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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It did honestly make me lose a little bit of respect for him when he kissed me...it didn't really show he respected his wife...:/
    yeah definately
    and i'm not completely unsympathtic but i know if you gave him a shot, in the end he would end up chosing his wife. in the end you'll get hurt and you don't want that

    so it won't be easy getting over him but i suggest you do.
    and if he ever gets a divorce and you've finished your degree and he kisses you again then it's time to have some fun :yep:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, and they tend to point it out in the actual lectures themselves quite blatantly. It's really annoying because I just don't know what to say to them :/

    My friends know that I think he's awesome...but almost everyone thinks he's awesome so :dontknow: Some of them have probably figured it out but haven't said anything.
    How about with you? Do your friends know?

    Another case of wanting what we can't have... :sigh:

    Maybe he got warned for the last time he got involved with a student, so he's been extra careful :dontknow: But then again, you're probably better off if he didn't like you - it makes the situation much more awkward otherwise. Unless of course your uni has no policy on lecturer-student relationships...
    ive told 2 of my friends and they always say stuff nd then i get embarassed but ive recently started making a big effort for his classes so might be kinda obv , i hope not, im tryna balance it out so its not so obvious
    yh but at the end of the lesson he does like stare at me, when i leave
    when do u see him next?
    i just cant figure out what hes thinking..and also he stands like really close to me but im not sure if that just with everyone,
    he probably doesnt as i am like less than half his age
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, and they tend to point it out in the actual lectures themselves quite blatantly. It's really annoying because I just don't know what to say to them :/

    My friends know that I think he's awesome...but almost everyone thinks he's awesome so :dontknow: Some of them have probably figured it out but haven't said anything.
    How about with you? Do your friends know?

    Another case of wanting what we can't have... :sigh:

    Maybe he got warned for the last time he got involved with a student, so he's been extra careful :dontknow: But then again, you're probably better off if he didn't like you - it makes the situation much more awkward otherwise. Unless of course your uni has no policy on lecturer-student relationships...
    i dont know if my uni has a policy, do you know if urs does?
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    (Original post by x In Love Again x)
    yeah definitely
    and i'm not completely unsympathtic but i know if you gave him a shot, in the end he would end up chosing his wife. in the end you'll get hurt and you don't want that

    so it won't be easy getting over him but i suggest you do.
    and if he ever gets a divorce and you've finished your degree and he kisses you again then it's time to have some fun :yep:
    :o: Wouldn't that be nice if that happened at the end of my degree? And I mean that in the nicest way possible :p:

    But yeah, I agree, I think getting over him is the only option...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    :o: Wouldn't that be nice if that happened at the end of my degree? And I mean that in the nicest way possible :p:

    But yeah, I agree, I think getting over him is the only option...
    yeah but how are you going to do that , my friends keep telling me i should but its hard
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ive told 2 of my friends and they always say stuff nd then i get embarassed but ive recently started making a big effort for his classes so might be kinda obv , i hope not, im tryna balance it out so its not so obvious
    yh but at the end of the lesson he does like stare at me, when i leave
    when do u see him next?
    i just cant figure out what hes thinking..and also he stands like really close to me but im not sure if that just with everyone,
    he probably doesnt as i am like less than half his age
    That's the problem with lecturers, you never know what they're thinking...it's the same with mine, he's hard to read sometimes.
    Well, I emailied him about the meeting and I'll see him on Friday...hoping it goes well and it won't be too awkward

    i dont know if my uni has a policy, do you know if urs does?
    Check out the code of conduct or something - it should be in there.
    Nope, mine has no policy on it - there policy is basically 'do who you want as long as it doesn't affect your studies' - which makes it all the more frustrating :p:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeah but how are you going to do that , my friends keep telling me i should but its hard
    That's the only problem...I don't know how to get over him
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's the problem with lecturers, you never know what they're thinking...it's the same with mine, he's hard to read sometimes.
    Well, I emailied him about the meeting and I'll see him on Friday...hoping it goes well and it won't be too awkward



    Check out the code of conduct or something - it should be in there.
    Nope, mine has no policy on it - there policy is basically 'do who you want as long as it doesn't affect your studies' - which makes it all the more frustrating :p:
    how old is your lecturer?
    its the fact that hedoesnt help me for long that makes me think that he doesnt like me everything makes me think he does but then again the not helping fortoo long could be that other people dont get suspiscious, its so frustrating
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's the only problem...I don't know how to get over him
    Consider specifically why you like him, then consider viable alternatives; he is probably not the most attractive man you have ever had a crush on so why is he making you feel like this? The answer, then, may be more about perceived intimacy you share with him, and if that is the case then you may need to distance yourself from him as best as you can.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    how old is your lecturer?
    its the fact that hedoesnt help me for long that makes me think that he doesnt like me everything makes me think he does but then again the not helping fortoo long could be that other people dont get suspiscious, its so frustrating
    He's in his 40s - which is actually a guess going by how long he's been a lecturer/how long it takes to get a PhD etc. He tried to make me guess his age and I told him he could pass off as a student - he was too busy smiling to tell me his actual age :p: It's actually quite embarrassing looking back on it, but his smile was so cute I didn't care at the time :o:

    Do you get to talk to him often about issues not directly related to what you're studying? Is he your seminar tutor too or does he just occasionally lecture you?
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    (Original post by evantej)
    Consider specifically why you like him, then consider viable alternatives; he is probably not the most attractive man you have ever had a crush on so why is he making you feel like this? The answer, then, may be more about perceived intimacy you share with him, and if that is the case then you may need to distance yourself from him as best as you can.
    But with him being my course leader/lecturer/seminar tutor/personal tutor - it's not so easy to distance myself from him. Even during the Christmas break, when I didn't see him for a month didn't seem to help - as soon as I saw him again, I realised nothing had changed
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He's in his 40s - which is actually a guess going by how long he's been a lecturer/how long it takes to get a PhD etc. He tried to make me guess his age and I told him he could pass off as a student - he was too busy smiling to tell me his actual age :p: It's actually quite embarrassing looking back on it, but his smile was so cute I didn't care at the time :o:

    Do you get to talk to him often about issues not directly related to what you're studying? Is he your seminar tutor too or does he just occasionally lecture you?
    ive only got him for one class this week but usually get him 3 to 4 times a week,for lectures and one class/week
    aww thats so cute that convo u guys had
    no hes just my lecturer not my tutor but hes like the module co-ordinator forthe subject
    so dont get a chance to talk to him, but was thinking of staying behind and asking him some stuff but this girl was already asking before me last week so didnt want to wait to get a chance to talk to him as wouldve been awkward
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ive only got him for one class this week but usually get him 3 to 4 times a week,for lectures and one class/week
    aww thats so cute that convo u guys had
    no hes just my lecturer not my tutor but hes like the module co-ordinator forthe subject
    so dont get a chance to talk to him, but was thinking of staying behind and asking him some stuff but this girl was already asking before me last week so didnt want to wait to get a chance to talk to him as wouldve been awkward
    Wow! You see him quite a lot in a week then. In lectures, I only see mine once a week...soon to be twice a week and according to my timetable, 7 hours of him in one week for 3 weeks :o:
    That ought to be fun trying to get over him then...:p:

    Haha, I always used to wait even if there were 3 people who wanted to talk to him before me - unless he had another lecture, he'd usually be fine with it. But I didn't do it a lot - only when I had a genuine question to ask him - I thought that might have made it less obvious that I liked him. Obviously it didn't though...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Wow! You see him quite a lot in a week then. In lectures, I only see mine once a week...soon to be twice a week and according to my timetable, 7 hours of him in one week for 3 weeks :o:
    That ought to be fun trying to get over him then...:p:

    Haha, I always used to wait even if there were 3 people who wanted to talk to him before me - unless he had another lecture, he'd usually be fine with it. But I didn't do it a lot - only when I had a genuine question to ask him - I thought that might have made it less obvious that I liked him. Obviously it didn't though...
    lol i count how many hours i have him each week too, and am soo looking forward to next week and this weeks class
    yeah i didnt have a genuine q last week so was just gonna make something up and then decided to ask once i actually had one to avoid me looking stupid, and it being obvious
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    lol i count how many hours i have him each week too, and am soo looking forward to next week and this weeks class
    yeah i didnt have a genuine q last week so was just gonna make something up and then decided to ask once i actually had one to avoid me looking stupid, and it being obvious
    Good to know I'm not the only one! I feel slightly sane now lol
    Actually, I did once end up making up a question - I did have a genuine question to ask him but I had a mind blank as soon as I was about to ask him - I end up asking him whether he got any sleep that night :lolwut: Why the hell did that have to be the first thing to pop into my head?! He was trying very hard not to laugh at that and jokingly asked me if I said that because he looked rough. I replied 'no' a little too quickly...oh dear. :p:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It did honestly make me lose a little bit of respect for him when he kissed me...it didn't really show he respected his wife...:/
    This. Massively. Listen to the part of your mind that says this.

    I would never tell you not to go for it - once you've finished your study (before that, and I think there would be too many issues). But I've always thought that I wouldn't want someone to leave their SO for me - because I'd never trust them not to turn around and do the same to me next time a pretty, bright, interested, sweet student walked into his office (and I'm sorry if that sounds patronising, but if you are, as I am assuming, in your late teens/early twenties, this could well be how he sees you).

    Emailing him about it, if it's monitored by the uni, is, as you so rightly say, not a bright idea. Have you thought about just pretending that it didn't happen? You could follow his lead on this one - if he decides to bring it up, fine - but otherwise, don't, and keep your head down.

    You could also NOT go to his office when his roommate, so to speak, isn't there. Find his/her timetable, if you can, and email him to arrange appointments, and just lie about your availability to avoid aloneness

    I really, really hope you get this sorted out! It's a sticky wicket - but I'm sure it'll turn out right.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Good to know I'm not the only one! I feel slightly sane now lol
    Actually, I did once end up making up a question - I did have a genuine question to ask him but I had a mind blank as soon as I was about to ask him - I end up asking him whether he got any sleep that night :lolwut: Why the hell did that have to be the first thing to pop into my head?! He was trying very hard not to laugh at that and jokingly asked me if I said that because he looked rough. I replied 'no' a little too quickly...oh dear. :p:
    lol id be too shy to say that to him, im just so shy around him
    tbh hun,yeah hes married but the question is- is he happily married lol like my friend said to me ( at that point i thought he was married but he isnt)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It did honestly make me lose a little bit of respect for him when he kissed me...it didn't really show he respected his wife...:/
    Hold this thought.

    God knows what you're going to say to him on Friday. Think it through VERY carefully before you go to the meeting.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Good to know I'm not the only one! I feel slightly sane now lol
    Actually, I did once end up making up a question - I did have a genuine question to ask him but I had a mind blank as soon as I was about to ask him - I end up asking him whether he got any sleep that night :lolwut: Why the hell did that have to be the first thing to pop into my head?! He was trying very hard not to laugh at that and jokingly asked me if I said that because he looked rough. I replied 'no' a little too quickly...oh dear. :p:
    fo you think the prolonged eye contact means anything or do you think im just imagining it?
    like before i used to say hi to him if i seen him, but this semester im just so shy
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    (Original post by morphosyntax)
    This. Massively. Listen to the part of your mind that says this.

    I would never tell you not to go for it - once you've finished your study (before that, and I think there would be too many issues). But I've always thought that I wouldn't want someone to leave their SO for me - because I'd never trust them not to turn around and do the same to me next time a pretty, bright, interested, sweet student walked into his office (and I'm sorry if that sounds patronising, but if you are, as I am assuming, in your late teens/early twenties, this could well be how he sees you).

    Emailing him about it, if it's monitored by the uni, is, as you so rightly say, not a bright idea. Have you thought about just pretending that it didn't happen? You could follow his lead on this one - if he decides to bring it up, fine - but otherwise, don't, and keep your head down.

    You could also NOT go to his office when his roommate, so to speak, isn't there. Find his/her timetable, if you can, and email him to arrange appointments, and just lie about your availability to avoid aloneness

    I really, really hope you get this sorted out! It's a sticky wicket - but I'm sure it'll turn out right.
    I know that I definitely don't want to get involved with him, it's just the getting over him that's the hardest part.

    Although, I've already booked an appointment via email to see him on Friday, although I didn't mention in the email what I had to see him about so if he doesn't bring it up I can say it's about next year's module choices (which he has to verify anyway)? As far as I know, the other lecturer is in and out of his office all day on Friday - I assume he won't do something so bold then...

    I know it's hard to avoid him but I'll try not to be alone with him as much as I can. I hope we can get our friendship back the way it was; he was always someone I could confide in and I don't want to lose that, but for now, I'll be careful

    Thanks for the advice
 
 
 
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