The Garth Marenghi&#x27;s Darkplace Appreciation Society

I must save my society from going under so here is an example of the humour of darkplace:

The episode plots are thus:

Episode 1 - Dr Rick Dagless's old friend randomly explodes after being committed however this ends up opening the gates of hell.

Episode 2 - The new recruit, Liz, goes psycho after having to queue for hours for her chicken supper and eventually through the use of telekinetic powers holds the hospital hostage with floating staplers etc.

Episode 3 - A giant eye rapes a man. The man then goes on to have a baby called Skipper the Eye Child. Garth uses the baby to compensate for the death of his own son, who incidentally was born half human half grasshopper.

Episode 4 - A peculiar man-ape contaminates the hospital's water supply turning everyone into apes.

Episode 5 - The hospital is besieged by "Scotch Mist" and Dagless has to save the hospital by confronting his own prejudices about the Scotch people - who apparently want only to kill the Queen and subvert the English way of life.

Episode 6 - A strange green mist surrounds the hospital and turns a woman into broccoli. Dagless's best friend however falls in love with the patient and makes love to her catching the infaction resulting in the removal of his penis.
This episode contains the immortal line:

"Garth is the most significant artist I've ever worked with and I've worked with Lulu and 4 other artists.... so we are talking creme de la creme."

Reply 2

wayne_cramp

darkplace is awesome. the best episode i saw was scotch mist. i really want to see them again so think i might be forced to buy a copied dvd as i cant find anywhere to download any of the episodes from.

Reply 3

ooh i'll join

best moment

Sanchez's song "One Track Lover"

actually downloaded that and it rules

www.garthmarenghi.com

^read the book synopsis', they're very funny

Reply 4

The best part of Darkplace , other than the songs of course, has to be Thornton Reed/Dean Learner; everything about him from his crap acting to the crazy lines he get are brilliant.
For example:

As Dean Learner;
"I hit one of the child actors on the set.... it wasn't so much of punch.. more of a back of the hand slap... but anyway he came in a big bruise... went to the press... cry cry cry... I don't see it as a problem."

As Thornton Reed:
"If Wan Ton hears about this my arse is grass and he's got a lawnmower. You dig?!"

"Come on you two queers we've got to lick this problem before it turns around and slaps us in the nuts!"

"Now I'm backing Dagless 110%. That means I could backtrack 10% and still be competely behind him."

"You're right. The main reason I went into medicine was for the laughs, that and the pussy. But that dried up 10 year ago if you'll pardon the expression!"

Reply 5

Garth Marenghi

I’m firing off this missive to calm my flock o’chill-dren. First off the bat, thanks are due to those of you who continue to blow the torch of Darkplace, notably all at the ‘Save Darkplace’ website. Cheers fellas, keep up the bad work (by which I mean good work). I owe you a figurative beer. (You won’t actually get a beer from me).

The news on a second season of Darkplace is thus. There is no news. Sadly the rest of the tapes of mein meisterwerk are likely to remain chez Marenghi unless the world makes some kind of evolutionary leap and catches up with my vision. And, between you, me and the proverbial, I think I might have taped over one of them with an episode of The Thornbirds. Tant pis, the digital versatile disc is nearing completion and will feature the following terrifying treatlets:

Commentaries to all episodes
Deleted scenes
Test footage
Original ‘One Track Lover’ Single (Extended Version)
Over an hour of extra talking heads
Photo galleries
Original radio ads
Original storyboards and storyboard to scene comparisons
Plus more

In short, it will render all previous DVDs redundant. (And shut down those shameless profiteering sons of bitches on E-bay.) I will let you know the release date as soon as I have it or pretty soon after I have it.

Till then, I remain your obedient shaman, Garth Marenghi

PS. If you were wondering what happened to the mooted repeats of Darkplace, I suggest you write to the Home Secretary.

PPS. If you happen to be in Croatia, Todd’s got a new Taco commercial out there this week only.

PPPS. Do check out my website garthmarenghi.com for new content this week. Spread The Word, pilgrims.

Can't wait for the DVD, extended version of one track lover will be awesome
This is the first information i've actually seen about it as well which is pretty good

Reply 6

Dean Learner: She was like a candle in the wind... unreliable.

Padre: [to Dr. Rick Dagless] You're the most sensitive man I know, and I know god.

Dr Liz Asher: [talking about a patient that has turned green] Apparently she was in for a routine operation to get her toe shortened which was really long like a finger, the next thing she knew this happened. All in all you could say that she's a little off color.
[Thorton, Liz, and Dagless all laugh]
Dr Lucien Sanchez: [shouts] You shut your mouth Liz!
Dr. Rick Dagless: No you shut your mouth Sanch, that was funny.

Thorton Reed: I've been there hombre, when I heard my wife died I could barely finish my lunch.

Dr. Sanchez: I know "mon" means man, but I don't think "Och" means anything.

Garth Marenghi: I have never exploded. But I know what it would be like. Don't ask me how. I just know. I've always just known.
Dean Learner: Now I don't know whether someone close to Garth had exploded - whether it was a colleague or a pet - but you could tell that scene meant a lot to him. There were tears on set. Not from Garth. He was strong for the crew. But I wept. I'm not ashamed of that.

More funny quotes
The bit when he picks up one of his books and reads it is funny too

Reply 7

Some beautiful quotes

Another classic:

Dean Learner: "Alas the fllowing scene is lost. The pertaining can of film was destroyed in a drinks related misadventure in Fulham. It was an idiotic altercation; one which I regret for both personal and professional reasons."

or

Garth: "As a horror writer I don't ask for much. I just hoipe I've changed the way you think about life." (The last line of the entire series.)

Reply 8

HFFF--- i am a darkplace fan too.....eamoon the git ...got the dvd copy for b-day..

i read the script ot skipper an the eyechild..amazing ....even in script form

Reply 9

you and he were buddies ....werent you.......need i say more , need i say more---

Dr. Sanchez

Reply 10

"Day draws into night-time
yonder star shines bright
You can be my baby
I hope that is Allright
(Daddy don't forget me...)
I haven't but your dead
You have a little brother now
And one day we'll all meet in Valhalla"

Reply 11

Tune

Reply 12

As a horror writer, when I write I try to have a message. Even if the message is only 'do not bio engineer crabs to be as big as man'

Reply 13

ruppers

oh god simply the best comedy show of the past few years.

Reply 14

Tis nice to see that the Darklpace fanbase grows ever larger... :biggrin:

Reply 15

ruppers

oh god simply the best comedy show of the past few years.

dramatic

Reply 16

Just keeping this thread alive... I refuse to let it go under........ Long live Garth!!!!
Anway:

Dean Learner: "I used to call Madeleine Wool "Menagerie Wool." I always been good with words."

Garth Marenghi: "I'm a language junkie, that's my hit. You know just to think of that poem by Wordsworth..."I wandered lonely as a cloud that floats oer vales and hills when all at once I saw a crowd, a host of gleaming daffodils. And to think that rhyming dictionaries weren't even around when Bill wrote that is very humbling."

Dearn Learner: "I have a hunch she's in the eastern block somewhere.." (Referring to ex co-star Madeeine Wool.)
Interviewer: "So you think she's alive then?"
Dearn Lerner; "No she's probably buried in the eastern block... if she got a burial at all."

Reply 17

hahahahahahha.....aaahh. i forgot to flush

Reply 18