Turn on thread page Beta
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Imagine if his family and friends were saying derogatory things about you behind you back. I'm not saying that they are, but I think that in most people's minds, this would be deemed incredibly racist. It confuses me that there are still people in the world who seem to recognise racism less if it's aimed at a white person, because white people are the majority in this country.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by nige)
    You clearly have the sense to realise that your friends/cousins are being ignorant and racist. Their intolerance is illogical, there is no reason you shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone of any skin-colour. That is, if all they're basing their negative opinion of him on is his skin-colour. Presuming this, you have no reason to listen to them about this - so don't.
    Hold on, we dont know if it has anything strictly to do with race. Her friends/cousins may welcome a white "wannabe gangsta" with open arms, just as I wouldnt look twice at a "wannabe gangsta" of any colour.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I think Nige was making an assumption, given the thread title. It's what I assumed. However, they are still ignorant and prejudiced in my opinion if it's about the lifestyle.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    For some reason black woman/white guy is quite rare. I have no idea why though.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by NDGAARONDI)
    For some reason black woman/white guy is quite rare. I have no idea why though.
    Because, in general, black women believe black men to be make better spouses. Whites being the majority, you are more likely to find a white woman breaking with the trend among other white women, than black women towards white men. Testosterone levels are also higher in black women than white women which may also suggest that they are attracted by males with higher testosterone levels than white women.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Vienna)
    Because, in general, black women believe black men to be make better spouses. Whites being the majority, you are more likely to find a white woman breaking with the trend among other white women, than black women towards white men. Testosterone levels are also higher in black women than white women which may also suggest that they are attracted by males with higher testosterone levels than white women.
    Thanks for that. I am aware that black women are least likely to marry outside of their own group as I found out via the Office for National Statistics.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by NDGAARONDI)
    For some reason black woman/white guy is quite rare. I have no idea why though.
    actually, I think its rising. The media however, always take it from white girl/black man stereotype so its less though of.


    "Imagine if his family and friends were saying derogatory things about you behind you back. I'm not saying that they are, but I think that in most people's minds, this would be deemed incredibly racist. It confuses me that there are still people in the world who seem to recognise racism less if it's aimed at a white person, because white people are the majority in this country."
    That is so true. I dont understand why black people can take the mickey out of white people e.g white chicks (what if the film was called black chicks?)
    and it is deemed suitable.
    Black comics too do stand up offensive comedy about the "middle class white man"
    However if a white person did this, there would be outrage!
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Student_Bum)
    actually, I think its rising. The media however, always take it from white girl/black man stereotype so its less though of.
    I think it is rising but very steadily. Might have some cultural issues involved too. The media does blow the white girl/black man out of proportion though.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by englishrose)
    Imagine if his family and friends were saying derogatory things about you behind you back. I'm not saying that they are, but I think that in most people's minds, this would be deemed incredibly racist. It confuses me that there are still people in the world who seem to recognise racism less if it's aimed at a white person, because white people are the majority in this country.
    I know what you mean. But I think it may have something to do with the fact that people find it more acceptable when the majority are being called derogatory names etc rather than the minority. This may perhaps be because it is quite unlikely that a white person will suffer much in this white society if a black person chooses to be ignorant and call him names - I don't know maybe its because most people are more aware that this is simply ********, whereas on the other hand, many people who have never met a black person may take this literally and be prejudiced/discriminate against black people? But I don't think it makes it any less racist though for black people to be doing this. I find it quite hypocritical in many ways and I think it just shows their lack of awareness and unwillingness to socialise with anyone other than their race - they can live in their little bubble and never really have to think.

    Personally I think that people who choose not to mix with people of other races, especially when you live in such a multicultural place as London(where I live) are really missing out, although they may not be choosing this intentionally. It really does widen your knowledge and awareness, not just of different cultures, but it makes you reflect on your your own too.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Nina166)
    I think it just shows their lack of awareness and unwillingness to socialise with anyone other than their race - they can live in their little bubble and never really have to think.
    Are they living in the UK then?
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by NDGAARONDI)
    Are they living in the UK then?
    Actually they do, as hard as it may be to believe! Many ethnic minorities, especially immigrants like to remain within their ethnic group. Some of them don't really speak english, especially the women, and they never really get to explore any ideas besides their own. This is especially the case in Asian/Muslim communities such as myself(although I am Black). But some people who do speak english, or the White British themselves choose to remain within their own ethnic group. This may not neccessarily be bad, but I think it encourages ignorance about other peoples way of life and culture. In my experience, I have recognised that my preconceived ideas can be very much far from the truth, especially with Indian families and such things like arranged marriage for example.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I really feel for you, Nina. I'm a white girl going out with a Taiwanese boy, and it's great. We have been very lucky in that our families accept our choice of partner, and on the whole, see through the racial issue. There was one exception though. My grandma was somewhat prejudiced, thinking that he was probably only after British nationality, or just wasn't good enough for me generally, but when she met him, it all changed. She realised what an amazing, kind, honest person he is, and now is really happy that i'm seeing him

    Have your family/friends met your boyf, or are they just makinga ssumptions? Maybe if they meet him they'll realise how different he is from their assumptions, and think again.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Nina166)
    Actually they do, as hard as it may be to believe!
    I dislike that. If you move to a country like the UK you're going to have to change (not you personally).
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Nina166)
    So I guess I will try to make them understand if it even comes to it. I guess right now I'll just see how it goes, my freinds will just have to lump it in this case!
    But is that really a sacrifice you're willing to make?

    Don't get me wrong, you should openly embrace and stand your ground for the views you hold, however, at the same time, a little realism goes a long way. Say you decide to tell your friends/family to "lump it", and a few weeks/months down the line this guy breaks up with you (or vice versa). What will be left of your relations with your friends and family who have been close to you and supported you through everything?

    You need to remember, that whilst you make your views clear to those around you, your shouldn't jeopordise your future relations, for something which may not even work out. How do you know, you may even end up marrying a somalian, of the same tribe no less.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mad Caddie)
    How do you know, you may even end up marrying a somalian, of the same tribe no less.
    Wouldn't that be like incest?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Nina166)
    I am a Somali/Black.!
    Hmm may I ask, what half of you is black and where that half originates...?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SamTheMan)
    Wouldn't that be like incest?
    Um, no! There could be hundreds if not thousands of people in any particular tribe. It would only be incest if the person was a family member, ie. brother/sister.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jason8857)
    Hmm may I ask, what half of you is black and where that half originates...?
    Erm, Just that some people may not know where Somalia is, is all! And if I had just said "I'm black", I don't think it would have done justice to a whole bunch of other things such as my culture, nationality etc, which is another important factor in all this.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jason8857)
    Hmm may I ask, what half of you is black and where that half originates...?
    Erm, just that some people may not know where Somalia is, is all! And if I had just said "I'm black", I don't think it would have done justice to a whole bunch of other things such as my culture, nationality etc, which is another important factor in all this. Sorry for the misunderstaning!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Have your family/friends met your boyf, or are they just makinga ssumptions? Maybe if they meet him they'll realise how different he is from their assumptions, and think again.
    Well, my cousins have met him and talked him(but only for a short while). My parents will only be meeting him if it really gets seerious.

    Don't get me wrong, you should openly embrace and stand your ground for the views you hold, however, at the same time, a little realism goes a long way. Say you decide to tell your friends/family to "lump it", and a few weeks/months down the line this guy breaks up with you (or vice versa). What will be left of your relations with your friends and family who have been close to you and supported you through everything?

    You need to remember, that whilst you make your views clear to those around you, your shouldn't jeopordise your future relations, for something which may not even work out. How do you know, you may even end up marrying a somalian, of the same tribe no less.
    The thing is, my cousins are not actually telling me they will break ties with me if I do go on seeing him. But I am simply irritated by their what seems to be constant degrading remarks about him every time he comes into conversation. Its just that they dont really "approve" of him, and their comments really hurt sometimes. But as far as telling my parents, I agree that I do have to have a little realism. I KNOW that it will be completely unacceptable in their eyes, as not only is he not Somalian, he is also more importantly not MUSLIM, which I am apparently supposed to be. But I really can't see myself ever marrying a muslim anyway, or a true believer, because I myself don't belive in religion. So I am going to have problems with my parents in any case
    I'm just really pissed off that people can't be more open-minded in this day and age..I mean for God's sakes these sorts of relationships happen all the time between black and white people. But nooo, when it comes to a Somalian getting involved with a white person its totally shock, horror :eek:

    Thank you for all your encouraging comments everyone, I am glad that the majority of us can use our intellects well. I talked to my mates last night and told them where I stand. I told them either they just either accept the fact that I am with him and that this guy is special to me, or that perhaps we should reconsider our friendship. Even if this relationship does not work out(hopefully it will!) I don't want to be avoiding finding love in people of other races and colours simply because my family are closed minded. Colour is one of the most superficial ways of defining people, and it is the easiest way to shut 'others' out. Thankfully, they've agreed that they'll try to stop saying bad things about him. I'm glad its them that are going to have open their eyes and change!! You guys kinda assured me that what I was doing was indeed right, which was the uplift I needed!
 
 
 
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 11, 2005
Poll
Black Friday: Yay or Nay?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.