Please keep anon or delete.
I've found myself in a bit of a tricky situation with my lecturer and I don't know what to do about it
As the stereotype goes, I have a huge crush on him and have done since our first conversation. Admittedly, I try really hard on assignments because of him - even if he's not marking them.
I feel that we've become quite close over the last few months and formed somewhat of a friendship. Despite having a mad crush on him, I never expected anything more than a friendship and in no way did I try to forge anything more out of respect for his career.
But something changed when I was in his office last week; I was there to collect my essay and after receiving feedback, conversation veered to other topics, as usually happens. As I went to leave, he stood up too (which he never normally does), so I smiled politely and went to open the door, when he called my name. I turned around and he was standing so close to me, and before I could figure out what was going on, he leaned in to kiss me. Initially I was shocked but I stupidly let my feelings overtake me and I kissed him back. After we broke apart and I realised what just happened, I just said I had to leave and walked out of his office.
I'm just so confused now, but the thing is, I actually want to kiss him again when I know that I really shouldn't and I feel absolutely ridiculous for feeling this way. He doesn't seem like the type to regularly come on to his students but I'm just not sure anymore.
Any advice would be appreciated