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Doubts about your relationship. come clean?

Lone Ranger

If you doubt your relationship but love your girlfriend, is it best to realise that maybe its not right or carry on?

Reply 1

Lirael Abhorsen

1

well if you love her, surely you still want to be with her? maybe you need to have one of those serious talks about your relationship to see if the doubts can be rectified...but without knowing what the doubts are can't really say...

Reply 2

khil

15

See that it's best to leave the relationship and move on before you hurt yourself anymore.

Although I would talk to her and see if it's not something you two can work out before leaving her - discuss the possibility with her. If you're both willing to work at it, maybe it would be ok? How long have you had your doubts for now? Cus you gotta be careful it's not a cycle.

Reply 3

Lone Ranger

OP

Weve been together 3 years but weve had our ups an downs an she left me a yr ago an went with other ppl, but we ended up together but it still bothers me but i also feel like i need to now who else is out there, i dunno jus confussed but weve had a big argument an she says i dont make any effort or care but i jus find it hard after whats happened

Reply 4

Lirael Abhorsen

1

well given the situation it sounds like neither of you is certain about the other... and that you have put up with a lot...if things aren't working out it might be good to at least have a time out from the r-ship

Reply 5

Ziggy Stardust

Threads like this are always risky, let's hope none of your partners use this site on the sly and find out..! :rolleyes:

Reply 6

Herleif

very unlikely they do

Reply 7

dobbs

17

Lone Ranger

If you doubt your relationship but love your girlfriend, is it best to realise that maybe its not right or carry on?

I had a similar but opposite problem (that make sense?).....I thought our relationship was going great, but I didn't love her and for some reason my feelings for her disappeared.

Best thing to do is to talk to her....I know it's the "classic" answer to most relationship questions, but there is a reason it's the classic answer - it's what you should do and what is best to do. If you let her know, then she may suggest things that you haven't thought about, and then also she knows what you're thinking and so if and when something happens it's not just out of the blue and she's like "WTF?" but rather she's been through it all with you and can understand why you've decided to do whatever you do.

Any of that make sense? Short but sweet version: Talk to her and let her know how you're feeling - don't scare her, but make sure she knows that it's something you feel strongly about.

Hope it goes OK :smile:

Reply 8

fleur-de-lis

1

Lone Ranger

Weve been together 3 years but weve had our ups an downs an she left me a yr ago an went with other ppl, but we ended up together but it still bothers me but i also feel like i need to now who else is out there, i dunno jus confussed but weve had a big argument an she says i dont make any effort or care but i jus find it hard after whats happened

I agree with the others who have posted: Talk with her and try to iron out your differences & confusions. if it doesn't go well, maybe give it another try and then make a decision as to whether it's the right move or not...

Reply 9

Legend_16

1

I would say be honest with her, the relationship will only work in the long term if you are both upfront with each other. Sort problems out before they become major issues!

Reply 10

SlyPie

12

Lone Ranger

If you doubt your relationship but love your girlfriend, is it best to realise that maybe its not right or carry on?

I was in the same situation. We were totally different but were very close (dated for couple years) and we loved each other. I guess we should just realize that after a long time, a relationship isn't "fresh" and "exciting" anymore. Then it feels like a heavier burden and things don't run smoothly, but you care about this person, so it makes everything seem jumbled up, and then you just want to beat something and scream...you get my point.

Maybe stay friends with her (if that's possible) and then once you've dated others see if you still love her?

Reply 11

saz_1989

2

Talk to her. Me and my boyfriend are having problems and we talked...we must have sat talking for five hours, and by the end of it, we were happy. We talked the next night and it ended up good as well. When you talk, you will either get reassurance or you'll split up - both are good because then you're not stuck in limbo.

Regarding her ditching you to go off with other people...you should talk to her again. It was a mistake and it most likely made her realise how much she loved you. She probably thinks you're over it, but she needs to make you feel needed and loved. You should tell her exactly how you feel. It'll make you feel happier :smile:

Good luck.

Reply 12

Sophdoph

1

Talking is the best route to solving the problem. Get it all out in the open, as calmly as you can. You don't know what she is feeling, she might have a similar view of the relationship to you or she might have no idea you are having doubts.

If you think you need a break, try just not seeing each other and not talking for a couple of days once you've discussed everything. Then you might be able to see if you really want to be with her or not.

Reply 13

Trousers

11

It's not a question of breaking up with her or keeping quiet. If you're in a long-term relationship, you owe it to your partner to be adult and honest about these things. Talk it through, and try to sort it out.

Reply 14

BlackHawk

17

Lone Ranger

Weve been together 3 years but weve had our ups an downs an she left me a yr ago an went with other ppl, but we ended up together but it still bothers me but i also feel like i need to now who else is out there, i dunno jus confussed but weve had a big argument an she says i dont make any effort or care but i jus find it hard after whats happened

I'm sorry, but from what you've been saying it doesn't sound like you are truely deeply and madly in love with her. If it's been three years and you are thinking those thoughts then it's time to move on.

Reply 15

MC

1

Lone Ranger

If you doubt your relationship but love your girlfriend, is it best to realise that maybe its not right or carry on?

I'm in the same position. I love my girlfriend like a friend, I'm no longer attracted to her. However, I can't talk to her about it, she get's violent you see....

Reply 16

Lone Ranger

OP

I'm off to canada on sat, an we havn't spoken since but u guys are right i believe that i dont love her the same way that i once did and its so hard becuz were so close but i need to know whats right for me, but at the same time if she is right for me i may be chuckin a perfectly decent thing away its a hard choice an at the end of the day i hav had my doubts but wana be happy but am scared of not beein able to do any better, my suitation is the classic girl acroos the block situiation an i sum parts of me maybe in it for the fact that its so easy the way it is but with sixth from finsihed i feel like im growin distant an the things i once belived in could once again be recognised an explored, im a bit of a hopless romantic an ive had ma heart smashed a few times so i dunno if i shud jus call it a day an be fresh fpr uni, or like or relationships am i jus in a bit of a rut

Doubts about your relationship. come clean?

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