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Sister blames me for everything
Can i post in health and relationships regarding the relationship between myself and my sister? This is probably going to be long, so i apologise in advance but i really do need some advice.
My sister is very paranoid and takes it out on me. Well used to take it out on me until i had enough and i havn't spoken to her since last june. This is killing me. We used to be the best of friends but she's so negative. I don't want to be part of her problems, so why does she drag me into it?
I'l give you some examples and they are over the most stupid reasons, too:
I ordered her a phone of the internet using my credit card. She doesn't have a credit card, so she just payed me the cash. But the phone was late coming. It took a good 2-3 weeks (to come from asia). But because it didn't come within a week, she thought i didn't order her the phone and just kept the money. She turned on me and demanding the money back which was used to clear the price on the phone of the credit card. She went on and on about how i was such a bitch for keeping her money. The day her phone arrived, i received no apology either!
Anyone that knows the irish driving system. They allow learner drivers to drive on their learner permits if they are accompanied with someone with a full license. So i have the full license and my sister is on the learner's permit.
One sunday morning she wanted me to sit with her. I have no problem with it, i did before. But because it was still the morning, i said later (and i meant it too). We had the whole day to drive anywhere she wanted to go. But she took my, "later", and turned around on me. She was saying, i won't sit in with her because i didn't want her to do well with driving, i was just being spiteful and jealous of her trying to get somewhere in life.
She misplaced a college book of hers. A book she hasn't used in weeks. So i just said go out and buy a new one, easier than finding it. She took that, as if i took the book because i didn't want her to have it and to do well. I tore the house upside down looking for the book just to prove her wrong and i got no apology when i found it.
I had a cold one week and one day thinking about should i won't i go to the gym. So i prepared myself anyway and my sister wanted to come too. But because i had i cold, i changed my mind and decided to wait until i was better. She thought the only reason i wouldn't go was because i didn't want her to lose weight. She turned on me saying how jealous i was of her and went on and on. She made no effort before or after that day ever, to lose weight. Why did she have to turn it on me?
There was a party once which i wanted to go to. My sister wanted to come too, so she could hop on some fella she fancied. The very same week i had a rash all over my body. The doctor told me it was psoriasis. My granny has psoriasis, so no surprise there. Google some pics of guttate psoriasis, you will see just how sick looking that is. I was covered in it. It was itchy and some places in was sore. To say the least, the last thing on my mind was that party and my sister just didn't care. She turned around on me saying i just got her hopes up just to knock them down again. She was really looking forward to that guy. There was nothing stopping her from going herself but she wouldn't go because i wouldn't.
They are just some examples and since last june i havn't spoken to her. I don't know when she will turn on me next telling me i'm the jealous one and blaming me things that go wrong in her life. I used to just walk away from her tantrums and after a few days we would start talking again, even tough i would never get an apology from her. I had enough of it last june and got mad. So now she expects an apology from me for something i have never started. She thinks she can treat me like **** and expects me to take it.
From reading this, you probably think we are teenagers but we're not. We're in out late 20s, but my sister still hasn't matured.
She's been trying to rise me since then. She would do little things to get at me. She has slammed the door on my face as i was coming through a few times. And the worst is she has taken it out on the cat just to get to me. I love animals and she knows how to get to me. She kicked him in his mouth, picked him up and threw him from a height. She's vicious.
This is killing me. We used to be the best of friends and did everything together. What is her problem? Why did she turn on me? What can i do?
My sister is very paranoid and takes it out on me. Well used to take it out on me until i had enough and i havn't spoken to her since last june. This is killing me. We used to be the best of friends but she's so negative. I don't want to be part of her problems, so why does she drag me into it?
I'l give you some examples and they are over the most stupid reasons, too:
I ordered her a phone of the internet using my credit card. She doesn't have a credit card, so she just payed me the cash. But the phone was late coming. It took a good 2-3 weeks (to come from asia). But because it didn't come within a week, she thought i didn't order her the phone and just kept the money. She turned on me and demanding the money back which was used to clear the price on the phone of the credit card. She went on and on about how i was such a bitch for keeping her money. The day her phone arrived, i received no apology either!
Anyone that knows the irish driving system. They allow learner drivers to drive on their learner permits if they are accompanied with someone with a full license. So i have the full license and my sister is on the learner's permit.
One sunday morning she wanted me to sit with her. I have no problem with it, i did before. But because it was still the morning, i said later (and i meant it too). We had the whole day to drive anywhere she wanted to go. But she took my, "later", and turned around on me. She was saying, i won't sit in with her because i didn't want her to do well with driving, i was just being spiteful and jealous of her trying to get somewhere in life.
She misplaced a college book of hers. A book she hasn't used in weeks. So i just said go out and buy a new one, easier than finding it. She took that, as if i took the book because i didn't want her to have it and to do well. I tore the house upside down looking for the book just to prove her wrong and i got no apology when i found it.
I had a cold one week and one day thinking about should i won't i go to the gym. So i prepared myself anyway and my sister wanted to come too. But because i had i cold, i changed my mind and decided to wait until i was better. She thought the only reason i wouldn't go was because i didn't want her to lose weight. She turned on me saying how jealous i was of her and went on and on. She made no effort before or after that day ever, to lose weight. Why did she have to turn it on me?
There was a party once which i wanted to go to. My sister wanted to come too, so she could hop on some fella she fancied. The very same week i had a rash all over my body. The doctor told me it was psoriasis. My granny has psoriasis, so no surprise there. Google some pics of guttate psoriasis, you will see just how sick looking that is. I was covered in it. It was itchy and some places in was sore. To say the least, the last thing on my mind was that party and my sister just didn't care. She turned around on me saying i just got her hopes up just to knock them down again. She was really looking forward to that guy. There was nothing stopping her from going herself but she wouldn't go because i wouldn't.
They are just some examples and since last june i havn't spoken to her. I don't know when she will turn on me next telling me i'm the jealous one and blaming me things that go wrong in her life. I used to just walk away from her tantrums and after a few days we would start talking again, even tough i would never get an apology from her. I had enough of it last june and got mad. So now she expects an apology from me for something i have never started. She thinks she can treat me like **** and expects me to take it.
From reading this, you probably think we are teenagers but we're not. We're in out late 20s, but my sister still hasn't matured.
She's been trying to rise me since then. She would do little things to get at me. She has slammed the door on my face as i was coming through a few times. And the worst is she has taken it out on the cat just to get to me. I love animals and she knows how to get to me. She kicked him in his mouth, picked him up and threw him from a height. She's vicious.
This is killing me. We used to be the best of friends and did everything together. What is her problem? Why did she turn on me? What can i do?
Reply 1
Move out, start your own life, distance yourself from this melodramatic farce.
Reply 2
lisaoc
OP
Double Agent
Move out, start your own life, distance yourself from this melodramatic farce.
Moving out in august, hopefully to go back to college.
Reply 3
Well then sure you're grand, it's only till then. Just continue keeping your distance, it'll probably be easier to try and rebuild a functioning relationship when you're not in the same house 24/7.
Reply 4
14
Double Agent
Move out, start your own life, distance yourself from this melodramatic farce.
Indeed.
Reply 5
She sounds like a douche, if she's like that in her late twenties she'll be like that for good so leave her off, get as far away from her as possible!! What do your parents make of the way she carries on?
Reply 6
Double Agent
Move out, start your own life, distance yourself from this melodramatic farce.
Exactly this.
Move out, and start your own life...
I think she is jealous of you...
Reply 7
Double Agent
Move out, start your own life, distance yourself from this melodramatic farce.
This. You need space away from this woman, seriously.
Get some distance and figure out your own life, maybe having to cope for herself will instill soem humility and manners into her.
She might be your sister but that doesn't mean you have to put up with her bs 24/7.
Get away and maybe in future she'll mellow out, grow up and come to you.
Reply 8
15
When she comes moaning to you tell her to get lost. If she loses something and blames you tell her you haven't had it, don't look for it. If she wants to go somewhere with you and you don't go "oh well" it's up to you if you babysit her places.
Just be dismissive and straight forward, she'll have to solve her own problems, she might even start to be nice to you.
Just be dismissive and straight forward, she'll have to solve her own problems, she might even start to be nice to you.
Reply 9
Stop crying you little faggot.
Reply 10
1
Shake tha **** outta her mang.
Reply 11
iCyberbully
Stop crying you little faggot.
Why?
OP you need to tell her to **** the hell off though. Sibling rivalry is farcical, luckily most people outgrow it.
Reply 12
To be honest, I would say that some people aren't worth the effort but it's obviously getting to you, so perhaps you should try to resolve it.
The best plan of action I can think is to be strong back to her. It sounds as if you're the submissive one in the relationship, i.e. she blames you for not finding her book and you ransack the house to find it. Next time she says you're not going to the gym so she won't lose weight, just say that's not the reason, you'll go with her tomorrow, but she can still go if she wants. No matter how much she bitches stick to your story and don't act affected at all. She'll soon realise her tantrums won't get anywhere. The best way would be to act slightly aloof and detached if she starts attacking you - she knows it affects you, so she knows it's working.
The best plan of action I can think is to be strong back to her. It sounds as if you're the submissive one in the relationship, i.e. she blames you for not finding her book and you ransack the house to find it. Next time she says you're not going to the gym so she won't lose weight, just say that's not the reason, you'll go with her tomorrow, but she can still go if she wants. No matter how much she bitches stick to your story and don't act affected at all. She'll soon realise her tantrums won't get anywhere. The best way would be to act slightly aloof and detached if she starts attacking you - she knows it affects you, so she knows it's working.
Reply 13
lisaoc
OP
Hello again, i really don't know what else to do. Help me! My sister really hates me and i don't know what i ever did wrong. She just turned on me. It came out of nowhere, starting to blame me for everything that went wrong in her life, as if its my fault. I can only control my life, i am not responsible for hers and whatever that goes wrong in it - am i?
I don't speak to her, i don't acknowledge her. I don't want to be part of her problems. That's not unreasonable - is it? Since last june, i haven't spoken to her - why should i - she will use whatever i do say against me and tells me i am jealous of her.
So anyway, yesterday, i completely ignored her, like i have been. She said something, i ignored her and then she comes over and starts hitting me. I got about 3/4 punches in my head and started to bleed. Although i feel fine, i am so worried over delayed symptoms of head injuries or something. I took today off work, so i can watch for any unual signs and have a chance to go the doctor if i have to.
What can i do? What can i say? At this stage i think its to late. She can apologise to me but she won't change now. I don't want to be part of her problems, whatever it is? She went to work today and i trashed her stuff today. Something i haven't done since i was 15. It doesn't make me feel any better - she can replace all that stuff - any problems with the brain can't be replaced!
I have to move out, but i am waiting to back to college for that. When i do move out, i don't want her in my life. She will never change. Will she get jealous over husbands, houses, kids etc?
This whole situation is killing my mother too, which is so unfair on her. What can i do?
Should i report her to the police for the assault? What will happen regarding her record? She works as a childminder where clearance with the police is needed for jobs with kids. Can this affect her future chances of getting work? She shouldn't be working with kids anyway. She has a fierce temper - i have seen her hit animals, to get to me (cause i love them). As teenagers / early twenties when she used to babysit and i would call to her - i have seen her scream at kids (they were only being kids-they have never done anything wrong). If she can hit animals, lash out at me - a child has no chance.
Help me! What do i do?
I don't speak to her, i don't acknowledge her. I don't want to be part of her problems. That's not unreasonable - is it? Since last june, i haven't spoken to her - why should i - she will use whatever i do say against me and tells me i am jealous of her.
So anyway, yesterday, i completely ignored her, like i have been. She said something, i ignored her and then she comes over and starts hitting me. I got about 3/4 punches in my head and started to bleed. Although i feel fine, i am so worried over delayed symptoms of head injuries or something. I took today off work, so i can watch for any unual signs and have a chance to go the doctor if i have to.
What can i do? What can i say? At this stage i think its to late. She can apologise to me but she won't change now. I don't want to be part of her problems, whatever it is? She went to work today and i trashed her stuff today. Something i haven't done since i was 15. It doesn't make me feel any better - she can replace all that stuff - any problems with the brain can't be replaced!
I have to move out, but i am waiting to back to college for that. When i do move out, i don't want her in my life. She will never change. Will she get jealous over husbands, houses, kids etc?
This whole situation is killing my mother too, which is so unfair on her. What can i do?
Should i report her to the police for the assault? What will happen regarding her record? She works as a childminder where clearance with the police is needed for jobs with kids. Can this affect her future chances of getting work? She shouldn't be working with kids anyway. She has a fierce temper - i have seen her hit animals, to get to me (cause i love them). As teenagers / early twenties when she used to babysit and i would call to her - i have seen her scream at kids (they were only being kids-they have never done anything wrong). If she can hit animals, lash out at me - a child has no chance.
Help me! What do i do?
Reply 14
lisaoc
OP
Maybe someone can also advice me on something else? As i already said my sister is paranoid and blames me. It started about 18 months ago which is about the same time i was losing weight. It might be jealously because i lost weight - i don't know ???
For the first couple of times she used to blame me, i just walked off. Then it was happening at least once a month where she would blame me, call me spiteful or jealous of her if i couldn't do something for her. Over the smallest little things. Ok it started to piss me off and rightly so, i am only human. So i started to tell her things like - 'shut the fk up, u fat bitch'. 'Why are u like this - is it because i lost weight - u fat ****?'. Just every time she started on me, i would call her names. She can't be civil towards me , why should i be civil towards her. She is well able to treat people nice but when it comes to her own family she doesn't care.
So, for all those times i have called her a fat ****, whore or whatever - she expects me to apoloise. She thinks i dont see where she is coming from - i shouldn't be calling her names. Well she shouldn't be blaming me. I was only started to get pissed off - i think anyone would end up getting sick of her behaviour.
This is something i do not want to back down on, i have never started any of this. From an outside view should i apologise? I shouldn't have to accept the blame here? Even if i do, she will just start at me again which is something i don't want or need in my life.
For the first couple of times she used to blame me, i just walked off. Then it was happening at least once a month where she would blame me, call me spiteful or jealous of her if i couldn't do something for her. Over the smallest little things. Ok it started to piss me off and rightly so, i am only human. So i started to tell her things like - 'shut the fk up, u fat bitch'. 'Why are u like this - is it because i lost weight - u fat ****?'. Just every time she started on me, i would call her names. She can't be civil towards me , why should i be civil towards her. She is well able to treat people nice but when it comes to her own family she doesn't care.
So, for all those times i have called her a fat ****, whore or whatever - she expects me to apoloise. She thinks i dont see where she is coming from - i shouldn't be calling her names. Well she shouldn't be blaming me. I was only started to get pissed off - i think anyone would end up getting sick of her behaviour.
This is something i do not want to back down on, i have never started any of this. From an outside view should i apologise? I shouldn't have to accept the blame here? Even if i do, she will just start at me again which is something i don't want or need in my life.
Reply 15
Hi. I don't know if it's too late or not, but have you checked her out for a mental disorder? My sister is exactly like this, she blames me for everything, like when she misplaces something she yells at me, demanding me to return it. For a long while I wondered how she could be so selfish and so stupid. But since learning more about psychology, I have come to discover some irregular behavior patterns in my sister. Sometime people are legitimately jerks, but sometimes it's something in their brain like OCD. My sister is highly OCD and sometimes it's really hard to reason with her. Even if your sister has something you can't identify off the top, I highly recommend that you take her to a psychologist or someone of similar background. You have said that she is paranoid - maybe that contributes to some of it. Also, as hard as it is (and I know it is EXTREMELY hard,) you have to be kind to her anyway and if she doesn't listen to reason, at least even a little, there is definitely something going on in either her heart or her brain. I know it's hard, just keep trying and someday things will get better!! Wishing you comfort,
A girl who cares
A girl who cares
Reply 16
Your sister sounds mentally ill, paranoia and histrionic personality disorder. I'd get as far away as possible tbh
Reply 17
Same here sister. But mine is even more terrifying than yours. My sister lied about me comitting sexual abuse against her and my family doesn't even believe me cause they think I am lying. It's pretty annoying when adults think that the younger oen is always trustworthy. I know her condition but my parents won't just take her to the hospital. Her condition is :vulvovaginitis in child. Google that will make you have nightmares. But this is going to be a serious problem if my parents don't react quick. Something tells me that my mom is responsible for this but I know that she is a ****ing ***** and an annoying brat. Goddam feel like beating the **** out of her..
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