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Leanna1013
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#1
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#1
Hi everyone,
This is my first post, I hope you lot don't mind me asking for advice!

I'm in my second year of university, and when i first went to university I met this guy, and we've become really close friends. I used to fancy him when I first met him, but I got over him because I value our friendship so much that I wouldn't risk losing it.

The annoying thing is, as soon as I convinced myself of that, we started doing more stuff together, and now I'm confused because I'm not sure what he wants. He has been ringing me a lot recently, and we can just talk about everything because we have so much in common. I can't tell if I'm reading too much into things. Would everything get too complicated if we got together?

I know it's hard because you don't know us but any advice from past experiences would be much appreciated!
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meepmeep
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(Original post by Leanna1013)
Hi everyone,
This is my first post, I hope you lot don't mind me asking for advice!

I'm in my second year of university, and when i first went to university I met this guy, and we've become really close friends. I used to fancy him when I first met him, but I got over him because I value our friendship so much that I wouldn't risk losing it.

The annoying thing is, as soon as I convinced myself of that, we started doing more stuff together, and now I'm confused because I'm not sure what he wants. He has been ringing me a lot recently, and we can just talk about everything because we have so much in common. I can't tell if I'm reading too much into things. Would everything get too complicated if we got together?

I know it's hard because you don't know us but any advice from past experiences would be much appreciated!
If you go into it agreeing that you'll be friends afterwards, whatever happens, then I don't see the problem (from the male perspective). Only problem would be if one of you messed the other one about, but I don't know either of you, so would be hard to judge.
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pedy1986
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Lets face it

He is Male - he has a penis - what do you think he wants?

good luck, have fun!
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cherrydrops1985
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(Original post by corey)
Lets face it

He is Male - he has a penis - what do you think he wants?

good luck, have fun!
not everyones that narrow minded sweety. maybe ur just projecting ur own wants
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lou p lou
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(Original post by meepmeep)
If you go into it agreeing that you'll be friends afterwards, whatever happens, then I don't see the problem (from the male perspective). Only problem would be if one of you messed the other one about, but I don't know either of you, so would be hard to judge.
it's a really tough one... i'm going out with my best friend and although we agreed we would always stay friends, we did spluit up for a while + it was not the same as it was before we went out... and neither of us were happy about being jus friends when we had been so much closer...so we're now in a really awkward situation of being sort of back together but only because we were spending so muc time together and one thing led to another... it's completely upto you... no one can decide it for you.

i always say i would never go out with a friend again, but if i had a choice i wouldn't not go out with my guy...it's sp hard, whatever you do you always feel is both the right and wrong option.

lou xxx
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meepmeep
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(Original post by lou p lou)
it's a really tough one... i'm going out with my best friend and although we agreed we would always stay friends, we did spluit up for a while + it was not the same as it was before we went out... and neither of us were happy about being jus friends when we had been so much closer...so we're now in a really awkward situation of being sort of back together but only because we were spending so muc time together and one thing led to another... it's completely upto you... no one can decide it for you.

i always say i would never go out with a friend again, but if i had a choice i wouldn't not go out with my guy...it's sp hard, whatever you do you always feel is both the right and wrong option.

lou xxx
I don't really think there is a right or wrong answer. It's your call. Does he mean that much to you to risk it?
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pedy1986
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(Original post by SparklLZz)
not everyones that narrow minded sweety. maybe ur just projecting ur own wants
SparklLZz, ok lets look at the facts

1) Your a female so you can't really comment on what i said.
2) Likelyhood your male friends tell you the truth of how they think? Slim.
3) Its hardly narrow minded, infact i think its sensible
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JSM
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(Original post by corey)
Lets face it

He is Male - he has a penis - what do you think he wants?

good luck, have fun!
its people like you who give blokes a bad name



a bad name, but a true one

gd on u
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pedy1986
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(Original post by JSM)
its people like you who give blokes a bad name



a bad name, but a true one

gd on u
At least we arent all emotional :rolleyes:
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Leanna1013
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#10
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Well I've spoken to some people who said the whole 'if you were that good friends to begin with it won't change anything' etc, but I know that he's not really that good friends with his last gf.. but then they didn't know each other that well before. It's all so confusing!

Yeah he does mean a lot to me, and I wouldn't want to change things, but would that just mean it would be that much better if we did date?
Also I'm scared that if you get that much closer than maybe we'll see the things we don't like about each other, and just get fed up with each other completely.

Well I have no idea. I will just have to try not to think about him over christmas, we won't see each other until we go back!
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a_musical_guy
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(Original post by SparklLZz)
not everyones that narrow minded sweety. maybe ur just projecting ur own wants
Well said Mr Sparkleo :rolleyes:

Anyway, it depends if the girl's attractive or not. If she's a swamp blob, then it's definitely a friendship thing.
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gib
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#12
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i think that is good advice. good intelligencee on these forums.
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JSM
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#13
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ask him out if you are attracted (its a bg surprise and a nice one) as he is probably dreading the first move, he wants to play a passive role, but so do you.
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GH
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He prolly likes you but doesn't have the gut to tell you. It all depends if you want to take it further...
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pedy1986
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#15
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#15
In a recent survey 95% of men would like a women to make the first move on them
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GH
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#16
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#16
(Original post by corey)
In a recent survey 95% of men would like a women to make the first move on them
I would want my bird to make a move...
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Leanna1013
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#17
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I would make a move but what happens if I've just been making everything up in my head, and in fact he doesn't feel the same at all? =(
(Oh dear I sound so pathetic!)
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GH
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#18
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(Original post by Leanna1013)
I would make a move but what happens if I've just been making everything up in my head, and in fact he doesn't feel the same at all? =(
(Oh dear I sound so pathetic!)
Well ask him. You can't go wrong...If not tehn you'll still be friends if you are right. well then...
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HammaL
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#19
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(Original post by Leanna1013)
Hi everyone,
This is my first post, I hope you lot don't mind me asking for advice!

I'm in my second year of university, and when i first went to university I met this guy, and we've become really close friends. I used to fancy him when I first met him, but I got over him because I value our friendship so much that I wouldn't risk losing it.

The annoying thing is, as soon as I convinced myself of that, we started doing more stuff together, and now I'm confused because I'm not sure what he wants. He has been ringing me a lot recently, and we can just talk about everything because we have so much in common. I can't tell if I'm reading too much into things. Would everything get too complicated if we got together?

I know it's hard because you don't know us but any advice from past experiences would be much appreciated!
Talk to him, Ask him the questions that u need to ask! IT would be better than assuming things.
Depending on the answers that he gives u , deicde. U'll then have a choice, whether u do it or not it is up to u and no one can tell u !
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pedy1986
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Just kiss him, he won't complain.
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