tips for calming down after fight with family

2

I just had a major row with my family(mum/dad) about various things, one being that i am not allowed to stay home this week to get my alevel results and have to go with them to wales,another being to do with how they spoil my sister rotten but expect me to pay for allsorts/fix everything she breaks. Now I am really upset. I need some tips on how to calm down, we are supposed to be setting off for a holiday sat morning at about 9 oclock, and i really don't want to go now at all, if I did the atmosphere after the argument would be unbareable and i'm sure would wreck things for everyone, yet I am still not being allowed to stay at home (im 18!) My dad tried to shove money in my hand to stop me from crying and I don't want that kinda "feel bad" money! Its such a mess. :bawling:

Reply 1

blissy

15

I go for an angry stomp. Last time it was tipping it down with rain. At first you're practically running and then you start to calm down and then you stroll and know it's time to go back.

Reply 2

viviki

14

Take deep breaths try to stay as calm as you can and talk to them rationally. If you don't feel you can do that write a letter about your feelings, even if you never give it to them its an excellent way to let out your anger and feel calmer.

Reply 3

Frogsofhope

OP

2

thanks guys, its a bit late to go outside and im ready for bed so would be pretty cold and might get some very strange looks, my area can be kinda rough too, but thanks for the idea i stomped around my room and threw some things(packing for my "holiday"

am taking some deep breaths now, have tried the ratinol talk a million times over(this sorta thing happens all the time), and written loads but writing does help even if its just typing it out over msn to someone whos away :rofl:

thanks guys.

Reply 4

Barny

17

I feel sorry for people who can't argue with their parents :p:

Reply 5

fonzievision

14

Take the money and pretend you're fine :O It's bound to work again next time and you'll keep raking in.

Just kidding.

I say go, and just put it behind you and don't let it bother you. I know it's easier said than done, but the longer you linger about it, the tougher it is to make things between all of you okay again..

Reply 6

heminder

13

marisad_uk

I just had a major row with my family(mum/dad) about various things, one being that i am not allowed to stay home this week to get my alevel results and have to go with them to wales,another being to do with how they spoil my sister rotten but expect me to pay for allsorts/fix everything she breaks. Now I am really upset. I need some tips on how to calm down, we are supposed to be setting off for a holiday sat morning at about 9 oclock, and i really don't want to go now at all, if I did the atmosphere after the argument would be unbareable and i'm sure would wreck things for everyone, yet I am still not being allowed to stay at home (im 18!) My dad tried to shove money in my hand to stop me from crying and I don't want that kinda "feel bad" money! Its such a mess. :bawling:

happens all the time over here...
well, in minor dosages...
whenever it happens i just play the heaviest music i can find...
like DevilDriver, Arch Enemy, Chimaira, etc...
and play it so that they can hear it...
makes them realise my emotions and calm down...
works for me...

ok, anyway...
just watch a comedy video, i don't know what you like, but...
Bill & Ted, Viva La Bam, or perhaps a funny and emotional film...
something you can picture yourself in...

Reply 7

musicbloke

17

If you're uni place is reliant on Alevel grades then it's important you're there. If you miss your grades you'll have to phonee up admission offices or go through clearing.

MB

Reply 8

Frogsofhope

OP

2

fonzievision

Take the money and pretend you're fine :O It's bound to work again next time and you'll keep raking in.

Just kidding.

I say go, and just put it behind you and don't let it bother you. I know it's easier said than done, but the longer you linger about it, the tougher it is to make things between all of you okay again..

im thinking i should have taken the money as well, but i felt bad as it was from my Dad who just agrees with everything my mum says and doesnt dare voice his own ideas. Why should he pay for the way my mum made me feel hmm.

I would try go and put it all behind me, but i just know if i did as soon as she thought i was out of earshot my mum would tell my gran what had happened with her slant on it of me being "crazily insanely jealous of nothing at all" and it would be all snipes form both sides all holiday long, and everytime she did the tiniest thing that favours my sister, or tries to control me, i would go crazy with rage and it would all come pouring out, like last years holiday where the situation got so bad i snook out n got a train back home, only to be dragged back again by my dad who came home to get me :rolleyes:

It also means on a level results day, sorry to keep goin on about it but it bugs me, i would be in Wales and i really feel like I need to be at home to collect my results see how all my friends, who i really miss, are, and be in a good position to sort out clearing and everything if i havn't got the grades for my conditional offer. If im in wales the best i can do is try use UCAS track WAP and hope it works and says whether i am in or not, either way i won't know what my grades are and will be on pins till i get home.

:frown:

Reply 9

blissy

15

marisad_uk

thanks guys, its a bit late to go outside and im ready for bed so would be pretty cold and might get some very strange looks, my area can be kinda rough too, but thanks for the idea i stomped around my room and threw some things(packing for my "holiday"

Room stomping can be just as good.
See how it is in the morning. Ideally you should never let the sun go down on an argument, but if everyone has forgiven and forgotten by the morning then it might be a good thing.
(last time I went for a stomp it was 11pm and I was in my nightie :redface:

)

Reply 10

Frogsofhope

OP

2

heminder

happens all the time over here...
well, in minor dosages...
whenever it happens i just play the heaviest music i can find...
like DevilDriver, Arch Enemy, Chimaira, etc...
and play it so that they can hear it...
makes them realise my emotions and calm down...
works for me...

ok, anyway...
just watch a comedy video, i don't know what you like, but...
Bill & Ted, Viva La Bam, or perhaps a funny and emotional film...
something you can picture yourself in...

well i have annoyed them by plaing dance music and "e-rotic" lolo name makes me laugh europop/dance/trance really loud!!

havn't got anything heavy on this pc, and the cd drives bust so i cant get any off cds!

i could just try sing slipknot which is about the heaviest thing i listen to

PEOPLE = Shhh you know the rest...

Reply 11

serious narb

11

chill out, watch some porn, have a w-ank

Reply 12

Frogsofhope

OP

2

blissy

Room stomping can be just as good.
See how it is in the morning. Ideally you should never let the sun go down on an argument, but if everyone has forgiven and forgotten by the morning then it might be a good thing.
(last time I went for a stomp it was 11pm and I was in my nightie :redface:

)

i seem to remember the same arguemtn or a similar arguemnt happening last year, and i wouldn't say anyone had forgotten or forgiven in the morning it was more like everyone was avoiding the issue and not mentioning it, that didnt turn out brill :confused:

I think i have layed enough guilt trips on my parents for tonight though, so will leave it and probably grudgingly agree to go tommorow, and see if i can recover that guilt money. Hopeing they are greatful i agree to go because they made such a song and dance about it!

serious narb

chill out, watch some porn, have a w-ank

im asking what i should do, not what you *want* to do.

Reply 13

Mean Mr. Mustard

Do your parents realise how important it is for you to be able to get your A-Level results in terms of clearing if it all goes wrong etc?

Reply 14

serious narb

11

marisad_uk

i seem to remember the same arguemtn or a similar arguemnt happening last year, and i wouldn't say anyone had forgotten or forgiven in the morning it was more like everyone was avoiding the issue and not mentioning it, that didnt turn out brill :confused:

I think i have layed enough guilt trips on my parents for tonight though, so will leave it and probably grudgingly agree to go tommorow, and see if i can recover that guilt money. Hopeing they are greatful i agree to go because they made such a song and dance about it!

im asking what i should do, not what you *want* to do.

and i'm telling you it's what you should do, surely if I wanted to have a w-ank i just would? :confused:

Reply 15

cheesecakebobby

9

Kill your parents? Worked for me.

Reply 16

Frogsofhope

OP

2

Babyshambles

Do your parents realise how important it is for you to be able to get your A-Level results in terms of clearing if it all goes wrong etc?

my Dad does, but my Mum doesn't she just keeps saying "you will get them on saturday, it's close enough, you can get them using your phone in wales (in/out not actual results, don't think she understands difference :rolleyes:

)" this is the last family holiday and you are NOT staying at home! Guess who wears the trousers?

Guess i can take the number for leeds uni with me, but if i get put on hold on my mobile and it wastes tons of credit, or there is no signal I am stuck.

Reply 17

Frogsofhope

OP

2

serious narb

and i'm telling you it's what you should do, surely if I wanted to have a w-ank i just would? :confused:

if the pink robot and female sign, and Girls name didn't quite give it away i am in fact a GIRL or should that be Woman, I am 18, hmm Woman sounds too "old person" for me

so have a w-ank, say something constructive or shhhh kplzthnx :biggrin:

Reply 18

serious narb

11

marisad_uk

if the pink robot and female sign, and Girls name didn't quite give it away i am in fact a GIRL or should that be Woman, I am 18, hmm Woman sounds too "old person" for me

so have a w-ank, say something constructive or shhhh kplzthnx :biggrin:

look girls can still have a good flick..... o.k i'll shh

Reply 19

Barny

17

This is bloody disgraceful, you're 18, an adult, you're soon to be leaving home, and you're letting your parents dictate your life like this? Just tell you mum to **** off, how is she physically going to force you to go to Wales? Thats right, she isn't, explain to her how important results day is and that clearing spaces go within a matter of hours, nevermind 2 days after results day, I can't believe you're asking for bloody advice on this, it should be obvious.

tips for calming down after fight with family

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