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tessie
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#1
Report Thread starter 16 years ago
#1
hiya
im feeling blue... has anyone got any good jokes (but not overly dirty) theyd like to share? plz... it would be appreiciated
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meepmeep
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#2
Report 16 years ago
#2
(Original post by tessie)
hiya
im feeling blue... has anyone got any good jokes (but not overly dirty) theyd like to share? plz... it would be appreiciated
A man is lying on three seats in a cinema. The attendent goes up to the man and whispers, "Excuse me sir, you're sitting in three seats and you've only paid for one." The man ignores her. So she speaks up a little, "Excuse me sir, you're sitting in three seats. You've really got to sit up." The man then groans. Finally, the attendent, now losing her temper, informs the man, "If you don't sit up sir, I'm going to have to fetch the manager." The man doesn't move.

30 seconds later, the attendent brings the manager along. He says to the guy, "Excuse me sir, you're have to sit up or I'll be forced to throw you out." The man groans again.
"Alright sir, have it your way," says the manager. "What's your name?"
"Staurt," says the man.
"Where are you from?" asks the manager.
"The balcony," says the man.


And that, unfortunately, is my 300th post.
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tessie
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#3
Report Thread starter 16 years ago
#3
(Original post by meepmeep)
A man is lying on three seats in a cinema. The attendent goes up to the man and whispers, "Excuse me sir, you're sitting in three seats and you've only paid for one." The man ignores her. So she speaks up a little, "Excuse me sir, you're sitting in three seats. You've really got to sit up." The man then groans. Finally, the attendent, now losing her temper, informs the man, "If you don't sit up sir, I'm going to have to fetch the manager." The man doesn't move.

30 seconds later, the attendent brings the manager along. He says to the guy, "Excuse me sir, you're have to sit up or I'll be forced to throw you out." The man groans again.
"Alright sir, have it your way," says the manager. "What's your name?"
"Staurt," says the man.
"Where are you from?" asks the manager.
"The balcony," says the man.


And that, unfortunately, is my 300th post.
lol thank you u have made my nite a little brighter
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meepmeep
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#4
Report 16 years ago
#4
(Original post by tessie)
lol thank you u have made my nite a little brighter
And happy New Year as well.
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DevilsDoor
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#5
Report 16 years ago
#5
1. In the beginning was the Plan.
>
>2. And then came the Assumptions.
>
>3. And the Assumptions were without form.
>
>4. And the Plan was without Substance.
>
>5. And darkness was upon the face of the Workers.
>
>6. And the Workers spoke among themselves saying, "It is a crock of **** and it stinks."
>
>7. And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and said, "It is a crock of dung and we cannot live with the smell."
>
>8. And the Supervisors went unto their Managers saying, "It is a container of organic waste, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."
>
>9. And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying, "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
>
>10. And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying to one another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
>
>11. And the Directors went to the Vice Presidents, saying unto them, "It promotes growth, and it is very powerful."
>
>12. And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him, "It has very powerful effects."
>
>13. And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good.
>
>14. And the Plan became Policy.
>
>15. And that is how **** happens.
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nikk
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#6
Report 16 years ago
#6
(Original post by tessie)
lol thank you u have made my nite a little brighter
What date / time is it is Australia now?
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nabzp
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#7
Report 16 years ago
#7
(Original post by DevilsDoor)
1. In the beginning was the Plan.
>
>2. And then came the Assumptions.
>
>3. And the Assumptions were without form.
>
>4. And the Plan was without Substance.
>
>5. And darkness was upon the face of the Workers.
>
>6. And the Workers spoke among themselves saying, "It is a crock of **** and it stinks."
>
>7. And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and said, "It is a crock of dung and we cannot live with the smell."
>
>8. And the Supervisors went unto their Managers saying, "It is a container of organic waste, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."
>
>9. And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying, "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
>
>10. And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying to one another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
>
>11. And the Directors went to the Vice Presidents, saying unto them, "It promotes growth, and it is very powerful."
>
>12. And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him, "It has very powerful effects."
>
>13. And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good.
>
>14. And the Plan became Policy.
>
>15. And that is how **** happens.
#

lol!!!
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Sire
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#8
Report 16 years ago
#8
(Original post by NikNak)
What date / time is it is Australia now?
According to the Daylight Savings Time in NSW it is 01:20 hours. Which would have made it 23:30 hours Eastern Standard Time when you asked. Hope that helps. England is I think 9 hours behind Austraila in time
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