Top Ten Reasons For Being.........

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH :
1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay
2. Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time
3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs
4. If there's a war you can surrender really early
5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries
7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride
9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street
10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN :
1. You can have a woman president without electing her
2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it
3. You can call Budweiser beer
4. You can be a crook and still be president
5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything
6. If you can breathe you can get a gun
7. You can invent a new public holiday every year
8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"
10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth. When you're not at all.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH :
1. Two World Wars and One World Cup (doo-dah doo-dah...)
2. Warm beer
3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket
4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events
5. Union jack underpants
6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer
7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
8. Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not
9. Ditto changing underwear
10. You produce reliable motor cars

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN :
1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.
3. No need to worry about tax returns
4. Glorious military history (.. well....till about 400 ad.)
5. Can wear sunglasses inside
6. Political stability
7. Flexible working hours
8. Live near the Pope
9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair
10. Country run by Sicilian murderers

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH :
1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes
2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees
3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc
4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans
5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing
6. Honesty
7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls
8. You get to eat bulls' testicles
9. Gibraltar
10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN :
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. In-built sense of pacifism

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN :
1. Chicken Madras
2. Lamb Passanda
3. Onion Bhaji
4. Bombay Potato
5. Chicken Tikka Masala
6. Rogan Josh
7. Popadoms
8. Chicken Dopiaza
9. Meat Boona
10. Kingfisher lager

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH :
1. Guinness
2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives
3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road
4. Pubs never close
5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in the second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on.
6. No one can ever remember the night before
7. Kill people you don't agree with
8. Stew
9. More Guinness
10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN :
1. It beats being an American.
2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
3. You can play ice hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.
7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge fuckoff shotguns and cover your house in their skins
9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme.
10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING A NEW ZEALANDER:
1. Sheep
2. It's close to Australia
3. Sheep
4. Last country in the world to build the Morris 1000
5. Sheep
6. Immigration
7. Sheep
8. Footrot Flats
9. Sheep
10. The All-Blacks
11. Velcro

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN:
1. Beer
2. Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bastard that no civilised nation on earth wanted.
3. Elle McPherson's body
4. Annihilate England every time you play them at cricket.
5. Tact and sensitivity.
6. Best Aussie Rules Team in the World.
7. Only country that plays Aussie Rules.
8. When any country that plays you in Rugby League.
9. When any country plays you in Rugby Union (except maybe New Zealand & now england wooooooo! haha)
10. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Good copy/paste job

Reply 2

curryADD

2776

Good copy/paste job

hmmmm......i really liked the american ones......especailly the buddy part.....so so true! i do it all the time :biggrin:

thought the enlgish ones were a bit biast though!

Reply 3

4Ed

majik

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH :
1. Two World Wars and One World Cup (doo-dah doo-dah...)
2. Warm beer
3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket
4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events
5. Union jack underpants
6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer
7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
8. Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not
9. Ditto changing underwear
10. You produce reliable motor cars

ummm a couple of these are not up to date anymore......... 2 World cups.......

Reply 4

Bhaal85

Is this suppose to be a parody of the 'Indian' thread, cause its just a poor attempt and is not even the slightest bit funny.

Reply 5

curryADD

Bhaal85

Is this suppose to be a parody of the 'Indian' thread, cause its just a poor attempt and is not even the slightest bit funny.

i thought the american one was true.....even though its not as funni as the indian thread!

and your sig wasnt as good as mine was!

Reply 6

viviki

Where is the Indian thread?

Reply 7

Bhaal85

viviki

Where is the Indian thread?

For your viewing pleasure:

http://www.uk-learning.net/t17126.html

Reply 8

jediknight007

This ain't funny anymore you know....

Reply 9

viviki

Bhaal85

For your viewing pleasure:

http://www.uk-learning.net/t17126.html

Thankyou I will give you rep when I get some to give out.

Reply 10

Sire

viviki

Thankyou I will give you rep when I get some to give out.

Giving rep for what may I ask?

Reply 11

pal_sch

These are all true, therefore funny.
I agree with the English and American ones especialy, as I have more familiarity with these countries. The N.Z. ones where the funniest.

Reply 12

]{ingnik

pal_sch

These are all true, therefore funny.
I agree with the English and American ones especialy, as I have more familiarity with these countries. The N.Z. ones where the funniest.