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Advice? sort of...
I work in an office where most people are graduates. I'm the youngest by about 4 years, but have managed to socialise quite a bit with the people between about 23 and 27. (A lot of them recently graduated from the uni I'm about to go to, which is cool.)
Anyway, I really fancy this guy Steve (all names changed) and have done since before Christmas. We have pulled a few times and spent the night together on several occasions although I have never actually slept with him. He likes me but I think he thinks I'm too young.
In the summer, our company takes on summer students for 6 weeks. This guy called John was working with us for the last 6, and seemed to be interested in me. I thought he was quite nice looking, seemed very friendly, very intelligent etc. We got on pretty well.
On Friday night it was Alex's birthday, so we all went out and got drunk, as you do. I was chatting and socialising with everyone and having a good time. Towards the end of the night, John said something like, "If it's not too forward, can I have your number?" Or something like that. Those weren't his exact words, but he made me laugh a bit. I gave him my number anyway. Then a few minutes later Steve told me he was going home and asked me whether I wanted to go with him. The alternative was finding somewhere to sleep on Alex's kitchen floor, so it's always quite an attractive option to go home and share Steve's nice double bed, knowing there will be breakfast and a shower in the morning. Yes, things do tend to happen between us, and yes, on Friday night they did.
Then in the morning I found a text message on my phone that John had sent the night before, giving me his number. From the way he phrased it, he clearly didn't think I'd given him my real phone number. So I texted him back later on in the day to let him know it really was me, and ask him how he was etc. He never replied.
The night before, he'd seemed quite keen. So I'm guessing someone probably said, "Oh, I wouldn't bother with her, she's gone off with Steve. Happens all the time, she fancies him." Or something like that.
Anyway, he hasn't replied, and I think that's what happened and he's probably not interested any more. Which would be a shame, because he's nice and I'd like to see him again.
What do you think? Has he changed his mind? Should I text him again?
Anyway, I really fancy this guy Steve (all names changed) and have done since before Christmas. We have pulled a few times and spent the night together on several occasions although I have never actually slept with him. He likes me but I think he thinks I'm too young.
In the summer, our company takes on summer students for 6 weeks. This guy called John was working with us for the last 6, and seemed to be interested in me. I thought he was quite nice looking, seemed very friendly, very intelligent etc. We got on pretty well.
On Friday night it was Alex's birthday, so we all went out and got drunk, as you do. I was chatting and socialising with everyone and having a good time. Towards the end of the night, John said something like, "If it's not too forward, can I have your number?" Or something like that. Those weren't his exact words, but he made me laugh a bit. I gave him my number anyway. Then a few minutes later Steve told me he was going home and asked me whether I wanted to go with him. The alternative was finding somewhere to sleep on Alex's kitchen floor, so it's always quite an attractive option to go home and share Steve's nice double bed, knowing there will be breakfast and a shower in the morning. Yes, things do tend to happen between us, and yes, on Friday night they did.
Then in the morning I found a text message on my phone that John had sent the night before, giving me his number. From the way he phrased it, he clearly didn't think I'd given him my real phone number. So I texted him back later on in the day to let him know it really was me, and ask him how he was etc. He never replied.
The night before, he'd seemed quite keen. So I'm guessing someone probably said, "Oh, I wouldn't bother with her, she's gone off with Steve. Happens all the time, she fancies him." Or something like that.
Anyway, he hasn't replied, and I think that's what happened and he's probably not interested any more. Which would be a shame, because he's nice and I'd like to see him again.
What do you think? Has he changed his mind? Should I text him again?
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Someones probably told him that you went with Steve so you might aswell forget about him.
But is the fact I went home with Steve a huge problem? I'm a free agent, and I didn't sleep with him anyway.
susiemakemeblue
But is the fact I went home with Steve a huge problem? I'm a free agent, and I didn't sleep with him anyway.
Text him to let him know that you're a free agent because he probably thinks that you're with Steve.
Well it probably is a big deal to him.. He must feel completely second best so it's no wonder he's backed off a bit, he doesn't want to get hurt.
Guys have their egos to consider. You can't see both of them. So, if you are interested in John in *that* way, then text him casually dropping in how you regret going home with Steve. And don't keep up this casual sexual contact with Steve. If you prefer Steve you should probably leave it for a bit with this John if you want to be friends. Otherwise he'll just get the wrong idea and things will get messy.
Good luck!
Cxx
Guys have their egos to consider. You can't see both of them. So, if you are interested in John in *that* way, then text him casually dropping in how you regret going home with Steve. And don't keep up this casual sexual contact with Steve. If you prefer Steve you should probably leave it for a bit with this John if you want to be friends. Otherwise he'll just get the wrong idea and things will get messy.
Good luck!
Cxx
ciara
Well it probably is a big deal to him.. He must feel completely second best so it's no wonder he's backed off a bit, he doesn't want to get hurt.
Guys have their egos to consider. You can't see both of them. So, if you are interested in John in *that* way, then text him casually dropping in how you regret going home with Steve. And don't keep up this casual sexual contact with Steve. If you prefer Steve you should probably leave it for a bit with this John if you want to be friends. Otherwise he'll just get the wrong idea and things will get messy.
Good luck!
Cxx
Guys have their egos to consider. You can't see both of them. So, if you are interested in John in *that* way, then text him casually dropping in how you regret going home with Steve. And don't keep up this casual sexual contact with Steve. If you prefer Steve you should probably leave it for a bit with this John if you want to be friends. Otherwise he'll just get the wrong idea and things will get messy.
Good luck!
Cxx
I really, really like Steve. But I know it's never going to happen. Whereas I don't know John very well but there could be something there. I just don't know. But there's not really an issue with being friends with John, because he lives in the town where I work, which is 30 miles from where I live, and I will never see him again unless I actually instigate it.
Sorry to be harsh with you Katie but messing around casually with guys will get you nowhere. Obviously you now have no chance with either John or Steve.
No guy would want a proper relationship with a girl, who the day they met, she felt like going back home with some guy and have casual sex.
No guy would want a proper relationship with a girl, who the day they met, she felt like going back home with some guy and have casual sex.
So a kiss is casual sex now? 
If he's got any sense he'll do his best not to get into anything with you now. If i liked a bird and thought she liked me and she went off to stay at another blokes house i wouldn't speak to her again regardless of circumstances. You can't really lead someone on, do what you did, then think they'll still wanna speak to you.
No one knows whether anything happened between me and Steve. Anyone would have gone home with him because the alternative was sleeping on the floor.
susiemakemeblue
No one knows whether anything happened between me and Steve. Anyone would have gone home with him because the alternative was sleeping on the floor.
It's not whether anyone knows or not. Something happened. End of story.
If you chose to start something with John and he hasn't got a clue about you and Steve, it will come out sooner or later and I doubt he would find it easy to deal with.
What kind of message are you trying to send to this other guy by going home with Steve? I know if I was in Johns(was that his name?) position I would think you weren't interested in me, especially as you'd just gone home with another bloke..
What company do you work for out of interest? Is it like a big branch or just a local company sorta thing?
What company do you work for out of interest? Is it like a big branch or just a local company sorta thing?
imasillynarb
What kind of message are you trying to send to this other guy by going home with Steve? I know if I was in Johns(was that his name?) position I would think you weren't interested in me, especially as you'd just gone home with another bloke..
What company do you work for out of interest? Is it like a big branch or just a local company sorta thing?
What company do you work for out of interest? Is it like a big branch or just a local company sorta thing?
Medium sized actuarial company, offices in London and Winchester.
I was going to stay the night with some guy. It was unavoidable. This is because I live 30 miles away and they persuaded me to drink by saying someone would put me up for the night. Alex was offering me his kitchen floor, Steve was offering me a bed. I'm sure any girl would do the same thing.
Katie, I don't think you realise that you can't have your cake and eat it too. You seem to think that by getting a guy's number, and going home with another guy you fancy, you're keeping all the options open. You're doing everything but that.
If you decide that you want to be available for something great to happen with someone new, then you have to draw the line and decide that things are over with other people you might have gone out with or fancied: you can't just have sex, let things happen with these guys while still maintaining that hope that you'll meet someone. It's a very stupid attitude.
If you decide that you want to be available for something great to happen with someone new, then you have to draw the line and decide that things are over with other people you might have gone out with or fancied: you can't just have sex, let things happen with these guys while still maintaining that hope that you'll meet someone. It's a very stupid attitude.
I didn't have sex...I've said that lots of times now. And I had to sleep somewhere.
Well I just sent him a friendly text. Maybe he'll reply. We'll see...
SamTheMan
You let things happen. Whether it was a kiss or sex is a secondary issue.
There have to be some perks to being single.
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