long term relationships at a young age Watch

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Mishael
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#21
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#21
I've been with my boyfriend for three years - we started going out when I'd just turned fifteen. Sometimes I do feel as though I'm missing out on the fun of being single, but to be honest I'd much rather have the secure, loving relationship I have now. If I was single I know that I'd just be looking for exactly what I've already got.

However, in some ways I wish I'd met him a few years later.
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_poptart_
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#22
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#22
yeah uni definitely affects how a relationship pans out.
Dont worry about it though, in my opinion i think its best to go to uni single!
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Beckie
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#23
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#23
well my friend who is now 20 has been seeing his girlfriend since he was 11 years old.........cripes......I think he's missing out or at least has missed out, but I guess if you are lucky enough to fall in love with someone at a young age you get to spend more time with them.....I went out with the same guy for 4 years between the ages of 13 and 16 and when we broke up I was devastated and really felt like I'd missed out, but on reflection I guess I got to experience other things instead.
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happydinosaur
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#24
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#24
I was in a relationship from the age of 14 (year nine) up until a few months ago. I don't think I missed out on anything in fact I think it has made a very positive impact on the last few years of my life. I suppose it has meant that I havn't had as many other close friends but I might not have had many anyway..thats just who I am. In many respects though this relationship wasn't as long term as others I have witnessed so many other people were getting engaged in year 10 and year 11-which is crazy!! :eek:
happydinosaur
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#25
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#25
(Original post by Mishael)
However, in some ways I wish I'd met him a few years later.
That is a thought which torments me every day...:mad: really silly but it does
lou p lou
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#26
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i think it's really scary to be a in long-term relationship at our age (i'm 19) and i also think that being serious enough to make that long distance at uni is a huge step.

saying all that... me and my bf are celebrating 18 months on monday and during term time i'm in dundee and he's in lancaster. in some ways that's made us both a bit more independent as we have very different groups of friends and we can go out and get hideously drunk without worrying about the other one.

my gut instinct is that we're both too young for the kind of commitment we have, but i guess that can't be helped- when we started going out neither of us expected this, neither of us had been in any long-term relationship before (my longest was about 6 months and i split up with him just before i met my bf) and we just expected it to be a bit of fun.

lou xxx
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-TMG-
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#27
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I was in a semi long (?) relationship in January. It lasted 7 months. It wasn't all bad though, although the last half of the relationship was a disaster. I learned from it and am not going to put up with any of the same **** again.

I was 19 and she was 15.
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no_name
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#28
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i've been with my bf for just over 2 and a half years and we're definately staying together throughout uni. we've had our fair share of problems but we love each other soo much and noone even compares to him! i'm so loved up!
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blissy
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#29
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(Original post by no_name)
i've been with my bf for just over 2 and a half years and we're definately staying together throughout uni. we've had our fair share of problems but we love each other soo much and noone even compares to him! i'm so loved up!
It's easier said than done
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Helenia
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#30
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(Original post by lessthanthree)
I think people grow up a lot during that period of their lives, and I'd be surprised if a couple who got together in year 10 still had the same ideals as one another after year 12.
Ditto - and even more so after they've moved away from home and gone to university, which does change your life.
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natcho
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#31
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I know a 17 year old couple who have been going out for three years now. To cut a long story short, I think the circumstances of their coming together was quite weird: neither had ever been out with anyone before (and didn't really have the prospect of doing so) and the guy was openly obsessed with another girl (whose name he carved into his arm with a compas). I thought, and still think, they're going out largely because they think it's a "cool" thing to do / it makes them better than people. They can't handle being away from eachother either. They deny they've wasted their teenage years, and to be honest I don't think they have, but I doubt they'll last.
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tishysquishy
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#32
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I was in a 2 year relationship from the age of 14. I don't regret any of it. My friends had more troubles than i did on the boy front because they didn't have stable relationships/ they were worried they'd never get a boyfriend etc etc. I didn't have to worry about anything like that because I had a boyfriend that I loved. Because it was so stable and sure, it was one less thing to have ''teen angst'' about, so i could concentrate on my friends and studies.
So keeping school under control, and being there for my friends, and finally the stable relationship made me feel complete, and content with myself as a person from a young age. I don't hate myself, i don't think i should change, I don't have ''angst''.

Although we have broken up, I am still very good friends with him. I think long term young relationships with the right person is a great thing to develope your personality.

(ok what i just typed is very 'Trisha' but, meh, its true )
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lou p lou
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#33
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(Original post by lessthanthree)
I think people grow up a lot during that period of their lives, and I'd be surprised if a couple who got together in year 10 still had the same ideals as one another after year 12.
i guess it's one of those things that suits some people. we went to a wedding on saturday and the couple had got together when they were 15, 11 years later (having survived college, different unis and getting proper jobs) they're really happy.

lou xxx
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_poptart_
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#34
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#34
(Original post by blissy)
It's easier said than done
Exactly what I realised, but I definitely respect any couple that manages to make it last throughout uni years
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Joey12
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#35
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Ive been with my boyfriend since the start of Year 10, and we're now both awaiting A-Level results and about to go off to Uni. So been together almost 4 years, I couldn't imagine splitting up with him becoz we're going to Uni, it sounds so ridiculous, splitting up with sumone ur madly in love with and have such a solid and stable relationship with (in my case anyway) just bcoz ur going to Uni - unthinkable! But then again I guess everyone's different. I dont think ive missed out on anything being with sumone for so long, we click together and Ive never met anyone like him. I dont want to split up with him and im not jealous of single girls bcoz i know that for me, id never find anyone better than him.
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Jack0
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#36
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(Original post by Joey12)
Ive been with my boyfriend since the start of Year 10, and we're now both awaiting A-Level results and about to go off to Uni. So been together almost 4 years, I couldn't imagine splitting up with him becoz we're going to Uni, it sounds so ridiculous, splitting up with sumone ur madly in love with and have such a solid and stable relationship with (in my case anyway) just bcoz ur going to Uni - unthinkable! But then again I guess everyone's different. I dont think ive missed out on anything being with sumone for so long, we click together and Ive never met anyone like him. I dont want to split up with him and im not jealous of single girls bcoz i know that for me, id never find anyone better than him.
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mrcheese
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#37
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(Original post by Joey12)
Ive been with my boyfriend since the start of Year 10, and we're now both awaiting A-Level results and about to go off to Uni. So been together almost 4 years, I couldn't imagine splitting up with him becoz we're going to Uni, it sounds so ridiculous, splitting up with sumone ur madly in love with and have such a solid and stable relationship with (in my case anyway) just bcoz ur going to Uni - unthinkable! But then again I guess everyone's different. I dont think ive missed out on anything being with sumone for so long, we click together and Ive never met anyone like him. I dont want to split up with him and im not jealous of single girls bcoz i know that for me, id never find anyone better than him.
I think that is really cool and I honestly wish you the best of luck. But i dunno though, I love my boyfriend, and I've never met anyone like him who I can be so intimate and honest with, but an important part of going to uni for me is to have a fresh start and be independant. It's noting to do with wanting to meet someone else, or have random sex or anything , it's just that I'd find it hard to feel that independance if i have an emotional attachment somewhere else to think and worry about.
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ciara
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#38
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I think it's fine as long as you keep it in perspective and realise that you might not always be right together. However, the younger you are the more difficult it is to see that. I think if you're in a long term relationship for most of your school days, you will, almost inevitably, be missing out on quite a lot of fun stuff. Ok, so you'll be an expert on long term relationships, but what about all the other parts of going out with someone - the flirtation and the getting to know each other? If it's too intense (as first loves often are) you might drift from friends and narrow your range of interests. I know it can work, but I think a balance is always good.

I was in a pretty serious relationship for just over a year when I was 15, and despite me now having that experience of love and stuff, I'm not sure it was a good thing. He totally wasn't the one for me even though I thought he was at the time. I don't regret it though, cos I've had a mixture of experiences. After that ended I was single for ages, had a few short lived relationships, a lot of embarrassing pulls... Now I'm in another long term relationship which is great, and to me I get more valuable experiences from being with him to being single.

But my point is, if I hadn't been forced to break up with my first boyfriend (uni) I would have missed out on so much!!

Cxx
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Joey12
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#39
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I dont think i will be missing out on 'independence'. Having a boyfriend that i trust explicitly and who trusts me equally, gives me freedom at Uni, obv not to hook up with other guys lol but make new mates. At times at home, i have felt as tho maybe i cud be hanging around with some of my mates instead of being with my boyfriend and Uni will give me both the freedom to make new friends and let my hair down whilst having the security of a long term boyfriend. Besides the break apart will hopefully make us stronger and if it doesn't then i guess we'll split up but im definately not going to do the splitting up first before ive even got there. I have no desire to become single if it means breaking up with my boyfriend. And i wont have lost any 'independence', just by going to Uni i will have gained some and ill have the freedom to just hang around with mates.
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mrcheese
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#40
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i see your point, maybe your right. I just can't seem to see it happening though (for me that is). Maybe it'll just be strange knowing we're commited, but not seeing each other for long periods. I don't even like being away from him for a week! And i'd miss him either way at uni, but if we're not together then at least i can start getting over it. But i suppose there are a lot of holidays, which won't be easy..

I suppose it will be hard not having any affection for long peroids of time as well , though i suppose splitting before uni doesn't guarentee that... Maybe it's just a long time to have what i would consider a disfunctional relationship (ie long distance, away for long periods of time). It's 5, well really 7 years for me as i'm doing architecture.

I think all these niggly things would just sour the experience for me, I'd rather just leave off for uni and see where i am afterwards...

O, this is really just out of curiosity btw, because ive been thinking about it, how would you feel if, purely by chance, you ended up at the same uni (thats if he's going to uni)?
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