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So...talking to girls? watch

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    Okay, i'm a guy, and i'm single. I split up with a long term girlfriend 2-3 months ago and I am just starting to get over her now. Before that (3 years ago) I had loads of female friends from school who knew me well and so I could get on with them really easily. My problem now however is that I have finished Uni and moved back up to Scotland and I just don't quite know how to approach girls I like and get to know them.

    So my question is this, given that I am quite good looking (so I keep getting told anyway), and that I am single, how do I go about just randomly starting conversations with girls without seeming desperate, pervy, nervous, etc.

    And also, when on a date what sort of things can people talk about without making the other person feel like they are being interviewed?

    I have lots of experience with girls but not much experience at getting to know new girls in my life if you know what I mean, I would just like to learn how to approach women really?

    Cheers, Cal
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    The weather
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    (Original post by mankyscot2)
    given that I am quite good looking (so I keep getting told anyway),

    how do I go about just randomly starting conversations with girls without seeming desperate, pervy, nervous, etc

    Cal
    Wasn't Cal the weirdo fiance in Titanic?

    Forget the "I am quite good looking" mantra. How would you start conversations if you were a Eugene from Big Brother type? To answer the question - be naturally spontaneous and fun. Serendipity's a wonderful thing.
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    (Original post by feelthesunshine)
    Wasn't Cal the weirdo fiance in Titanic?

    Forget the "I am quite good looking" mantra. How would you start conversations if you were a Eugene from Big Brother type? To answer the question - be naturally spontaneous and fun. Serendipity's a wonderful thing.
    You are a bloke and you know the peoples names out of Titanic?

    And did you watch the Big Brother final, Eugene is going to get LAID...plus he was on the Chris Moyles show and everybody loved him.

    I don't think I know how to be naturally spontaneous. Any tips?
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    Hmmm, I am no expert considering the fact that I'm the OP of the "17 and still no girlfriend" post but I would say the cliche "Just be yourself" would be the most suitable advice to give. However, I am never satisfied by such pieces of advice so I would suggest that if you are finding it difficult to try and look a little more interested in what has to say than you really might be. As for starting the conversation, I suppose that is either the easiest of the hardest part depending on your personality. Dude's suggestion is clearly the easiest way out (or in if thats how you would like to put it). Here is a personal example: I was at this club when I saw this gorgeous waitress. She must have been around my age, max 18. I really wanted to talk to her, but I waited too long. It's a lot harder with waitresses cause they get guys randomly trying to flirt with them all night long. Anyway, I asked her what time the club was gonna close. She replyed. I told her she reminded me of a girl from my class. She smiled. Said a couple more things but then I decided to drop it as I clearly no chance with a waitress in a night club. Anyway, I only started to talking to her because I wanted to test myself. And it worked. I could have continued the conversation if I wanted to but I did enough I think. Just remember, once you have said the first words, don't let the conversation die out on you...otherwise you'll get rediculously emarrassing moments where nobody says anything. Think up of a couple of things to say quickly. That should get the fire going.
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    Or you could just do what my ex boyfriend did when we broke up - find the nearest woman and marry her :mad:
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    (Original post by deej2)
    Is that a bit of a sore subject with you blissy?

    Anyway, you wouldnt have met Daveo if that hadnt had happened.
    Thats every true.
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    Yeah I was looking for advice or past experiences, conversation starters, etc.

    Telling me to be spontaneous doesn't really help me because I know that, and being spontaneous won't help me if I can't get a conversation going in the first place.

    p.s. sorry to hear about that blissy
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    I think it's quite funny actually

    Anyway, I reckon it's all about the eye contact. If you make good eye contact before approaching her then you know there's a mutual "mmm I'd like to talk to that person.." thing. Approach her, say hi and ask how she is. Then I suppose you have to comment on something topical and rather mundane as a starting point - is she wearing something distinctive? is she with her friends? anything notable about the place you're in?

    I think the most important thing is having the reciprocated eye contact because then you know you're already in with a chance. You're not pouncing on her unexpectedly and then trying to and impress her with your sensational conversation. She's more likely to be as reponsible for the conversation going well (and therefore less burden on you) if you've got her interest before you go over.
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    where exactly are you planning on meeting these girls because meeting someone in a pub is different to a club is different to a knitting society!!
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    Can I ask the obious question of:

    "What if the girl is drunk everytime you see her because she is a real lightweight and you have a guy code of not taking advantage of drunken girls?"
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    Get introduced to girls by friends, be funny and smile all the time. DO NOT give them too much attention, girls crave what they can't have (FACT)...
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    (Original post by blissy)
    I think it's quite funny actually

    Anyway, I reckon it's all about the eye contact. If you make good eye contact before approaching her then you know there's a mutual "mmm I'd like to talk to that person.." thing. Approach her, say hi and ask how she is. Then I suppose you have to comment on something topical and rather mundane as a starting point - is she wearing something distinctive? is she with her friends? anything notable about the place you're in?

    I think the most important thing is having the reciprocated eye contact because then you know you're already in with a chance. You're not pouncing on her unexpectedly and then trying to and impress her with your sensational conversation. She's more likely to be as reponsible for the conversation going well (and therefore less burden on you) if you've got her interest before you go over.
    "I see you are a YF. So am I!"
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    (Original post by mankyscot2)
    Yeah I was looking for advice or past experiences, conversation starters, etc.

    Telling me to be spontaneous doesn't really help me because I know that, and being spontaneous won't help me if I can't get a conversation going in the first place.

    p.s. sorry to hear about that blissy
    How about: What do you call a heavy polar bear?
    She says: Erm . . .
    You say: An Icebreaker, :laugh:, then go into a convo.
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    (Original post by Dude)
    Can I ask the obious question of:

    "What if the girl is drunk everytime you see her because she is a real lightweight and you have a guy code of not taking advantage of drunken girls?"
    Depends on who the girl is, if you know her well or if you have only just met her.

    I would say that if I have liked the girl for some time and I think she likes me too then I would probably just kiss her and if she wants to take it further then so be it (as long as she isn't totally bladdered). If I didn't know her at all then I would not try and pull her, but it would depend.

    My last girlfriend and I started our relationship from a very drunk night out on her birthday, so being drunk is not all that bad. As long as you can still perform...
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    (Original post by deej2)
    How about: What do you call a heavy polar bear?
    She says: Erm . . .
    You say: An Icebreaker, :laugh:, then go into a convo.
    Mate thats terrible, and what if she looks at me in disgust after this awful joke.

    Mind you, I laughed so why shouldn't she?

    Maybe I will try that one. Has anybody else got any conversation starters?
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    (Original post by mankyscot2)
    Mate thats terrible, and what if she looks at me in disgust after this awful joke.

    Mind you, I laughed so why shouldn't she?

    Maybe I will try that one. Has anybody else got any conversation starters?
    It does actually work alot of the time, because you get the same response as you gave me, a "Christ thats terrible", then you get onto better subjects.
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    I am talking on behalf of 90% of women: we hate really obvious chat-up lines, so don't bother. Just try to be friendly, and it helps if you have a sense of humour. And smile a lot, if you have a nice smile. The worst thing you can do is be over-confident and slimy. Ugh.
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    Yeah i wasn't wanting chat up lines i just want some tips to approach women. I have the confidence and I have the smile but I just am worried that if I say hi I will have nothing to follow up. Does any of this make sense. I don't nessicarily want to bed them I just like getting to know women. I have had female friends my whole life and now I have none.
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    Don't try and meet people in clubs and stuff - meet them naturally through friends. If you do see a girl that you like in a club, don't go up and chat - just stand nearby (with other people - best if they're girls) and wait for her to say hi to you! Mind you; some of my friends who do initiate conversations and get results use this approach: They act cool and polite (though semi disinterested) when chatting to a girl at a bar, waiting for a drink. They make a comment about the place, or (even better!) ask her a question, but make it clear they don't want a long convo, just an answer. When they get an answer, they smile and say "Thanks. See you later/Have a good night!" and walk off. Then, if they bump into them later, they say hi (they've already met) and the girl automatically sees this person as more of a friend than some random cheesy guy who's hitting on her! Chatting commences and then it's up to you... I can't vouch for this technique personally, but it's what my friends use and I'd say they have a fairly high success rate when you factor in their looks and their targets' looks. wow... what an essay! :p:
 
 
 
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