This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Father beating an adult daughter
- RAF Reserves in Uni?
- heyy can somone mark my p&c essay for monday please!!
- army degree apprenticeship
- advice on joining the army/raf???
- Turning down LSE for KCL
- Is Nursing that Hard?
- improving my life <3
- For me to become a detective, should I go to university or the army (military police)
- Have I got any chance of getting into the military with my history?
- Joining the Army???
- Engineering HND to full Automotive Engineering Uni degree?
- Complicated situation with living arrangements and application
- Why Did I get my Uni placed Confirmed before Results day?
- my mother
- SFE query - estranged student
- british army self harm
- I haven't told my university about mitigating circumstances
- Need Advice
- Engineering HND to full Automotive Engineering Uni degree?
my my mother uni and the army :(
me and my mum are at logger heads. Ive given myself really bad shin splints and i cant join the army. My mum was really mad as it was quite obvious that i didnt want to join in the first place as i wasnt putting in all the work i should have been for the 2 day test time. My mum was really mad as ive wasted everyones time (which i have) and said i had to have a long hard think about whjat i wanted to do with my life. I said this morning i wanted to go to uni and i thought she told me to cancle the two day thing at the army becasue 1)i didnt want to go and 2) i had the shin splints. However now shes telling me that the wrong thing to do as now il be going to uni doing a course that wont get me anywhere (animal care and management HND with the option to "top up" after it) so now i dont know what the hell to do. Shes not pleased that she now has to fork out for me to go to uni and when i suggested getting a job she just laughed at me.
I know she should be mad at me becasue i did **** up but she was totally supportive of what i wanted to do at uni and now shes basically telling me its a **** course and she doesnt see why she should pay for it!
what do i do? Do i go to uni and have her resent me for it or do get a full time hoping i can eventually work with animals (thats what i want to do) instead
I know she should be mad at me becasue i did **** up but she was totally supportive of what i wanted to do at uni and now shes basically telling me its a **** course and she doesnt see why she should pay for it!
what do i do? Do i go to uni and have her resent me for it or do get a full time hoping i can eventually work with animals (thats what i want to do) instead
Scroll to see replies
trigger
me and my mum are at logger heads. Ive given myself really bad shin splints and i cant join the army. My mum was really mad as it was quite obvious that i didnt want to join in the first place as i wasnt putting in all the work i should have been for the 2 day test time. My mum was really mad as ive wasted everyones time (which i have) and said i had to have a long hard think about whjat i wanted to do with my life. I said this morning i wanted to go to uni and i thought she told me to cancle the two day thing at the army becasue 1)i didnt want to go and 2) i had the shin splints. However now shes telling me that the wrong thing to do as now il be going to uni doing a course that wont get me anywhere (animal care and management HND with the option to "top up" after it) so now i dont know what the hell to do. Shes not pleased that she now has to fork out for me to go to uni and when i suggested getting a job she just laughed at me.
I know she should be mad at me becasue i did **** up but she was totally supportive of what i wanted to do at uni and now shes basically telling me its a **** course and she doesnt see why she should pay for it!
what do i do? Do i go to uni and have her resent me for it or do get a full time hoping i can eventually work with animals (thats what i want to do) instead
I know she should be mad at me becasue i did **** up but she was totally supportive of what i wanted to do at uni and now shes basically telling me its a **** course and she doesnt see why she should pay for it!
what do i do? Do i go to uni and have her resent me for it or do get a full time hoping i can eventually work with animals (thats what i want to do) instead
At the end of the day, you have to live you life. If you want to work with Animals-then do it. Dont let anyone dictate you life fo you- If you wanna go to UNI to do the course...then do it.
Plus having a degree, means alot more doors open for you.
trigger
me and my mum are at logger heads. Ive given myself really bad shin splints and i cant join the army. My mum was really mad as it was quite obvious that i didnt want to join in the first place as i wasnt putting in all the work i should have been for the 2 day test time. My mum was really mad as ive wasted everyones time (which i have) and said i had to have a long hard think about whjat i wanted to do with my life. I said this morning i wanted to go to uni and i thought she told me to cancle the two day thing at the army becasue 1)i didnt want to go and 2) i had the shin splints. However now shes telling me that the wrong thing to do as now il be going to uni doing a course that wont get me anywhere (animal care and management HND with the option to "top up" after it) so now i dont know what the hell to do. Shes not pleased that she now has to fork out for me to go to uni and when i suggested getting a job she just laughed at me.
I know she should be mad at me becasue i did **** up but she was totally supportive of what i wanted to do at uni and now shes basically telling me its a **** course and she doesnt see why she should pay for it!
what do i do? Do i go to uni and have her resent me for it or do get a full time hoping i can eventually work with animals (thats what i want to do) instead
I know she should be mad at me becasue i did **** up but she was totally supportive of what i wanted to do at uni and now shes basically telling me its a **** course and she doesnt see why she should pay for it!
what do i do? Do i go to uni and have her resent me for it or do get a full time hoping i can eventually work with animals (thats what i want to do) instead
I think you need to take control of your own life. Having said that I think your mom does have a right to be aggrieved at your decision to study something that isn't going to get you anywhere (if indeed this is the case) if she has to foot the bill for it.
Clearly you didn't want to join the Army and I think that you've made the right decision in that regard. If it wasn't what you wanted it would be a waste of time to do it and would only make you miserable. Life's too short to be miserable! Now though, you need to make some hard decisions and I think you need to have some respect for your mom's money.
Howard
I think you need to take control of your own life. Having said that I think your mom does have a right to be aggrieved at your decision to study something that isn't going to get you anywhere (if indeed this is the case) if she has to foot the bill for it.
Clearly you didn't want to join the Army and I think that you've made the right decision in that regard. If it wasn't what you wanted it would be a waste of time to do it and would only make you miserable. Life's too short to be miserable! Now though, you need to make some hard decisions and I think you need to have some respect for your mom's money.
Clearly you didn't want to join the Army and I think that you've made the right decision in that regard. If it wasn't what you wanted it would be a waste of time to do it and would only make you miserable. Life's too short to be miserable! Now though, you need to make some hard decisions and I think you need to have some respect for your mom's money.
shes pissed becasue ive been lying to myself and her about wjether i wanted to join or not. i think the degree would get me somewhere and the uni im going to has some great carreas advisers. Shes also pissed that ive saved no money towards uni costs. Il be working a hell of a alot over the next few weeks
ive really screwed up im convinced she hates me now trigger
shes pissed becasue ive been lying to myself and her about wjether i wanted to join or not. i think the degree would get me somewhere and the uni im going to has some great carreas advisers. Shes also pissed that ive saved no money towards uni costs. Il be working a hell of a alot over the next few weeks ive really screwed up im convinced she hates me now
ive really screwed up im convinced she hates me now She doesnt hate you, just give a few days. Your young, you make mistakes.....your mum just worried about you..it seems you lack motivation..
trigger
i did for the army. I never wanted to join i only went along with it becasue i thought thats what she wanted
Thats your biggest mistake. Everyone is different. You have got to do what you want to do. Dont let anyone control you, you could have had a terrible time in the army, you didnt want to it which would have made it worse.
Just do what you want to do, not what is expected of you.
trigger
i want to go to uni but i feel terrible becasue ive saved no money whatsoever god ive ****ed up horribly
god ive ****ed up horriblyYour 18, you have not ****ed up. You have learnt a lesson. Some people at your age are on drugs and are close to death, or been kicked out the house and are living on the streets!!
Just go to Uni, work hard have fun!! Start saving money!!
(Im only 17 and im giving advice to 18 year old
Yeah Me)
you could take a year out and work full time somewhere getting some experience and then go to uni.
That way you will have some savings to help you, your Mum shouldn't have to contribute so much because of the top up fees being paid when you graduate and you should have some time to contemplate what you really want to do.
That way you will have some savings to help you, your Mum shouldn't have to contribute so much because of the top up fees being paid when you graduate and you should have some time to contemplate what you really want to do.
trigger
lol thanks you and howard have helped a mega amount. Im going to do uni and work my ass off for cash to show her i can do it!
Excellent
Go to Uni and work your ass off-make sure you have fun as well-your only 18, not 50!Luize
you could take a year out and work full time somewhere getting some experience and then go to uni.
That way you will have some savings to help you, your Mum shouldn't have to contribute so much because of the top up fees being paid when you graduate and you should have some time to contemplate what you really want to do.
That way you will have some savings to help you, your Mum shouldn't have to contribute so much because of the top up fees being paid when you graduate and you should have some time to contemplate what you really want to do.
apparently "thats a stupid idea"
trigger
lol thanks you and howard have helped a mega amount. Im going to do uni and work my ass off for cash to show her i can do it!
You need to sit down, and think "what do I want?" and then when have thought of what you want: Go get it!!
you want to work with animals?
If you spend a year working in a vets or dog kennels etc it could really help on your CV.
With the Govt pushing for 50% of people at uni you really need experience to get anywhere now. Even just getting an office job 9-5 and then volunteering at weekends with animals would help. You would have money to support yourself. And in the immediate future your Mum will be paying less as it will be just the same as it is now...no extra travel costs for uni, no bailing you out if you needed it (not suggesting you would) etc.
Your Mum may be an authority figure but you are an adult now and as much as parents stuggle to let go of their child image you need space to grow up on your own and make your own decisions. It's a difficult situation to be in because parents think they know best and times have changed since they were young. Persistance and determination should help I think.
If you spend a year working in a vets or dog kennels etc it could really help on your CV.
With the Govt pushing for 50% of people at uni you really need experience to get anywhere now. Even just getting an office job 9-5 and then volunteering at weekends with animals would help. You would have money to support yourself. And in the immediate future your Mum will be paying less as it will be just the same as it is now...no extra travel costs for uni, no bailing you out if you needed it (not suggesting you would) etc.
Your Mum may be an authority figure but you are an adult now and as much as parents stuggle to let go of their child image you need space to grow up on your own and make your own decisions. It's a difficult situation to be in because parents think they know best and times have changed since they were young. Persistance and determination should help I think.
trigger
ive had lots of experience with animals i work in a pet shop ive owned horeses worked at a kennels and groomers and i own some crazy things lol so thats not an issue. i just cant cope with her atm
Why not become a farrier? They earn good money and since you have a love of our equine friends it might just suit you.
I think you really need to stop trying to please your mum. She mentioned the army so you thought you'd do that as it would please her. But you realised it's not what you wanted so you decided to do the uni course. Why you mum suddenly decided it's not a good idea even though she supported you at first I don't know. My mum is a bit like that too though, I've been firm though and not let her influence me any more.
It is her money, but as others have said, this is your life and you mum will be proud of you once she sees that you are happy in life. She's probably just worried that this course will get you nowhere and that you will end up unhappy and without any money.
While she will certainly have to pay for the first year now, since you haven't saved up any money yet, you still have the option of taking up part time work while you're at uni (which I'm going to do) and work in the holidays. You should be able to work hard in the next summer hols and save up a lot them for the second year.
But really just sit down and think about your options, what do you want to do? The army was not really your idea and so it didn't work out, you have to find something you really want to do, or it will be a waste of time.
If you really think this degree will get you the job you want, then go for it is my advice!
It is her money, but as others have said, this is your life and you mum will be proud of you once she sees that you are happy in life. She's probably just worried that this course will get you nowhere and that you will end up unhappy and without any money.
While she will certainly have to pay for the first year now, since you haven't saved up any money yet, you still have the option of taking up part time work while you're at uni (which I'm going to do) and work in the holidays. You should be able to work hard in the next summer hols and save up a lot them for the second year.
But really just sit down and think about your options, what do you want to do? The army was not really your idea and so it didn't work out, you have to find something you really want to do, or it will be a waste of time.
If you really think this degree will get you the job you want, then go for it is my advice!
Related discussions
- Father beating an adult daughter
- RAF Reserves in Uni?
- heyy can somone mark my p&c essay for monday please!!
- army degree apprenticeship
- advice on joining the army/raf???
- Turning down LSE for KCL
- Is Nursing that Hard?
- improving my life <3
- For me to become a detective, should I go to university or the army (military police)
- Have I got any chance of getting into the military with my history?
- Joining the Army???
- Engineering HND to full Automotive Engineering Uni degree?
- Complicated situation with living arrangements and application
- Why Did I get my Uni placed Confirmed before Results day?
- my mother
- SFE query - estranged student
- british army self harm
- I haven't told my university about mitigating circumstances
- Need Advice
- Engineering HND to full Automotive Engineering Uni degree?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 1 month ago
Engineering vs. Medicine: Stuck Between Dreams and ExpectationsLast reply 1 month ago
heyyy , im new heree and im willing to have some friends xxxLast reply 1 month ago
Im 16 and never had a gf and it doesnt feel ok.
