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I love him but he's Christian

Please don't turn this into a philosophical discussion about morals and religion, I just want an answer to my dilemma. Preferably by those who are Muslims, because I need some background knowledge on my religion.

So recently, I broke up with the love of my life. I feel convinced that this guy was put on Earth for me to make me happy and complete. But the problem is, I started thinking that, if he's so right for me, why is he Christian? Because I thought it was haraam for a Muslim girl to marry a Christian guy (if your reply will involve this, please let me know why this actually is) and not only that, despite us going out for a whole year, I have never kissed him - because its wrong (Islamically), or so I believe. We got to talking about this problem and I told him it's because of my beliefs. I eventually broke it off with him (despite he didn't want to, yet he had no solution to the problem) because of the differences in our religion.

Now all I want to know is, from an Islamic point of view, did I do the right thing? And if I plan to marry him, would it be okay if I could kiss him? But ultimately, is it even okay to marry a Christian boy?

I'd like some answers because I'm suffering here...
Thanks

Reply 1

-WhySoSerious?

17

I think this is probably less of a religious issue, and more of a cultural one [as there will people people who say yes and no]. How forward thinking are your parents?

Reply 2

User256055

OP

-WhySoSerious?

I think this is probably less of a religious issue, and more of a cultural one [as there will people people who say yes and no]. How forward thinking are your parents?

Not so forward thinking. And yeah, I'm sort of concerned that might be the issue. That's why I needed the Islamic foreground knowledge of things, you know? However, if it's a cultural thing, I'm screwed. :frown:

Reply 3

Dirac Delta Function

14

sonya_x

Please don't turn this into a philosophical discussion about morals and religion, I just want an answer to my dilemma. Preferably by those who are Muslims, because I need some background knowledge on my religion.

So recently, I broke up with the love of my life. I feel convinced that this guy was put on Earth for me to make me happy and complete. But the problem is, I started thinking that, if he's so right for me, why is he Christian? Because I thought it was haraam for a Muslim girl to marry a Christian guy (if your reply will involve this, please let me know why this actually is) and not only that, despite us going out for a whole year, I have never kissed him - because its wrong (Islamically), or so I believe. We got to talking about this problem and I told him it's because of my beliefs. I eventually broke it off with him (despite he didn't want to, yet he had no solution to the problem) because of the differences in our religion.

Now all I want to know is, from an Islamic point of view, did I do the right thing?

yes

sonya_x

And if I plan to marry him, would it be okay if I could kiss him?

No

sonya_x

But ultimately, is it even okay to marry a Christian boy?

No

sonya_x

I'd like some answers because I'm suffering here...
Thanks

You'll ge tover it. Plenty of Muslim fish in the sea.

Reply 4

semiotically

parents > Boyfriend... run a mile

boyfriend > parents... stay together

Reply 5

DJ AgnieszkaA

15

no, he is kuffir
the right course of action is C4

Reply 6

User256055

OP

DJ AgnieszkaA

no, he is kuffir
the right course of action is C4

C4?

Reply 7

Dirac Delta Function

14

sonya_x

C4?

C4 is an explosive. He is saying you are a terrorist.

Reply 8

Music-Ista

I'm not sure about the religion/cultural side but it seems that if thats what you're going by, then you have to get over it.

But really the question is, whats more important to you; your religion or your happiness?

If he is the love of your life, you will not get over him, you'll just have to learn to live with it.

Reply 9

User256055

OP

Dirac Delta Function

C4 is an explosive. He is saying you are a terrorist.

Thanks for that. :yes:

Reply 10

Mithra

2

Surely the question should be, if you really love him that much, would any God have created him in order to make you have to break up with him and suffer rather than being with him and being happy?

Reply 11

SiaSiaSia

16

I think in an Islamic point of view you did the right thing*, though really it's up to you how far you follow your religion.

*My GCSE Islam is really rusty now!

Reply 12

Margaret Thatcher

11

So, you're putting the word of an dusty, anachronistic book (which will most likely turn out to be untrue) over the one chance you have in this life of true love? :teehee:

Reply 13

candymakestheworldgoround

sonya_x

Please don't turn this into a philosophical discussion about morals and religion, I just want an answer to my dilemma. Preferably by those who are Muslims, because I need some background knowledge on my religion.

So recently, I broke up with the love of my life. I feel convinced that this guy was put on Earth for me to make me happy and complete. But the problem is, I started thinking that, if he's so right for me, why is he Christian? Because I thought it was haraam for a Muslim girl to marry a Christian guy (if your reply will involve this, please let me know why this actually is) and not only that, despite us going out for a whole year, I have never kissed him - because its wrong (Islamically), or so I believe. We got to talking about this problem and I told him it's because of my beliefs. I eventually broke it off with him (despite he didn't want to, yet he had no solution to the problem) because of the differences in our religion.

Now all I want to know is, from an Islamic point of view, did I do the right thing? And if I plan to marry him, would it be okay if I could kiss him? But ultimately, is it even okay to marry a Christian boy?

I'd like some answers because I'm suffering here...
Thanks

i'm not neccessarily the most informed Muslim out there by any means, but as far as i know, i've always thought that we, as Muslim women, should marry Muslim guys because generally if children are brought into the picture, they follow the dad's religion... of course this isn't always the case but that's what i've been told... that's why it's okay for a Muslim guy to marry a wife of a different faith, as long as he fulfills his duty as a Muslim to spread his religion to his children, but Muslim women are meant to marry only Muslim men.

I guess because that whole kids-following-the-dad's-religion thing isn't always gonna be the case, it depends on how you think your future would go, if you did end up marrying him and if you do plan to have kids- if they'll be raised as Muslims then i'm not sure! (as i've said, i'm definitely not the most informed, just trying to help with what i do know!)

Also i've been told that what we're supposed to primarily look for in a partner is their faith, and that that's like the most important thing in someone you plan to spend your life with BUT that is way easier said than done... from my own experience i'm generally not attracted to Muslim guys anyway :s-smilie:

- i just figured i'd point this out cause it's a little snippet of what i do know about the Islamic perspective on this anyway!

my family is muslim but in MY particular culture, they woudn't really give 2 sh*ts whether he was christian or whatever, as long as he was a good guy and i was happy (i'm arab, my whole family is quite liberal and stuff) so it depends a lot on culture too, i dunno where you're from so yeah, but how strict are your parents?

btw do you go st.charles in ladbroke grove, if you do OMG WHAT A SMALL WORLD LOL

Reply 16

ttx

13

sonya_x

So recently, I broke up with the love of my life. I feel convinced that this guy was put on Earth for me to make me happy and complete. But the problem is, I started thinking that, if he's so right for me, why is he Christian?

How religious are you ? - if sticking to islam is important to you personally, then the only "permissible" route is if he converted to islam.

Reply 17

Verne_Lundquist

10

you did the right thing,

you clearly need a muslim man who will have no problem beating you senseless if you disobey him.

keep up the traditions!

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

If you really love him, maybe you could convince him to convert to Islam (if he also agrees with it of course) and then you could marry him. Cos he has to be Muslim for you to marry him. But people commit mistakes and learn from them. Imagine if you do end up marrying him now and then you become mroe religious and end up divorcing. Theres more guys out there like DD said.

Reply 19

Krakatoa

17

And here I thought religion was supposed to bring people together...

I love him but he's Christian

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