would say maybe a side fringe rather then a block fringe as it sounds you have as its not as harsh especially if you have your hair feathered - meaning its not cut in perfect straight lines but kinda choppy edged so its more natural. A quick google search showed a lot with what i mean Here.

    If youre not yet comfortable in full on girly clothes then look at stuff like fatface as you can see girls wearing simple hoodies and jeans (straight leg or skinny would be best for you but the latter may not look good as some girls - me included - just look better with straight or boot cut though some ppl dont like these).

    Watch a lot of tv - especially if you have sky there are loads of style makeover shows but they go a bit gung ho with full on outfits (statement jewellery etc) and you might just want to copy parts of the look.
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    (Original post by Culture Slut)
    I'm 5ft11, size 14 on top and 12 on bottom (used to be a 10 on bottom but recently have been on medication which made me put on weight), green eyes, brown hair and I have no idea what to wear to make me look good. I have 2 brothers who I used to be around all the time growing up, I've never really had a female friend so I don't know how I'm meant to act or do or anything.

    Does anyone have any tips they can give me? Right now I wear skate jeans, hoodys and trainers. I have tried buying new clothes from high street stores like dorethy perkins, new look, topshop etc and trying to look like every other girl but I haven't had much luck, I never know what suits me or what other people think of it. Recently there was a superdry sale on, I spent about an hour looking at their clothes thinking how nice they looked on the models, but in the end I just cried because I know anything slightly baggy or boyish (like lumberjack shirts which seem to be in now) will make me look male, I don't really have a very feminine face. I would spend £300 on a jacket if it looked as nice on me as they did on those superdry models. The reason I wear what I do now is because it's easier to deal with people thinking I'm a lesbian or a feminine looking guy than it is for them to think I'm a cross-dresser or a mtf trans. It doesn't seem to matter what clothes I buy or how much I spend I never get it right and always look ridiculous.

    In addition to these problems, I have size 12 feet, so I can't buy nice shoes like every other girl in the world, hence the trainers.
    Feel your pain, OP, I have the same issue.

    Never really been a girly girl - I have 2 brothers and play a lot of sports so I don't necessarily feel exactly feminine all the time.

    I've found that what's best isn't to try and conform. If you like trainers, that's fine, stay in them. If you like hoodies and jeans, that's fine too. I do! But just try and pair things up, I try not to have baggy on both top and bottom. If I'm wearing baggy jeans, I'll wear a vest top and cardigan or something. If I'm wearing a hoody, I'll stick some tighter jeans on.

    Converses/trainers are always respectable though :p:
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    (Original post by allieRAWR!)
    I've kinda been in your position before. I thought I was really unattractive as I had spots, didn't think I had a pretty face and didn't know how to dress very femininly like some girls you see. Now, I'm not saying it's perfect now, but I've found a style that suits me, I've learnt to do my hair abit more, I've experimented with make up (just mascara, eyeliner and foundation). I wouldn't consider myself unattractive anymore and though I still get self consious about my looks with people I'm attracted to, things are alot better.

    Everyone has there talents and I think some people just naturally know (or at least care/enjoy it so much they take the time to learn) how to dress and style themselves. I am not one of those people and for someone else in thsoe shoes, I'd say it's a learning process and not to expect things to happen instantly.

    I'd also say when you feel unattractive you tend to distort reality and see things that aren't there. You have dark hair and green eyes....those are really, really attractive qualities, the type of thing that makes me jealous of other girls!

    I think instead of looking in shops (as in my experience that was really intimidating and bewildering when I didn't really know what I was looking for) you should start by looking on the internet and finding outfits for women of your size that aren't too ambitous to pull off. Look around the shop websites for similar items that contribute to those outfits and then try them on in stores to see if they fit. You need to drop this baggy style as it isn't makign you feel good about yourself and selling your qualities. Opt for fitted things.

    Also, make up is another thing that is really bewildering. Someone once suggested taking classes as supposedly they do them now. I couldn't be bothered personally but it might be something you're interested in. Like said, I'm only on the basics of eyeliner and mascara so perhaps you should just start off with that and when you feel you've got that technique down enough experiment with more complex things.

    Hair, I think, is really important. One of the most important things perhaps. I just sort of got better and better at it through trial and error and chance encounters with helpful people. Think about changing it perhaps to something more stylish and feminine.

    Anyway, last comment, everyone's got to start somewhere. It was a process for me that's still going on. Take it in steps and you'll see results
    You and perhaps OP could try this, the free style advisor from Dorothy Perkins, two Manchester locations just book, you dont have to take their advice or buy anything.
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    try some thing simple that all girls can pull off,

    sheepskin boots, black tights,denim shorts and any top you like, even hoodies look good with this combination!
    as for make up, dont go overboard, just buy some mascara and it will make anyone look more feminine.

    http://www.tallgirls.co.uk/new-sprin...es-size-9.html

    http://www.newlook.co.uk/1695911/169...ctDetails.aspx
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    It's such a cliche to say so, but dress how you feel comfortable- simple as that. There's nothing wrong with hoodies and jeans- it's better in my opinion. Plenty of girls dress so alike, wear their hair so alike, etc- most girls are so horribly conventional that they just melt into one and get pretty hard to recognise one from another. Perfect for committing bank robberies, but not for catching people's eye.
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    (Original post by sequin12)
    try some thing simple that all girls can pull off,

    sheepskin boots, black tights,denim shorts and any top you like, even hoodies look good with this combination!
    as for make up, dont go overboard, just buy some mascara and it will make anyone look more feminine.

    http://www.tallgirls.co.uk/new-sprin...es-size-9.html

    http://www.newlook.co.uk/1695911/169...ctDetails.aspx
    Or a denim skirt. And a lot of girls dont wear mascara as it can constantly rub off or move and you go in the loos to find black dots or grey shading around your eyes but many wear foundation/concealer/blusher to even out tone and give a brighter look. Id say if youre just going for that instant feminity like mascara, a less messy thing is eye curlers, search youtube for application or use of any of these and theres loads of easy how tos.
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    Smile
    They're infectious.
    Even if you feel rubbish.
    Smile.
    You'll start to feel better and..
    People smile back.
    The most attractive thing about anyone is their smile
    To be honest, You sound somewhat annoyed with yourself, you shouldn't be, you are yourself.
    I know it's cliche, but You shouldn't have to change yourself to feel like you can be accepted and approachable.
    Buttt.
    Why not try sitting in a coffee shop, looking dark mysterious and reading an intelectual book. You'll catch someones eye. Then like i sad a smile is all you need.

    Please
    x
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    (Original post by Jennie1987)
    Or a denim skirt. And a lot of girls dont wear mascara as it can constantly rub off or move and you go in the loos to find black dots or grey shading around your eyes but many wear foundation/concealer/blusher to even out tone and give a brighter look. Id say if youre just going for that instant feminity like mascara, a less messy thing is eye curlers, search youtube for application or use of any of these and theres loads of easy how tos.

    a skirt is a good idea. Simple things like painting your nails dont go amiss either
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    (Original post by sequin12)
    a skirt is a good idea. Simple things like painting your nails dont go amiss either
    I hate painting my nails, i think they look ridiculous on lots of people and out of place. I dont bite my nails and dont see a reason to do anything but cut/file them plus its just another expense when i already pay for skincare and make up (though not much).
 
 
 
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