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    Hey, I know this might not sound like a really bad problem but it’s getting me down. OK the year I did my A Levels I moved house 300 odd miles away so I left my friends and that. After A Levels I had a year out where I worked, then started Uni. All my friends from where I used to live either ignore me of just don’t bother that much with me. Thats ok I guess as I have friends at Uni and work, but it would be nice to hear from them. Anyhoo that’s not the problem, the problem is that I still hear from one of my friends and when I do I’m glad to hear from her but at the same time it depresses me. I only had 4/5 main girlie friends (the rest were guys or not that close) and 2 are married, and the others are in serious relationships, like 2+ years. None of them are at Uni, they’re working in banks/nursing homes/etc. I kinda feel really ‘immature’ as they’re all happily married/living with their guys, whilst I’m just at Uni.

    I feel Uni is important, but at the same time I think I’d give it all up if I met the man of my dreams. I’m not at all jealous of them as I’m genuinely happy for them that they’ve found the love of their lives. I just for once, wish that I could find someone as nice. Sometimes I feel that I’m not good enough, as in ugly and fat, and that’s why I’ve not found anyone worth it at the moment, then I worry I’ll never find anyone, and I’ll die a 100 odd year old spinster with her cats and that scares me. Also I want kids and at 22 I would have thought I may have found someone vaguely nice, I mean one of my friends is a step mam of 3 kids!

    Sounds like a rant, and sometimes I don’t feel that bad, but when I hear from friends it just makes me feel so inferior and worthless.
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    Lets see a pic then, for constructive crit of course.
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    Oh Gem, here are my :hugs:
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    Thanks Fleur-de-lis! Oh and imasillynarb no way am I puting a pic on here...people will tell me I am ugly and fat I have one on the photothread though!

    Anyway maybe I'm moaning I just feel a bit down tonight :bawling:
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    Well Gem,
    1. You are not inferior
    2. You are not worthless
    You chose to have education at the moment & you are just 22... so you are at least 80 years away from reaching 100 years! Perhaps the man of your dreams is someone whom you'd be meeting through the Uni or as a result of your studies... maybe when you get a job. Just keep your fingers crossed and you'll have him & all the little feet running around (probably then you'll envy those who are single! :p: ) And don't have such a nasty opinion of yourself- that's probably utter falsehood.
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    You're just 22! You're young and you'll have plenty of time to find a perfect man and you'll be fertile for some 20 more years or so... Just be patient, I'm sure Mr Right will come along, and have fun while you're waiting. And you wouldn't necessarily be any happier if you had a hubby and children... Young parents often face financial and all sorts of other problems and many marriages have ended in a divorces because people have chosen their partners too young and too soon. It's a good thing to wait til you're a bit older! And you can't wait for a man to come and make you happy, you've got to make your life meaningful and interesting yourself. Just concentrate on making yourself happy, because I'm sure you're not worthless or ugly but a fine person who deserves to be happy!
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    You are still very young and there's plenty of time for Mr Right to come along. Your friends are all settling down, and because you aren't your feeling the pressure to be like them, so you feel that you can "fit in" you want to meet soemone, which I take you are having difficulty finding. Don't worry I have spells where there is no-one, then, out of the blue I'll meet someone. Don't put pressure on yourself or get desperate. Yous ound like a genuinely nice person who deserves to meet someone special. My only tip is jsut to enjoy yourself whilst you still can, that someone will just pop up when you least expect, but there's no point in getting yourself down over it. There's also plently oftime for kids, so don't worry about that either.

    Also, I might add. I don't know what your beleifs are, but I went to see a clairvoyant once who told me I was going to meet someone special last July (this was 18 months ago I went to see her) she also told me when I'm going to marry, and the type of person my husband's going to be. She told me alot of other stuff, all of which so far has come true. I know alot of people ridicule such nonsense (I don't even fully beleive in them) but it didn give me alot of hope for the future. I was in a similar situation to yourself and I came out of there thinking, well I will meet him then and it did lift my spirits. Strange, but not everyone's cup of tea. It's up to you!
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    (Original post by * gemchicken *)
    Hey, I know this might not sound like a really bad problem but it’s getting me down. OK the year I did my A Levels I moved house 300 odd miles away so I left my friends and that. After A Levels I had a year out where I worked, then started Uni. All my friends from where I used to live either ignore me of just don’t bother that much with me. Thats ok I guess as I have friends at Uni and work, but it would be nice to hear from them. Anyhoo that’s not the problem, the problem is that I still hear from one of my friends and when I do I’m glad to hear from her but at the same time it depresses me. I only had 4/5 main girlie friends (the rest were guys or not that close) and 2 are married, and the others are in serious relationships, like 2+ years. None of them are at Uni, they’re working in banks/nursing homes/etc. I kinda feel really ‘immature’ as they’re all happily married/living with their guys, whilst I’m just at Uni.

    I feel Uni is important, but at the same time I think I’d give it all up if I met the man of my dreams. I’m not at all jealous of them as I’m genuinely happy for them that they’ve found the love of their lives. I just for once, wish that I could find someone as nice. Sometimes I feel that I’m not good enough, as in ugly and fat, and that’s why I’ve not found anyone worth it at the moment, then I worry I’ll never find anyone, and I’ll die a 100 odd year old spinster with her cats and that scares me. Also I want kids and at 22 I would have thought I may have found someone vaguely nice, I mean one of my friends is a step mam of 3 kids!

    Sounds like a rant, and sometimes I don’t feel that bad, but when I hear from friends it just makes me feel so inferior and worthless.
    Gem, i know how you feel babe but seriously i wouldnt call you immature at all. What could be more mature and responsible then going to Uni to try and achieve something greater then any of your mates ever can?

    If your only 22 then seriously why would you want to think about settling down already? You need to have some fun before you reach that stage of your life. Im sure there are plenty of guys at Uni anyway.

    Ad
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    You should be proud of the fact that you want to do something with ur life. And guys...you'll meet loads!
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    Gem....um why?

    You will be making more money than your girlfriends. You will have a better life.You will later meet an educated guy and have a relationship capable of lasting beyond 10 years. Then you can produce more intelligent children than your friends will.

    No offense, but 22 is WAY too young to have a child. You're the one getting your life straight, and you're worried?

    Honestly, you will have a better life than your friends who are settling down at 22.

    Trust me on this (and my 18 year old wisdom) haha...ok, but no TRUST ME or else I'll beat you....

    Edit: parts of this post were me being facetious, notable the beating part..as I have only domestically abused one person in my life--my ex boyfriend with a metal baseball bat....
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    Aww thanks for your replies everyone :hugs: I know you're all right, but at the moment I just feel a bit sad about things Like everyone is getting on with their lives and I'm *still* in education! It's not so much finding a man right now (although that would be nice ) its more worrying aobut never finding someone to settle down with, I think that scares me most, as I'll be lonely! I don't think I'm desperate, if anything I'm not looking enough! It's just a bit depressing when I have got invited out with mates I moved away from and they're all in couples, I'd be the only one without a guy Oh well, I'll just concentrate on Uni for now and hope I find someone before I turn 80!
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    (Original post by * gemchicken *)
    Aww thanks for your replies everyone :hugs: I know you're all right, but at the moment I just feel a bit sad about things Like everyone is getting on with their lives and I'm *still* in education! It's not so much finding a man right now (although that would be nice ) its more worrying aobut never finding someone to settle down with, I think that scares me most, as I'll be lonely! I don't think I'm desperate, if anything I'm not looking enough! Oh well, I'll just concentrate on Uni for now and hope I find someone before I turn 80!

    The right guy comes along when you're not looking; and then more often sick pervy guys hahah.

    But don't worry. There are many guys in university--many you should befriend, date, and then sooner or later the one you want to seriously be with.

    And as for education, I'm going to be in school for another 6 maybe 8 years..so trust me....you aren't alone. They say once you work, you miss school!
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    Don't let these thoughts get you down. Don't entertain them whatsoever! PLease take this advice from me. I made a similar decision to you, and didn't get married and settle down till I was 26, though many of my friends were forming families before me. Honestly, considering your education & career is REALLY the best policy at your age. And don't ever think that you won't meet someone special, I am a firm believer that there is someone out there for all of us. You are so young at 22, don't start thinking that life is passing you by. When you get to my age (45), you get a better feeling for time, and realise that the decisions you make in early adult life can have major effects on your later life. YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING AT PRESENT, don't screw it up by making this search for a partner your primary concern. It WILL happen, believe me. You don't need to even think about having kids until your into your mid thirties.
    Please take my advice and have a great life. LOL
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    They should be more jealous of you bkoz youre in university, youl get a much decent job and get a better man for yourself. Just put ure head up high and tackle the world.
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    gem...we all have fears. we all face challenges...we feel we have to overcome. The only thing that is permanent in life is change. We keep moving...and making new friends...life is bound to bring about such inevitable changes. Probably u will find someone ...i mean destiny writes someone is to meet someone and that'll work out. so dont worry...the part of friends...even if u stayed...they wud have moved on. So seperation is again inevitable. The only one person who might come with u till ur grave is ur love! and dont go searching for him...he'll come to u.
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    :hugs: sweetie
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    (Original post by * gemchicken *)
    Thanks Fleur-de-lis! Oh and imasillynarb no way am I puting a pic on here...people will tell me I am ugly and fat I have one on the photothread though!

    Anyway maybe I'm moaning I just feel a bit down tonight :bawling:
    Searched through the photo thread, but couldn't find it. But I wouldn't worry about everything you said, some good advice on here. I felt really bad myself after what happened with my girlfriend - now ex - of five years, but that's too complex to go into. Suffice to say I'm feeling happier now!

    Marcus
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    (Original post by * gemchicken *)
    Aww thanks for your replies everyone :hugs: I know you're all right, but at the moment I just feel a bit sad about things Like everyone is getting on with their lives and I'm *still* in education! It's not so much finding a man right now (although that would be nice ) its more worrying aobut never finding someone to settle down with, I think that scares me most, as I'll be lonely! I don't think I'm desperate, if anything I'm not looking enough! It's just a bit depressing when I have got invited out with mates I moved away from and they're all in couples, I'd be the only one without a guy Oh well, I'll just concentrate on Uni for now and hope I find someone before I turn 80!
    You will find somebody because you are a lovely, attractive person. But dont worry, theres plenty of time for it. Enjoy uni and look forward to the opportunities it will bring. I bet your friends envy you in a way - your freedom, the super duper job you will be able to get from a degree. Be patient for love - your time will come, theres someone out there for all of us but for now just enjoy what you have

    You just have a big downer on yourself and think that you need a man to be somebody and to be a success. Thats just not true. Just live for the moment, enjoy what you have and remember that you really are strong and you really do have worth
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    you want children at 22 years old? you would give up university if you found a man?

    WHAT??

    No offence this might be blunt, but if I were you I'd really have a look at my priorities and sort them out. Hell I dont want to THINK about children before I'm at least 30 years old, and no way would anyone stop me going to university and doing what I want to do..

    Your old friends perhaps don't have as much ambition as you when you went to uni. Try to remind yourself why you went and why they didn't. And remember the grass is always greener on the other side, for all you know they're thinking "I wish I went to university and gave myself more options" or something.

    If you think theres something wrong then write it all down on some paper and go through the list and write down next to it what you're gonna do about it to improve it. And dont just read this and think "hmm thats a nice idea", I mean actually get a pen and paper and do it.
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    Its how beautiful u are inside that matters! And trust me thats WHAT matters!!!
 
 
 
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