Do I confront her?

Anon or delete please.

A few years ago, I was seeing this boy who I really liked (let's call him Bob) and it ended terribly.I was sixteen and I ended up pregnant then having an abortion and developed depression and bipolar disorder as a result.

This was three years ago and I've tried my hardest to move on. I moved school to get away from the boy, I've been to a clinic for depressed teens, had counselling and psychotherapy ever since and I even had a session of hypnotism to stop the nightmares.I've spent the past couple of years trying to rebuild my life and forget about what happened.

About an hour ago, a friend of mine who I'll be living with at uni called me up. Our conversation was going well until she said 'I bumped into my friend Lucy who said that she'd seen a picture of us together on facebook. She asked how I knew you and said that you once dated her brother, Bob.'

She then went on to say that Lucy had happily filled her in on the abortion,the depression,me being in a clinic, my bipolar and a few added lies on top. That's not all, she's apparently told several other people who know me,too. I'm just devastated. I've spent so long trying to rebuild my life and move on now all these people know about it.

Standard gossip I can handle, I don't care if you call me fat,ugly,stupid, a slag etc but I do care when a past that I've tried so hard to move on from and personal information about a life-changing incident is being talked about.

What do you think I should do? I want to be able to leave it and ignore her but I can't if she insists on telling anybody who is a mutual friend who will listen. Should I send her a message asking her politely to stop?

I just can't deal with this :frown:

Thanks in advance.

Reply 1

Mann18

15

I don't think anyone can offer you anything more than clichés here.

Do what YOU think is best.

Reply 2

.PaperDoll.

8

Anonymous

.

I'm really sorry that you're going through this; it sounds awful. I don't understand why that boy's sister would be so nasty about you! :mad:

If this girl does spread stuff about you to new friends, the best thing is definitely to be honest; various things are experienced by various people and anyone who finds out about your past should deal with it. If someone told me all of that about you, it would reflect badly on her, not you.

Quite frankly, if anybody dislikes you for what happened, then lucky escape because they are not worth knowing.

Reply 3

unknownrebalz

17

Anonymous

Anon or delete please.

A few years ago, I was seeing this boy who I really liked (let's call him Bob) and it ended terribly.I was sixteen and I ended up pregnant then having an abortion and developed depression and bipolar disorder as a result.

This was three years ago and I've tried my hardest to move on. I moved school to get away from the boy, I've been to a clinic for depressed teens, had counselling and psychotherapy ever since and I even had a session of hypnotism to stop the nightmares.I've spent the past couple of years trying to rebuild my life and forget about what happened.

About an hour ago, a friend of mine who I'll be living with at uni called me up. Our conversation was going well until she said 'I bumped into my friend Lucy who said that she'd seen a picture of us together on facebook. She asked how I knew you and said that you once dated her brother, Bob.'

She then went on to say that Lucy had happily filled her in on the abortion,the depression,me being in a clinic, my bipolar and a few added lies on top. That's not all, she's apparently told several other people who know me,too. I'm just devastated. I've spent so long trying to rebuild my life and move on now all these people know about it.

Standard gossip I can handle, I don't care if you call me fat,ugly,stupid, a slag etc but I do care when a past that I've tried so hard to move on from and personal information about a life-changing incident is being talked about.

What do you think I should do? I want to be able to leave it and ignore her but I can't if she insists on telling anybody who is a mutual friend who will listen. Should I send her a message asking her politely to stop?

I just can't deal with this :frown:

Thanks in advance.

Sorry t hear about you troubled past....

If you feel that you simply can't ignore it then send her a POLITE message asking her not to tell anyone else and why.
Don't be aggressive as it may make the situation escalate into something worst.

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

politely send her a message if you really can't handle this.
if SOMEHOW she already told people, what's done is done
and the best option is if you just ignore it.

Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has to face them
as hard as this sounds, just be strong and you'll get through it
:smile:

Reply 5

stinky--pete

11

tell her that she had no right to tell anyone and that you told her in confidence. if it has set you back she needs to know and understand what she has done to you!! make sure you hold your head up high :smile:

hope this helps and good luck :smile:

Reply 6

Doodles89

I wouldnt bother sending her a message .. tbh by the sounds of it i don't think she would say "oh sorry I wont do it again"...

As others said she makes herself look extremely bad gossiping about you.. .and no matter how many she tells its just gossip and will be forgotten eventually

Chin up yeah?

Reply 7

Georgiahoneybee

1

I'm really sorry to hear about what you went through and are still going through.
Obviously this was a really difficult situation to recover from and I think you should congratulate yourself on how far you've come. I realise what this girl has been doing is a big setback, but you can't let it ruin all the progress you've made.
I'm really torn about whether you should confront her or not. It really depends on why she is telling everyone. If you think she's doing it because it's "good gossip" then I would say something to her because she needs to realise how this is affecting you and how important it is that she stop. If on the otherhand she is being vindictive, spiteful and trying to cause more upset then I don't think confronting her would benefit you. Perhaps you could send the "feelers" out- basically explaining what your friend told you and asking why she told this girl your personal history. From her reply, I would decide how to handle it. Once again, I'm sorry to hear about your situation and I hope you're back on track soon :smile:

Do I confront her?

Related discussions

Articles for you