(Original post by third_and_first)
I said some nasty things in that thread about fat people, and it got me thinking.
When I said I'm self obsessed and hate people, I was sort of joking, but at the same time, you know, it's quite true. I've been sort of pondering my life today and realised I don't really have any close 'friends'. I have mates I mess around with, but no-one I would share my feelings with, and this makes me sad.
I'm a horrible person. I'm intolerant, arrogant and self-obsessed. I used to love this but recently it's been getting to me in the lonely summer months when I don't have schoolwork to keep my mind busy.
Can anyone help?
I fear my mind is descending and falling deep into the murky lifeless world of depression.
That you wish to change means that you are not a bad person at all, you want to be different and realise that you may not be behaving in the best way. It takes a lot to realise that, most people never do! So I applaud you for realising that your current behaviour is not the most social behaviour imginable and that you would like to be a nicer person and so have more out of life and make other people's life better too. If you want to win friends you've got to learn to be more tolerant, less arrogand and less self-obsessed I'm afraid
You can learn this however, you aren't stuck being who you are, it will just take a bit of selfcontrol, but seeing as you realise you have a bit of a social problem and are smart enough to realise that I'm sure you're smart enough to change too - it doesn't take that much.
Try and teach yourself that when someone has an opinion that differs from yours to just bite back the words you were going to say. Don't say anything, just listen to them and try to understand their point of view and ask questions. You won't get over your arrogant stance by shouting out that damning or criticising remark you were going to. You must learn to understand the other person's point of view - because when you do learn to see their point of view, even if you still don't agree withit, you will be less likely to say something hurtful as you will have a better understanding of the other person and their feelings on this issue and it will make you more tolerant to see that there are reasons other's think the way they do.
Try and put yourself in their position, try and empathise with them.
Also, don't be quick to criticise or condemn people, it just hurts them and it doesn't help you. It's important that you realise this - it doesn't help you at all. All you have done is made the other person feel defensive and made them angry at you. So all you have won is some bad feelings towards yourself, certainly no love - all in exchange for getting something out of your system all in a hurry.
Also, last tip, it helps to smile - just smile at people and they'll like you much more for it. Tell them that you appreciate what they do for you or others, don't just think they must know you feel that way, people love to be told they are doing something right - so if you meet someone who does something you admire, tell them so and make them happy