She walked into an antique shop and asked "what's new"?.
Why could'nt she manage to make the ice-cubes
She could'nt find the recipe.
I went to the doctors with sausages around my mouth, potatoes around my ears and vegatables up my nose.
I said, "Doctor, whats wrong with me?"
He said, "You're not eating properly."
Good to see you've both got your coats..
A man walks into a pub, and notices Vincent Van Gogh is standing at the bar.
"Do you want a pint, Vince?" he asks.
"No, thanks," replies the artist. "I've got one 'ere."
A woman goes into the doctors and says:
"Doctor, my husband has dandruff, what can he do?"
The doctor replies:
"Have you tried giving him Head and Shoulders?"
The woman replies:
"How do you give shoulders?"
when does M jackson know its bed time?
when the big hand touches the little hand.
*is dissipointed* what a crap joke
!!!!!!!!!!!! *in shock*
OMG! i think your right.......
2 blondes walked into a building
You would have thought one of them would see it
A man walked into a bar.
(btw i'm blonde)
ooh got ultamite blonde joke:
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive
blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand pounds on a single roll of
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely
nude. With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled,
"Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES!YES!
I WON,I WON!"
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes
and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked,
"What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were
MORAL: Not all blondes are dumb,
But all men are men.
To prepare for his big date, the young man went on top of the roof of his apartment building in order to get a little color for himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude.
Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof, and managed to get sunburned on his "tool of trade."
Being very determined the young man decided not to miss his date because it was with a hot blonde. So, he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze, feeling this should resolve his painful situation.
The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home-cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie. During the movie, however, the young man's sunburn started acting up. After several minutes of extreme discomfort he asked to be excused, went to the kitchen, and poured a tall, cold glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain.
The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to find him with his nob immersed in a glass of milk.
Baffled, the blonde exclaimed, "So, THAT'S how you load those things!"