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    I think u shud explain 2 ur parents tht u need 2 go out once in a while otherwise ul hav no fun n resent all the work your having 2 do dont go out 2 much bt i think u shud explain u want 2 get another job with more money/less hours coz 60 hrs 4 1hundred quid a week is less than 2 pound per hour!!! otherwise stop getting all this stuff off ur parents n fend 4 urself tht way ull have ur indipendance and know what its like in the real world.
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    Maybe this needs clarifying for some of the idiots who appear to frequent this forum. There is a distinct difference between the material treatment someone gets from their parents and their relationship with their parents. What the OP is obviously feeling is a clash of these two needs. Regardless of how much his parents help him out, there is obviously some sort of problem with his relationship with them as parents. This is then manifests itself in their material treatment of him. he's not trying to ask for sympathy o snide comments, he's attempting to get to the route of the problem - something which almost all of the posts in this thread ignore.

    MB
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    (Original post by musicbloke)
    Maybe this needs clarifying for some of the idiots who appear to frequent this forum. There is a distinct difference between the material treatment someone gets from their parents and their relationship with their parents. What the OP is obviously feeling is a clash of these two needs. Regardless of how much his parents help him out, there is obviously some sort of problem with his relationship with them as parents. This is then manifests itself in their material treatment of him. he's not trying to ask for sympathy o snide comments, he's attempting to get to the route of the problem - something which almost all of the posts in this thread ignore.

    MB
    reading your post made me think. I feel that maybe his/her parents are bribing their children to make up for things. Yet still wanting to maintain control, with threats of taking things away. Its not a good situation to be in, but some parents dont wanna let go, and see their kids being independant and self-sufficent.
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    (Original post by musicbloke)
    Maybe this needs clarifying for some of the idiots who appear to frequent this forum. There is a distinct difference between the material treatment someone gets from their parents and their relationship with their parents. What the OP is obviously feeling is a clash of these two needs. Regardless of how much his parents help him out, there is obviously some sort of problem with his relationship with them as parents. This is then manifests itself in their material treatment of him. he's not trying to ask for sympathy o snide comments, he's attempting to get to the route of the problem - something which almost all of the posts in this thread ignore.

    MB
    thanks mate, the most usefull post so far. im am not looking for a solution. and I might have guessed that would attract many people saying "your old enough to fend for yourself, if you dont like your situation, go change it" or "im selfish and dont understand theyre trying to help" - trousers.

    my point is, that while I appreciate everything that is done for me, anything I do wrong (or that they dont like for a better way of putting it) I get threatened with my allowance or car. now for me to tell them to stick that is a bit harsh for now since it would def cause more trouble than its worth.

    trousers - firstly, nice of you to provide such a comprehansive psycho analysis of my personality on the basis of these posts

    "Selfish pricks like him do not think about this from his parents' point of view, proving they have a very childish outlook, possibly because they've been spoiled so much. I think a bit of sarcasm is the least of his problems"

    how can you say im selfish when you do not know the ins and outs for a start. i dont need comments that I am selfish or am I in want of sympathy - as neither is true.

    musicboy managed to sum it up better.

    anyway - I go back to uni in 2 weeks, freedom commences.
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    (Original post by sm0273)
    trousers - firstly, nice of you to provide such a comprehansive psycho analysis of my personality on the basis of these posts

    "Selfish pricks like him do not think about this from his parents' point of view, proving they have a very childish outlook, possibly because they've been spoiled so much. I think a bit of sarcasm is the least of his problems"

    how can you say im selfish when you do not know the ins and outs for a start. i dont need comments that I am selfish or am I in want of sympathy - as neither is true.
    If you don't want people to make comments about your situation, why are you asking for advice? I notice you didn't criticise Musicbloke for thinking he can do the same thing - maybe because he's telling you exactly what you want to hear (controversial, I know).

    The fact that you are asking for help in this situation struck me as very childish, and I was simply trying to point out that your parents are human beings who are being mistreated - you're just taking their money and then whining about it. If you don't want it, don't take it.

    Musicbloke, I know that a parent who gives their child material things is not necessarily a good parent by definition, and there may well be some deep-rooted problems with the relationship here. But if he wants to get it sorted out, the first thing sm0273 should do is learn to fend for himself so that he doesn't have to rely on his parents.

    If he was unable to get a job because of a disability (for instance), and his parents were treating him this way, he might have grounds for complaint. But he obviously has the intelligence to get himself a decent temping job (he's going to uni after all), and can very easily get himself out of this situation. For the sake of his relationship with his parents, he should do this as soon as possible.

    sm0273, have you tried having an adult conversation with your parents about this? There may be a very good reason why they're behaving this way. One that immediately springs to mind is that they may be having serious financial problems and might be itching for you to start supporting yourself so that they can sort them out. The longer you leave it, the more stressed they will get.
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    Oh come on why is everyone being so harsh to the threadstarter? To be honest I can see where he is coming from. I don't think it is just because he wants these "material things" but because of force of habit and the relationship he has with his parents. Sometimes, it doesn't feel like it's worth arguing about and it would probably cause even more problems. For most people it's probably easy saying "move out, get another job" etc. but for some people it doesn't quite work like that as they have become accostomed to this particular way of life and would probably get no support if they chose another kind. I would think that a relatively secure lifestyle at home is more comfortable than going out of your way to move out and do things which are even worse than being dependent on parents - causing arguments etc. on the way.

    Yes, if he is unhappy he does have to do something about it. But it is wise to balance up the benefits of going against his family - he may not gain much at all.

    Also, it is downright nasty to call anyone's parents "*******s" (and all the other things people have been calling them). They may be being a bit silly but I'm sure they have his best interests at heart.

    Edit: Just noticed that MB has been the first person to make a sensible comment on this thread. I will rep you later MB.
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    (Original post by Trousers)
    If you don't want people to make comments about your situation, why are you asking for advice? I notice you didn't criticise Musicbloke for thinking he can do the same thing - maybe because he's telling you exactly what you want to hear (controversial, I know).

    The fact that you are asking for help in this situation struck me as very childish, and I was simply trying to point out that your parents are human beings who are being mistreated - you're just taking their money and then whining about it. If you don't want it, don't take it.

    Musicbloke, I know that a parent who gives their child material things is not necessarily a good parent by definition, and there may well be some deep-rooted problems with the relationship here. But if he wants to get it sorted out, the first thing sm0273 should do is learn to fend for himself so that he doesn't have to rely on his parents.

    If he was unable to get a job because of a disability (for instance), and his parents were treating him this way, he might have grounds for complaint. But he obviously has the intelligence to get himself a decent temping job (he's going to uni after all), and can very easily get himself out of this situation. For the sake of his relationship with his parents, he should do this as soon as possible.

    sm0273, have you tried having an adult conversation with your parents about this? There may be a very good reason why they're behaving this way. One that immediately springs to mind is that they may be having serious financial problems and might be itching for you to start supporting yourself so that they can sort them out. The longer you leave it, the more stressed they will get.

    you have completely missed the point again. well done. im not going to make this a long reply as I feel you are unable to understand whatever is said.

    thanks for your many useful insults though.
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    I have never had an allowance and I worked for the family business from the age of 13 on the same rate of pay as everyone else. I worked at uni and didnt own a car. My parents pay nothing towards my fees or accomodation (not becuase they dont want to but because they cant afford to). I have a brilliant realtionship with my parents and I think if you became more independant they would respect you more as a person and allow you to live your life how you want to.
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    (Original post by VVV1)
    I have never had an allowance and I worked for the family business from the age of 13 on the same rate of pay as everyone else. I worked at uni and didnt own a car. My parents pay nothing towards my fees or accomodation (not becuase they dont want to but because they cant afford to). I have a brilliant realtionship with my parents and I think if you became more independant they would respect you more as a person and allow you to live your life how you want to.
    what else am I supposed to do? say please dont give me money so I can work while im at uni instead of you helping me...

    or please take my car from me, it is so useless..

    *sigh* it is not as clear cut as many of these suggestions.
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    Do you live in private accomodation during term time? Maybe you could stay there and get a job there. I didnt mean dont accept anything from them because of course if it is on offer, why shouldnt you take it. What I am saying is if they did decide to take it all away, where would that leave you?
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    All this thread seems to be is bitter people whose parents watched to many Sally Jesse episodes on how to raise kids, and got chucked out of home at 18 berating the original poster. Sm if you want help I'd go ask elsewhere.
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    (Original post by VVV1)
    Do you live in private accomodation during term time? Maybe you could stay there and get a job there. I didnt mean dont accept anything from them because of course if it is on offer, why shouldnt you take it. What I am saying is if they did decide to take it all away, where would that leave you?
    skint - but im perfectly capable of finding a diff job. ..

    money is not the problem here.
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    (Original post by Kard)
    All this thread seems to be is bitter people whose parents watched to many Sally Jesse episodes on how to raise kids, and got chucked out of home at 18 berating the original poster. Sm if you want help I'd go ask elsewhere.

    i agree i was actually asking partially if anyone has heard of the same problem or not. not a range of insults for me and my family.
 
 
 
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