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Advice? sort of... watch

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    (Original post by susiemakemeblue)
    There have to be some perks to being single.
    So decide that you're single and not looking for a relationship and that you want to keep things happening with your exes.

    Just don't think you can stay in between and have all the advantages. If it was that easy...
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    I don't want to be single, you know that. But if I am, I guess I should make the most of it.
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    (Original post by susiemakemeblue)
    I don't want to be single, you know that. But if I am, I guess I should make the most of it.
    While still letting things happen with exes? You have to draw the line if you want things to move on. You can't just continue with casual stuff, hoping that one day some guy will offer a serious relationship. Because it seems that you still went home with Steve because you're not sure that something will happen with Tom. So if you were sure, you wouldn't have let things happen with Steve?

    Well if you continue that way, you'll reduce your chances of someone like Tom ever wanting to start something with you.
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    After the end of September I might never see any of these people ever again. I doubt guys in the future are going to be influenced by this.
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    And for anybody else who might be reading this, Tom is John. :rolleyes:
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    I sort of agree with most of what has already been said.

    I find the best way to look at things is to flip the situtation round and imagine that you are on the other side of the line.

    So, if you were a new girl at work and liked a guy called Jack (hehe) and had just exchanged phone numbers; I reckon you'd feel pretty rejected, used and foolish if you later find out that he went home with another female colleague.

    Even if you just kissed Steve, it will appear to John that you did much more - girls don't usually go back to a guy's house just for sleep. He'll probably have heard about all this from someone else, an exaggerated version, and will have made his own assumptions. He probably feels like the idiot new guy at work.

    If you really feel you like him, you need to talk. Say what you want. If it's just a bit of casual fun before you start Uni then make sure he knows this too. If you do decide to take things further with John then you need to sort out the Steve situation as well, and explain what really happened to John.

    Basically I'd say two main things:

    1. Decide what you want
    2. Tell both Steve and John what you want

    And then you can take things from there.

    Good Luck! x
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    have a threesome? everyone's pleased :party:
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    I think what you need to do it decide who you like and who you want to be with.

    You say you won't see any of them after summer so, if you're really keen on Steve but don't think it will go any where, ask him how he feels, cos if you embaress yourself it won't matter, as you won't see him again! Also, he could be thinking that you think he's too old for you, so probably doesn't want to push you.

    It sounds to me like you don't really want a relationship with John, maybe you just want to have a 'boyfriend'...correct me if I'm wrong...and there is nothing wrong with this, but if you don't like John as much, then stringing him along (although you may not plan to) would be wrong and cause hurt to both of you.

    Anyway, I hope you sort things out If things don't work out with either, there will probably be loads of guys at Uni
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    You probably made him feel rejected. His fault for not making it clearer. Send him a little explanation text...say something like "are you annoyed I went home with Steve? Because we're not going out" etc... Give him huge hints that you're very single and interested (men are quite thick and shy!).
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    (Original post by Lauren)
    You probably made him feel rejected. His fault for not making it clearer. Send him a little explanation text...say something like "are you annoyed I went home with Steve? Because we're not going out" etc... Give him huge hints that you're very single and interested (men are quite thick and shy!).
    Some of you girls :rolleyes: The poor guy plucks up enough courage to ask for her number all of a sudden it's his fault because he doesn't give the guarantee that a good relationship will follow?

    You know, guys aren't just there so you can pick and mix, and wait until there's one that offers you a serious relationship on a plate and then finally, you decide that "you have feelings for them now". Show guys a bit more respect. God, I'd never ever want to go out with a girl who thought that way (actually, unfortunately all my exes were pretty much like that All of a sudden, because you're the nice guy with morals who offers a serious relationship, all of a sudden they're crazy about you :rolleyes: ).

    No guy wants to feel like a girl's focus is entirely on him just because he has something to offer in terms of a stable relationship. It would be nice to know that a girl falls for you because of who you are0, full stop, and not for material/social/security reasons. In that case, the guy feels like you'd settle for pretty much any guy as long as he offered a serious relationship and was a good boyfriend. Guys want to feel special and to be respected too you know. It's not just about you girls :rolleyes:

    and she kissed Steve so telling him "are you annoyed I went home with Steve?" will only make him more pissed off when he finds out Katie has a sexual past with Steve.
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    (Original post by SamTheMan)
    Some of you girls :rolleyes: The poor guy plucks up enough courage to ask for her number all of a sudden it's his fault because he doesn't give the guarantee that a good relationship will follow?

    You know, guys aren't just there so you can pick and mix, and wait until there's one that offers you a serious relationship on a plate and then finally, you decide that "you have feelings for them now". Show guys a bit more respect. God, I'd never ever want to go out with a girl who thought that way (actually, unfortunately all my exes were pretty much like that All of a sudden, because you're the nice guy with morals who offers a serious relationship, all of a sudden they're crazy about you :rolleyes: ).

    No guy wants to feel like a girl's focus is entirely on him just because he has something to offer in terms of a stable relationship. It would be nice to know that a girl falls for you because of who you are0, full stop, and not for material/social/security reasons. In that case, the guy feels like you'd settle for pretty much any guy as long as he offered a serious relationship and was a good boyfriend. Guys want to feel special and to be respected too you know. It's not just about you girls :rolleyes:

    and she kissed Steve so telling him "are you annoyed I went home with Steve?" will only make him more pissed off when he finds out Katie has a sexual past with Steve.
    You know, us girls can say exactly the same thing about blokes, and often have far more cause to. Door swings boths ways.
 
 
 
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