long term relationships at a young age Watch

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leannemarie
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#41
Report 13 years ago
#41
I've been with my bf for 18 months now but during that time I have gone through some really bad things that have made us really close. Luckily we both make plenty of time for our friends and appreciate that we can't always see each other as much as we want because even though we're both in the same school, we're both very busy. Generally we spend 1-2 weekends a month together so that we can still do other things. We have also just spent a month apart when my bf went trekking in Africa, and it was nice to have someone to miss in the sense that neither of us were pining after each other. We're applying to some of the same unis but that's just a coincidence and we're not going to split up just because of uni but trying to predict the future is impossible.
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Cazzi
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#42
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#42
By the age of 17 ive felt i had experienced all there is to experience relationship wise. and i was ready to settle with one bloke by the time i met my current boyfriend.

we got together just after my 17th birthday, im 18 and a half now and we're still amazingly strong, and i cant imagine us splitting up because we are completly perfect.

i understand people change over time, but it depends when you change to have a 'adult' state of mind relationship wise. For me it was back then, so i feel i am able to have an adult relationship now.

it depends on the people, but my parents met when they were 15! and its my mums 40th birthday tomoro and they are still together!

it can work!
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happydinosaur
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#43
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#43
It is all very easy to say oh yes our relationship is so stable that we will be able to survive a long distance relationship because of university but being stable isn't everything. My last relationship was solid-we never had fights or said things we later regretted to each other. When we were together everything was perfect but university does change people. As people meet other people and do different things their views of the world and their aspirations in life change. Someone who thought they wanted to do one thing may change their whole outlook. Personally I wouldn't want to stand in the way of someone I care about doing something so I feel in some situations it is only right to just let go. It is a sad fact of life but sometimes people grow apart even if you don't expect it will ever happen.

Call me cynical if you wish...
Helenia
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#44
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(Original post by sparklyteacosie)
It is all very easy to say oh yes our relationship is so stable that we will be able to survive a long distance relationship because of university but being stable isn't everything. My last relationship was solid-we never had fights or said things we later regretted to each other. When we were together everything was perfect but university does change people. As people meet other people and do different things their views of the world and their aspirations in life change. Someone who thought they wanted to do one thing may change their whole outlook. Personally I wouldn't want to stand in the way of someone I care about doing something so I feel in some situations it is only right to just let go. It is a sad fact of life but sometimes people grow apart even if you don't expect it will ever happen.

Call me cynical if you wish...
People say the same things every year about uni and I don't dount for a second that they genuinely believe all that they say about staying together. But most people really don't anticipate how much of a change of lifestyle, attitude and feelings university brings about. A few people survive it, and all well for them. A lot of people don't.
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happydinosaur
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#45
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#45
(Original post by Helenia)
People say the same things every year about uni and I don't dount for a second that they genuinely believe all that they say about staying together. But most people really don't anticipate how much of a change of lifestyle, attitude and feelings university brings about. A few people survive it, and all well for them. A lot of people don't.
I admit to being one of those hopefuls last year although I was very much aware of how things would change. I think that is why I am still very close with my ex. I didn't and haven't stopped loving him but I just couldn't carry on being happy when I felt less than even second or third best to the wonders of college life and all the new friends and new experiences. Some do survive yes, probably not because thier relationships are stronger but just because of circumstances.
Joey12
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#46
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Yea im not saying that we'll definately survive Uni, but I dont wna just throw in the towel now so to speak before ive even got there bcoz he means so much to me. Id rather just wait and see what happens there and make decisions based on the 'here and now'.
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Joey12
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#47
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(Original post by mrcheese)
O, this is really just out of curiosity btw, because ive been thinking about it, how would you feel if, purely by chance, you ended up at the same uni (thats if he's going to uni)?
Lol, i think that was directed at me?

Well as it happens im hopefully off to Nottingham in Sept if i get the grades and he will be off to Loughborough. Although not the same Uni, they're pretty damn close but i dont think id wna b at the same Uni bcoz then i may feel restricted in terms of meeting and making new friends.
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LittleFrog579
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#48
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#48
im 18 and im in a 5month relationship with my current boyfriend and we really love each other lots, we were friends for a bout a year before we started dating. anyway i really do think he is the one. i've had 1 boyfriend before him when i was 16 that lasted 3days lol, but i dont know...i dont really feel like losing out on my teenage years or whatever but at the same time i do kinda feel like i am. and its really doing my head in >.<
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lauzt
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#49
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#49
I'm 18 and have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. I'm going to university next month and am not going to be naieve : we will prob break up. If not because of the lack of time i will have for him then simply because we are at different places in our lives. He is 22, has a job and just doesnt get the whole uni experience having never been himself. I hope that we stay together because i love him with all my heart but i'm being realistic about it and am preparing myself in case we do break up.
I do feel as if I've missed out on my teenage years in a sense. Sometimes when i hear my friends talking about going on dates i get a bit sad coz i've only ever had one first date. But then i remember how happy i am with my bf and realise i'm not missing out at all: i'm experiencing something even better. Thus long term relationships at a young age? My opinion - why not?
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mrcheese
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#50
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#50
(Original post by Joey12)
Lol, i think that was directed at me?

Well as it happens im hopefully off to Nottingham in Sept if i get the grades and he will be off to Loughborough. Although not the same Uni, they're pretty damn close but i dont think id wna b at the same Uni bcoz then i may feel restricted in terms of meeting and making new friends.
lol yeah that was aimed at you, sorry i forgot to quote
That's pretty much how I feel too, it just feels mean to not want it to happen
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Joey12
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#51
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Nah, i think he understands that I wudnt want us to go to the same Uni. I think having my boyfriend in a new and maybe 'scary' situation would make me more and more likely to hang around with him and thus distance myself from potential new friends. But being at a nearby Uni is probably helpful coz we can visit regularly but i can see how i get along without him.
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