Feel as though I'm reaching crisis point

I have absolutely nobody to talk to in my world, which essentially consists of about a square mile anyway. I have no family and no friends. I dont think I have spoken to another human being in the last four months. (Not counting "No, I do not have a nectar card".)

While I generally prefer to be alone, it seems as though I have condemned myself to loneliness and now I am trapped. I find it exhausting and troubling talking to people, yet I want nothing more than someone to be friends with. I am so crushingly lonely and I have become so distant from my what I considered to be my best friends that I barely recognise them.

I guess there isnt really a point to this. More of a rant I guess. You guys are my only friends.

End of thread.

What happened to your family? Do you go to school/uni/job?

I am a student. I do not really want to talk about my family.

I just dont understand the world around me and how people derive pleasure from what they do. As a result I am left on the sidelines. I would not enjoy what they do yet I feel incredibly left out and alone because of it. I feel as though the world is just an insane place and that upsets me quite a lot. People are so irrational and uncaring and I find it so strange.

I think I kind of disconnected myself from it.

I know. And I care. Don't blame yourself for being disconnected. Is there absolutely no chance of you embracing who you are? What do you find pleasure in?

I find pleasure in the work that I do. I am about to publish a paper on a particular piece of research that I did and I am very excited about it. It challenges so many of the previous ideas in my field in a very novel way. This is probably the only thing that makes me happy. I want to revolutionise my discipline and I am so very close to doing so.

I just wish I had someone to laugh about it with when my paper is printed!

That's a beautiful thing. You obviously have passion. It's all right to feel disconnected - and I'm sure you know that most of the geniuses in the world (literary geniuses, mathematical geniuses, economical geniuses, scientific geniuses, ect) all felt exactly the same. And why? Because they were different. And that's fine. You have nothing to forgive yourself for. The reason you haven't found someone more like you is because you are rare. And you know what? I have the same issues. My father always cheers me with this: a rare thing is always more precious, always of more value than what is common.

Maybe you feel lost in this world because you are struggling to find the point to life? Ive heard of loadsa people like that!

That is a very kind way of seeing it! I appreciate the sentiments.



You might be right but this is because of the nature of the work that I do. My previous publications have taken a very deterministic view on the world and it leaves little room for individual autonomy. I have also managed to upset a lot of the people in my field in doing so!

Do you feel guilt?

For what?