Overcoming Shyness

Is there any way to overcome shyness? Most of my family are not shy, my grandad runs a shop and he can stand for 20 minutes and talk to a total stranger. But if the stranger spoke to me, I would probably look at them as though they were speaking a foreign language, I dont know what makes me so shy, but is there any way of overcoming it, and is anyone else in the same situation? Once I have met someone and spoke to them for about an hour, I am usually OK then. :smile:

Reply 1

ZigZag

11

Shaun O'Keefe

Is there any way to overcome shyness? Most of my family are not shy, my grandad runs a shop and he can stand for 20 minutes and talk to a total stranger. But if the stranger spoke to me, I would probably look at them as though they were speaking a foreign language, I dont know what makes me so shy, but is there any way of overcoming it, and is anyone else in the same situation? Once I have met someone and spoke to them for about an hour, I am usually OK then. :smile:

I became more confident as I became happier. Perhaps look into yourself for a source of low self-esteem and try to take steps to remedy that.

Reply 2

Amlea

1

Though i'm still shy i've found that over the last year i have slowly started to overcome it. Its probably because i am happier with myself as an individual and i'm not as awkward as i used to feel. Just think of the positives about yourself and remember theres no reason why no one shouldn't like you whether your shy or not if your a genuinely nice person.

Reply 3

need_money

9

I'm naturally a pretty shy person as well but i really try to hide that and seem more confident just by simply forcing myself. I can't really explain what you do, cos it is simply just reminding yourself to act more confident, remember that theres no need to be shy and just... FORCE yourself goddamnit!!! :biggrin:

Reply 4

Legend22

OP

2

I am not shy with people I know, it is just when I meet new people I am a bag of nerves, sometimes I am OK, its just I need to overcome this pathetic fear, :biggrin:

Reply 5

Lychgate

Just remember that everyone is in exactly the same situation as you.

Reply 6

Legend22

OP

2

Good point, I havent really looked at it from that point of view, its all about confidence really.

Reply 7

Champagne Breakfast

16

I once heard from a very famous doctor that the way to overcome shyness is to streak through a park nearby yellling 'LOOK AT ME' - try it and tell me how it works out

Reply 8

Lychgate

Shaun O'Keefe

Good point, I havent really looked at it from that point of view, its all about confidence really.

It is, but that confidence needs a footing from which to stem. The problem with shyness is that one views strangers as a "Them"; an external and opposing body which is possibly hostile, thus you recline into a shell because that is where you feel most comfortable and safe. Therefore, overcoming this requires viewing those you have never met before as being the same as you because, in essence, they are: you have never met them and they have never met you - you are in exactly the same situation.

Reclining is an act of negativity on your part, which means the other person has to compensate with an over abundance of positivity to sustain the balance, thus draining them and immediately getting off "on the wrong foot" so to speak. If, however, you open positively there is no need for them to be overly positive, so neither of you has been drained yet the balance is still kept. Both of you win!

Reply 9

Legend22

OP

2

The Ace is Back

I once heard from a very famous doctor that the way to overcome shyness is to streak through a park nearby yellling 'LOOK AT ME' - try it and tell me how it works out

I'll give that one a miss. :smile:

Reply 10

Champagne Breakfast

16

lol - your loss :smile:

Reply 11

vin

15

this feels familiar. Im not as shy I as I once was but I stil am slightly. Not really sure how to overcome it. Maybe it goes as you get older? no seems unlikely.

Reply 12

Mustard-man

18

Shaun O'Keefe

Is there any way to overcome shyness? Most of my family are not shy, my grandad runs a shop and he can stand for 20 minutes and talk to a total stranger. But if the stranger spoke to me, I would probably look at them as though they were speaking a foreign language, I dont know what makes me so shy, but is there any way of overcoming it, and is anyone else in the same situation? Once I have met someone and spoke to them for about an hour, I am usually OK then. :smile:

are you shy in school? i.e don't participate in lessons

Reply 13

Legend22

OP

2

I participate in lessons, I am actually very loud and topical in lessons and I am a popular person in my classes - its just meeting new people and strangers I dont like. At the start of Year 10 (just gone) I was dead shy, but I made loads of new mates and now I am going into Year 11 and I feel a lot more confident than I did this time last year.

Reply 14

Crimson Black

13

Get a job in at a bar or in McDonalds or something - it forces you to talking to complete strangers. I was shy (really shy - I didn't even want to talk to my grandparents...), then I got myself a job at McDonalds to counter it (on advice of my parents). I can now laugh and joke with even the sourliest of customer... :biggrin:

...and, more importantly, I am "shy-less"... :smile:

Reply 15

rottcodd

3

as you get older I've found the problem definately gets less and less - I know how irritating it is to here that though, when you want a remedy now! I think when you go to uni, have a gap year, or start work, you'll become more confident because at that age people are more accepting. It's all about accepting yourself as well, without sounding cheesy. Try forcing yourself to do things you wouldn't normally do, but would probably enjoy if you weren't shy - perhaps volunteering or something like that. Start off with little things, then the problem because more and more insignificant.

Reply 16

ponjavic

1

ZigZag

I became more confident as I became happier. Perhaps look into yourself for a source of low self-esteem and try to take steps to remedy that.

Reply 17

porkwings

rent the movie 'Harold and Kumar go to white castle'

Think about what you are going to say, and say the words without forcing them, unless you want to look like Harold did in the elevator.

You don't wanna look like that...

Reply 18

HaIrYm0nSt3r!

as u grow older u'll come over da problem...but u know wot sometimes being shy is good....
btw who thinks i'm a loser? :biggrin:

man i am realllyyy depressed 2day...i'm losin it...i get crazy i tell ya crazy...ny1 else get these attacks here?? :frown:

:

Reply 19

IZZY!

15

i used to be shy, but then i thought i shouldnt be shy, if i want to learn things in life. so i started to try to talk to people. now even at gym, whilst sitting in sauna, i just talk to any random person about anything.hehe

Overcoming Shyness

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