G/F has Consistant Problems? Watch

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tillgii
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#1
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#1
Since ive known her she has been having personal problem (family and life).
Before I even knew her she used to have problem.
Anyway before we started going out she used to be able to express some of these problems to me, even the really deep ones.

Then when we started going out she was able to still tell me, but in the last 3-4 months she hasn’t told me anything about her problems. The last 2 months there has been at least 4-5 problems where she would just want to deal on her own and upon asking her what’s the problem, she would either say there isn’t one or get annoyed for asking.

Ive gotten use to just being quiet and letting her be, but should I really be doing this. I ve tried ever so hard, but its a routine it seems.

Just want to know if any one else encountered this, and how they dealt with it?
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Glory
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#2
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a girls view on this, is when you start getting concerned about the relationship, that your being too troublesome or you feel your not being a good gf or you feel uve cheated by just looking at another guy. You feel you can no longer talk about it to your guy, incase he rejected you or hates you.

It might not be the case, but its hard to discuss relationship problems with your other half.
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tillgii
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Defo aint relationship, as I said before we even went out she had major issues regarding family stuff which I used to try and always make tell me.
Im sure it aint relationship porblems, as this is what has been going on, in and out, throughout our relationship.

Just she aint talking to me, as her trust has been abused in the past, so I dunno. The fact she used to talk and now shes quiet again.

I can assume 100 things but only one out of the 100 is going to be correct.
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JoeCool_Lemming
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#4
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Sometimes it's hard to talk to someone you care about if there's a problem, because you're worried they might judge you or think differently. If she doesn't want to talk, you can't force her - but as long as you let her know you're there to talk to if she wants to.
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bikerx23
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the same thing happened to me before, and i tried to do something about it and she just got really paranoid and psychotic - would advise you do something quickly or you may start becoming the blame for everything (from personal experience)
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tillgii
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Lol nah she aint the type to blame me, she thanks me for being patient and shes always sorry after shes gone through her stage without any justification though.
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bikerx23
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#7
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just hug her then - like hours and hours - and eventually she will feel secure enough to talk (and hope now that she doesn't have a TSR acount...)
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tillgii
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(Original post by bikerx23)
just hug her then - like hours and hours - and eventually she will feel secure enough to talk (and hope now that she doesn't have a TSR acount...)
I wish I could, but she lives up north and I live down south. Oh well patience is the game it seems...
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Juno
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Maybe she loves you so much that she doesn't want to burden you with her problems in case you get fed up and leave her.
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Logan
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#10
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I enjoy myself listening to a womans problems and trying to help her.. so maybe thats just me. Its good that you let her talk to you about her problems, it can ease her up a bit you know.
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thegame26
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#11
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(Original post by tillgii)
Since ive known her she has been having personal problem (family and life).
Before I even knew her she used to have problem.
Anyway before we started going out she used to be able to express some of these problems to me, even the really deep ones.

Then when we started going out she was able to still tell me, but in the last 3-4 months she hasn’t told me anything about her problems. The last 2 months there has been at least 4-5 problems where she would just want to deal on her own and upon asking her what’s the problem, she would either say there isn’t one or get annoyed for asking.

Ive gotten use to just being quiet and letting her be, but should I really be doing this. I ve tried ever so hard, but its a routine it seems.

Just want to know if any one else encountered this, and how they dealt with it?
btw u sound like a well cool bf, just b there thats all u can do

most guys wouldnt even think there was a issue let anlone worry if he was helping.
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SlyPie
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#12
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Why don't you get her drunk so she'll talk to you??

Actually though, try discussing this with her and refuse to stop until she tells you what is wrong. It seems that something is truly burdening her, and she probably doesn't want to become an annoying girl b*tching to you about it.
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Saffie
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#13
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(Original post by bikerx23)
just hug her then - like hours and hours - and eventually she will feel secure enough to talk (and hope now that she doesn't have a TSR acount...)
That's *so* sweet!! :love:
-

Just be there for her and don't let her cut you off. I can see why she doesn't want to talk about her inner-most feelings, I think she has to overcome them herself. Be normal towards her, don't always ask whats up because she'll start associating you with her personal problems and won't want to see you. Show her you love her and that she doesn't have to be consumed in depressive thoughts etc. :hugs:
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tillgii
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(Original post by Saffie)
That's *so* sweet!! :love:
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Just be there for her and don't let her cut you off. I can see why she doesn't want to talk about her inner-most feelings, I think she has to overcome them herself. Be normal towards her, don't always ask whats up because she'll start associating you with her personal problems and won't want to see you. Show her you love her and that she doesn't have to be consumed in depressive thoughts etc. :hugs:
The part im really finding hard is cause its a long distance relationship we are normally on the phone. When shes down shes totally silent. At first I was able to talk to her (start of the relationship and ramble on) now I try but cause she hardly participates it gets me down and I cant think of anything to say.
How do I over come this and try chat somthing?
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