This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Struggling massively with chat up lines on girls
- Penis won't fit in
- Running out of things to say in a relationship
- Should I drop out and change universities?
- Is this love or lust?
- should i accept rent contributions from my partner
- How do you know if someone’s a cheater?
- Am I being a mug?
- How to break up with long term bf after his mum has died
- Am I just being used?
- Co worker asks me for dinner despite knowing I have a boyfriend. I already said no
- I’m so nervous about socialising at uni that I’m considering withdrawing my place.
- Relationship advise
- i think my friend's boyfriend said something about her mental health
- Haven’t seen things from me? What does my bf mean. Cried all night
- Approaching girls at the club
- Could anyone help me understand what happened with her?
- something my bf did
- Is there a chance for the relationship to work?
- Am I unattractive? What is it?
I seriously struggle to make conversation with my boyfriend
How lame is that?
I've always thought I could draw an interesting-ish conversation out of anybody (and I do!), but I've been with my boyfriend for 6-7 months now and there's still those awkward silences during conversations. I think the world of him - we have everything in common, but his behavious is often awkward.. It makes me feel awkward.. And we really struggle to engage in any meaningful chat.
I even actually feel quite uncomfortable around him sometimes. It's such a wierd situation to be in - he just called me to say he was on his way home.. And it was the most strained 5 minutes of idle small talk I've ever had. Then he really abruptly said he had to go and hung up.
Can anyone help? Serious replies only please.. I'll systematically rep the helpful ones.
I've always thought I could draw an interesting-ish conversation out of anybody (and I do!), but I've been with my boyfriend for 6-7 months now and there's still those awkward silences during conversations. I think the world of him - we have everything in common, but his behavious is often awkward.. It makes me feel awkward.. And we really struggle to engage in any meaningful chat.
I even actually feel quite uncomfortable around him sometimes. It's such a wierd situation to be in - he just called me to say he was on his way home.. And it was the most strained 5 minutes of idle small talk I've ever had. Then he really abruptly said he had to go and hung up.
Can anyone help? Serious replies only please.. I'll systematically rep the helpful ones.
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
How did you ever come to be in a relationship with him? Surely in a relationship of 6-7 months, silences are comfortable, not awkward?My boyfriend is the person I find the easiest to talk to, and have the most to say to.
what to suggest! Although it sort of sounds like the problem is him.Reply 2
Thats quite a problem. Surley if you have the same intrests then you can talk about them?
Reply 3
I had this towards the end of my relationship. I think maybe it was because we weren't as open as we should have been because the relationship was formed slightly differently to the norm.
Tell him some things that you wouldn't tell friends normally and he'll subconsciously think you're being more open and therefore he can too, without you judging him (that was a problem I had).
Tell him some things that you wouldn't tell friends normally and he'll subconsciously think you're being more open and therefore he can too, without you judging him (that was a problem I had).
Reply 4
This is what I'm afraid will happen if I get a girlfriend :/
That's unbelievable. You both sound like you're socially retarded. Do you have "meaningful chats" with anyone else? Does he? I'm willing to bet no.
People saying "talk about same interests" are way off the mark. You're not trying to be friends here. You're just supposed to verbalise whatever you're thinking even if it's complete garbage. It's not hard.
People saying "talk about same interests" are way off the mark. You're not trying to be friends here. You're just supposed to verbalise whatever you're thinking even if it's complete garbage. It's not hard.
Reply 6
Well, to shed a little more light - he's unbelievably clever. He's the most intelligent guy I think I've ever met, but with it he's quite awkward in his mannerisms.. We are doing PhDs in the same subject so we should have loads to discuss (about work if nothing else!), but he goes wierd when it's brought up so I generally steer clear of discussing it. We've (awkwardly) chewed over our mutual interests but i'm sad that we can't "really" get into these subjects together.. He's told me numerous times that I intimidate him and at first apparently he was "terrified" of me (?) (I'm nice, honest!). I just want to relax around him and feel comfortable talking cr*p occasionally.. But I'm scared he'll think less of me if I say something meaningless.
Oh God. Are we doomed??
Oh God. Are we doomed??
Reply 7
Unless there's strong (and pure) physical attraction driving this relationship, I don't understand how you could still be in it. Surely one of the things a long-term relationship necessitates is the ability to communicate?
That said, one of my best friends is in the same situation as you, and she's been going out with the guy for about 1.5years now. She's not happy though, and we both know they won't last.
That said, one of my best friends is in the same situation as you, and she's been going out with the guy for about 1.5years now. She's not happy though, and we both know they won't last.
Reply 10
Overmars
That's unbelievable. You both sound like you're socially retarded. Do you have "meaningful chats" with anyone else? Does he? I'm willing to bet no.
Actually yes. I'm very passionate about what I do and I can make friends and talk freely with the vast majority.. So can he! When were alone, that notion crumbles beyond recognition. Like I said, really wierd situation that I'm not equipped to handle. And it's been like this from the start (although things have slightly improved since then).
Reply 11
Seems you are at married status a bit early. 
But, seriously, you need to sit down with each other and talk this through. Find topics you can both happily talk about. If not, perhaps counselling is in order?
Or, go out and do stuff together to avoid the awkwardness between the two of you. Seems like quite a weak relationship though, if you ask me, unfortunately.
But, seriously, you need to sit down with each other and talk this through. Find topics you can both happily talk about. If not, perhaps counselling is in order?
Or, go out and do stuff together to avoid the awkwardness between the two of you. Seems like quite a weak relationship though, if you ask me, unfortunately.
Anonymous
I just want to relax around him and feel comfortable talking cr*p occasionally.. But I'm scared he'll think less of me if I say something meaningless.
Everyone thinks and talks about random rubbish. Why would he think any less of you?
Pick a fight or something. See what happens. Get some banter going. Take the piss. Every relationship needs some immaturity.
Reply 13
mabie he's done sommert worng and he's been weird with you beacuse of that? cheated? not in love anymore?
horrid to think about but that may be why he's gone too quiert.
how did you ever find him so intresting you feel in love with him? coz he sound like a bore when he's with you.
horrid to think about but that may be why he's gone too quiert.
how did you ever find him so intresting you feel in love with him? coz he sound like a bore when he's with you.
Anonymous
How lame is that?
I've always thought I could draw an interesting-ish conversation out of anybody (and I do!), but I've been with my boyfriend for 6-7 months now and there's still those awkward silences during conversations. I think the world of him - we have everything in common, but his behavious is often awkward.. It makes me feel awkward.. And we really struggle to engage in any meaningful chat.
I even actually feel quite uncomfortable around him sometimes. It's such a wierd situation to be in - he just called me to say he was on his way home.. And it was the most strained 5 minutes of idle small talk I've ever had. Then he really abruptly said he had to go and hung up.
Can anyone help? Serious replies only please.. I'll systematically rep the helpful ones.
I've always thought I could draw an interesting-ish conversation out of anybody (and I do!), but I've been with my boyfriend for 6-7 months now and there's still those awkward silences during conversations. I think the world of him - we have everything in common, but his behavious is often awkward.. It makes me feel awkward.. And we really struggle to engage in any meaningful chat.
I even actually feel quite uncomfortable around him sometimes. It's such a wierd situation to be in - he just called me to say he was on his way home.. And it was the most strained 5 minutes of idle small talk I've ever had. Then he really abruptly said he had to go and hung up.
Can anyone help? Serious replies only please.. I'll systematically rep the helpful ones.
The idea that you have to fill every moment with talking is quite unnatural and only common in the English speaking world. I've lived ion Scandinavia for the past fives years and there is simply no concept of an awkward silence - if there is nothing pressing or interesting to say then don't say anything.
Reply 15
Maybe he just struggles to converse with anyone. A flaw perhaps, but then again aren't we all deeply flawed.
Reply 16
I think it would be best if you just split up then. How could you ever be in a relationship with someone when you're uncomfortable and feel awkward in each other’s company? I hate awkward silences so much. Stop thinking so much and just talk about something, anything if you want to make the relationship work. I find it hard to believe you guys have been together so long.
Reply 17
banter
mabie he's done sommert worng and he's been weird with you beacuse of that? cheated? not in love anymore?
horrid to think about but that may be why he's gone too quiert.
how did you ever find him so intresting you feel in love with him? coz he sound like a bore when he's with you.
horrid to think about but that may be why he's gone too quiert.
how did you ever find him so intresting you feel in love with him? coz he sound like a bore when he's with you.
Well, I actually told him how I felt recently, and went as far as to tell him I was breaking up with him. He got very upset, told me he didn't realise I was so unhappy and promised we'd spend more time together. On paper he's perfect for me, but the charming and funny guy I see when he's with his friends turns to a bag of nerves when we're alone. It unsettles me, so I start mirroring his awkward behaviour. I think each of us is too conscious of how we come across to the other, and after all this time, that's pretty bad.
Reply 18
I don't want to sound so negative but it sounds as though it may be best if you guys split up 
Relationships shouldn't have awkwardness, and you sure as hell shouldn't have to 'try' to make a conversation, it should just come naturally.
My old relationship was like this. We talked on the phone and it was all just forced. Speaking from experience, i'd say it doesn't sound like the relationship is going anywhere like this. But it's your decision
Relationships shouldn't have awkwardness, and you sure as hell shouldn't have to 'try' to make a conversation, it should just come naturally.
My old relationship was like this. We talked on the phone and it was all just forced. Speaking from experience, i'd say it doesn't sound like the relationship is going anywhere like this. But it's your decision
Reply 19
Seriously what's keeping you together?
The great sex??
The great sex??
Related discussions
- Struggling massively with chat up lines on girls
- Penis won't fit in
- Running out of things to say in a relationship
- Should I drop out and change universities?
- Is this love or lust?
- should i accept rent contributions from my partner
- How do you know if someone’s a cheater?
- Am I being a mug?
- How to break up with long term bf after his mum has died
- Am I just being used?
- Co worker asks me for dinner despite knowing I have a boyfriend. I already said no
- I’m so nervous about socialising at uni that I’m considering withdrawing my place.
- Relationship advise
- i think my friend's boyfriend said something about her mental health
- Haven’t seen things from me? What does my bf mean. Cried all night
- Approaching girls at the club
- Could anyone help me understand what happened with her?
- something my bf did
- Is there a chance for the relationship to work?
- Am I unattractive? What is it?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 2 months ago
Engineering vs. Medicine: Stuck Between Dreams and ExpectationsLast reply 2 months ago
heyyy , im new heree and im willing to have some friends xxxLast reply 2 months ago
Im 16 and never had a gf and it doesnt feel ok.
