Last night... Watch

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third_and_first
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#21
Report Thread starter 13 years ago
#21
(Original post by smeets)
Without going OFF TOPIC, I find it very rich that you are unkind about fat people then ask for help, indeed sympathy
yeah, I made this post because I felt remorseful about doing that...
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natcho
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#22
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#22
Maybe you are the chosen one who will strike a balance in the Force.
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Sami C
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#23
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#23
Maybe you are the chosen one who will strike a balance in the Force.
Indeed. That's what it sounded like. Weird.
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unfinished sympathy
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#24
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#24
(Original post by JonnyB)
I think most guys just chuckled to themselves and went to another thread.

I disagree!

I agree, it helps to bring change. Did for me anyway.
PROBABLY
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Kew
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#25
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#25
To the original poster - Well, look on the bright side. At least you've looked within yourself and glimpsed your worst defects (or think you have, at any rate). If you're sure you mean it - it's perfectly possible you're being too harsh on yourself, after all - then you are well positioned to try to make yourself a better person.
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Adarah
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#26
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#26
(Original post by third_and_first)
I said some nasty things in that thread about fat people, and it got me thinking.
When I said I'm self obsessed and hate people, I was sort of joking, but at the same time, you know, it's quite true. I've been sort of pondering my life today and realised I don't really have any close 'friends'. I have mates I mess around with, but no-one I would share my feelings with, and this makes me sad.

I'm a horrible person. I'm intolerant, arrogant and self-obsessed. I used to love this but recently it's been getting to me in the lonely summer months when I don't have schoolwork to keep my mind busy.

Can anyone help?
I fear my mind is descending and falling deep into the murky lifeless world of depression.
That you wish to change means that you are not a bad person at all, you want to be different and realise that you may not be behaving in the best way. It takes a lot to realise that, most people never do! So I applaud you for realising that your current behaviour is not the most social behaviour imginable and that you would like to be a nicer person and so have more out of life and make other people's life better too. If you want to win friends you've got to learn to be more tolerant, less arrogand and less self-obsessed I'm afraid .
You can learn this however, you aren't stuck being who you are, it will just take a bit of selfcontrol, but seeing as you realise you have a bit of a social problem and are smart enough to realise that I'm sure you're smart enough to change too - it doesn't take that much.
Try and teach yourself that when someone has an opinion that differs from yours to just bite back the words you were going to say. Don't say anything, just listen to them and try to understand their point of view and ask questions. You won't get over your arrogant stance by shouting out that damning or criticising remark you were going to. You must learn to understand the other person's point of view - because when you do learn to see their point of view, even if you still don't agree withit, you will be less likely to say something hurtful as you will have a better understanding of the other person and their feelings on this issue and it will make you more tolerant to see that there are reasons other's think the way they do.
Try and put yourself in their position, try and empathise with them.
Also, don't be quick to criticise or condemn people, it just hurts them and it doesn't help you. It's important that you realise this - it doesn't help you at all. All you have done is made the other person feel defensive and made them angry at you. So all you have won is some bad feelings towards yourself, certainly no love - all in exchange for getting something out of your system all in a hurry.
Also, last tip, it helps to smile - just smile at people and they'll like you much more for it. Tell them that you appreciate what they do for you or others, don't just think they must know you feel that way, people love to be told they are doing something right - so if you meet someone who does something you admire, tell them so and make them happy
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Lush Law
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#27
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#27
It's hard to make friends when you see everyone around you with lots of friends. One of my ex-friends [but we don't talk about that...] didn't have many friends at all and got incredibly lonely and depressed at times. I always used to encourage him to have more confidence and not be afraid to be witty or say what he was thinking.

At the end of the day it's all about being accepting of people, being respectful of other people and being confident/chilled out at the same time.

I have quite a lot of people I'd class as associates, the sort of people I'll meet up with to go to the cinema or for a coffee, then theres the 'clique' lol, who I hang around with a fair bit, and about 4 close friends - but still I find even with these 4 it took me a while to tell them things about myself that I wanted to. For two years I've wanted my friends to know something about me but I felt I couldn't. I found it hard having to lie to them when they asked what I was doing friday/saturday night, especially if I was seeing someone. I would have to make excuses up such as "oohhh, family party", "can't afford it" when none of those excuses were at all true, and they knew it.

Ahhh well, having friends is so hard sometimes!
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Sophdoph
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#28
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#28
Having friends is difficult. Because I went away to uni and one group of my friends all stayed at home, I felt really pushed out. However when my dad died, they were all here for me when I really needed them, and we're still doing things together now but I don't feel as close to them as I do. I think I'm fairly comfortable with that now, it's simple..the less you see people, the less close you are.

Uni is where you make, I think, realy good friends who you stay very close to. I've been much more open with them, and they've been so good to me. A few of my school friends I'm also very close to, and I can turn to them..but in total theres only about 4 people I'd really turn to if I was in need, apart from my mum or my boyfriend.
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