-=the Friend Zone=-

4

sounds like a catchy title for a thriller :biggrin:

personally, i haven't received the friend talk. yet :p:

but many mates go through this..

GIRLS who have given the friend talk:

when you like a guy soo much, but as a friend. what is he lacking that would be needed for him to be suitable as more than a friend??

my guess would be that the guy is 'too nice', and i don't mean you want a bad boy! (because ppl dont seem to grasp the bad boy idea,, and think girls are turned on by losers with no future, rude, and pointless beings!), No, i mean that you simply want someone with character, charm, and personality, not JUST a plain nice goody-goody and/or pushover; a shoulder to cry on is not enough by itself.

please give me your reasons :confused:

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

MrManager

sounds like a catchy title for a thriller :biggrin:

personally, i haven't received the friend talk. yet :p:

but many mates go through this..

GIRLS who have given the friend talk:

when you like a guy soo much, but as a friend. what is he lacking that would be needed for him to be suitable as more than a friend??

my guess would be that the guy is 'too nice', and i don't mean you want a bad boy! (because ppl dont seem to grasp the bad boy idea,, and think girls are turned on by losers with no future, rude, and pointless beings!), No, i mean that you simply want someone with character, charm, and personality, not JUST a plain nice goody-goody and/or pushover; a shoulder to cry on is not enough by itself.

please give me your reasons :confused:

or you're too ugly to be seen as their boyfriend, but you're fine as a friend...

Reply 2

stinky--pete

11

it tends to mean that we like the friendship we have and don't want to spoil it in any way shape or form!! we are not saying that the boy is not boyfriend material. also, he may not be our 'type' boyfriend wise but we love him as a mate. hope this helps and don't worry about it :smile:

Reply 3

Lexi99

11

MrManager

sounds like a catchy title for a thriller :biggrin:

personally, i haven't received the friend talk. yet :p:

but many mates go through this..

GIRLS who have given the friend talk:

when you like a guy soo much, but as a friend. what is he lacking that would be needed for him to be suitable as more than a friend??

my guess would be that the guy is 'too nice', and i don't mean you want a bad boy! (because ppl dont seem to grasp the bad boy idea,, and think girls are turned on by losers with no future, rude, and pointless beings!), No, i mean that you simply want someone with character, charm, and personality, not JUST a plain nice goody-goody and/or pushover; a shoulder to cry on is not enough by itself.

please give me your reasons :confused:

Oh my god this is so true.
I have a friend who has a huuuuge crush on me, and apart from being slightly creepy, I just dont find him attractive because he's too nice.

Whenever he's around me he tries to act as gentlemanly as possible whereas all my other guy mates will make sure I know theyre the biggest ******* possible. e.g. they call me boobs, he calls me misses.

He;s just too nice, if i was out with him as a couple as some drunk started trying to grope me I couldnt ever imagine him telling the guy to **** off or hitting him or something, and that kind of masculine protectiveness is something i want in a boyfriend not some pussy who only ever concerned with impressing me with his niceness.

Reply 4

MrManager

OP

4

stinky--pete

it tends to mean that we like the friendship we have and don't want to spoil it in any way shape or form!! we are not saying that the boy is not boyfriend material. also, he may not be our 'type' boyfriend wise but we love him as a mate. hope this helps and don't worry about it :smile:

lol, i already said im not usually the friend.. lol..i respect ur opinion about 'types'. but when some guys all seem to become teh friend, whilst others all seem to be the players.. i start to think it's not really about the girl.. its more to do with the guy and how he is behaing and acting with the girl to make her not get infatuated with him over time..

im thinking maybe if the guy was acting in a different way (still being himself, but more himself, and showing the more fun/playful side of his character rather than the motherly one :p:

).. a friendgirl may start liking him

Reply 5

MrManager

OP

4

Lexi99

Oh my god this is so true.
I have a friend who has a huuuuge crush on me, and apart from being slightly creepy, I just dont find him attractive because he's too nice.

Whenever he's around me he tries to act as gentlemanly as possible whereas all my other guy mates will make sure I know theyre the biggest ******* possible. e.g. they call me boobs, he calls me misses.

He;s just too nice, if i was out with him as a couple as some drunk started trying to grope me I couldnt ever imagine him telling the guy to **** off or hitting him or something, and that kind of masculine protectiveness is something i want in a boyfriend not some pussy who only ever concerned with impressing me with his niceness.

good contribution :yes:

Reply 6

stinky--pete

11

MrManager

lol, i already said im not usually the friend.. lol..i respect ur opinion about 'types'. but when some guys all seem to become teh friend, whilst others all seem to be the players.. i start to think it's not really about the girl.. its more to do with the guy and how he is behaing and acting with the girl to make her not get infatuated with him over time..

im thinking maybe if the guy was acting in a different way (still being himself, but more himself, and showing the more fun/playful side of his character rather than the motherly one :p:

).. a friendgirl may start liking him

i don't really know, but personally i'm not for the players :smile:

i think some of my mates are good looking and i obviously get on with them really well and they've got good personalities but they're friends and i don't think i'd cross that boundary. my bf is my best friend but i hardly new him before we started going out and some of my mates are his so i could never go out with them, ever. it's all very complicated which is why i'm glad i'm sorted, for now at least :smile:

Reply 7

Ria76

i am having the exact same problem...but im a girl and the guy i fancy doesn't want to go ahead with things because he only sees me as a mate! So annoying!!!!!!!! :angry:

Reply 8

Jelkin

17

I think you've got it right actually. Girls want someone sparky. There's also whether they're attracted to them or not!

I don't believe in the friend zone, though - plenty of couples started off as friends.

Reply 9

HARRY PUTAH

14

Lexi99

Oh my god this is so true.
I have a friend who has a huuuuge crush on me, and apart from being slightly creepy, I just dont find him attractive because he's too nice.

Whenever he's around me he tries to act as gentlemanly as possible whereas all my other guy mates will make sure I know theyre the biggest ******* possible. e.g. they call me boobs, he calls me misses.

He;s just too nice, if i was out with him as a couple as some drunk started trying to grope me I couldnt ever imagine him telling the guy to **** off or hitting him or something, and that kind of masculine protectiveness is something i want in a boyfriend not some pussy who only ever concerned with impressing me with his niceness.

So you want gentleman mixed with a guy who will tell others to piss off.

They exist but they will also tell you "its over" because you got boring and they weren't really nice after all.

Be careful what you wish for, you might just get knocked up by a guy you were really into but only for him to turn to his other ego and dump your ass.

Its funny because its true and the Uk is littered with such women like yourself.

Funny how you can see things differently.

Reply 10

Lexi99

11

haha you're telling me!!

I know, its difficult to find the guy who is caring and loving but also able to stand up for himself and not let people walk all over him but this is what I want out of a guy. So sue me.

Reply 11

computersaysnooooo

13

One of my best friends has the best personality but the thought of being with him makes me get empty retching cos I really really really don't find him attractive, and it's not all about looks with me cos I have fancied people whoweren't great looking in the past but got over it cos of their personality but there's just something about this guy that I'd never be comfortable with him in that way :dontknow:

Reply 12

MrManager

OP

4

no, i think harry putah he just means to make it like the HARDtalk program on tv with the 2 oppositions.. you have obviously been the girl, and he seems to have experienced this.

it all makes sense though harry putah.. all these requirements of girls can just be derived from the stone age! how does someone add value to a girl..being nice isn't enough.. just like in business, think maslow's pyramid of needs.. nice gives the most basic need of security,, but at the end the girl not only wants a guy to be her psychiatrist, make her feel good.. etc.. entertain her.. but to also make her gain an interest in you, the way you act, think, etc, make her see a guy as unique,, someone with his own style and flavor.

and as the OP, please be civilized on my thread (harry putah).. using the word littered insinuates that she is litter. and she's not,, and she doesn't deserve that.

Reply 13

MrManager

OP

4

computersaysnooooo

One of my best friends has the best personality but the thought of being with him makes me get empty retching cos I really really really don't find him attractive, and it's not all about looks with me cos I have fancied people whoweren't great looking in the past but got over it cos of their personality but there's just something about this guy that I'd never be comfortable with him in that way :dontknow:

the question is what should he have done differently.. or what would you change in him to make you comfortable with him? there are many things, can you identify some?

Reply 14

computersaysnooooo

13

MrManager

the question is what should he have done differently.. or what would you change in him to make you comfortable with him? there are many things, can you identify some?

He's very needy, like constantly texting and wanting to meet up whereas I like my own space so we'd clash that way, don't think he can change, you shouldn't have to change drastically for a realtionship

Reply 15

Dude Where's My Username

15

The Face is what decides whether a guy is placed in the Friend Zone Dungeon or not. It's that simple. Nothing to do with personality, although being a pussy or a wet wipe won't help your cause

Reply 16

username133496

9

I much prefer the Twilight zone, ‘the friend zone’ is rather underwhelming due to its sheer lack of killer Nazi androids and time travelling mutant bees.
Personally, I recoil at the mere mention of the term ‘friend zone,’ it implies:

1) That platonic friendships between men and women are undesirable or ‘last resort.’
2) That all women are to men are potential girlfriends, wives or ‘sex buddies.’

Plus, many romantic relationships evolve from friendships. So being ‘friend zoned’ doesn’t necessarily mean that nothing will happen later down the line.

Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t meet a guy and think ‘I want him to be my boyfriend/sexy playmate’ straight away.

Reply 17

quintsy

17

I think it's somewhat telling that girls never refer to the supposed "friend zone". Without wishing to sound excessively harsh, I think the whole concept is just borne in over-analysis; for me there is no point where a single action means that a guy will never be anything more than a friend. Frankly, if we get on, but there's nothing more (for various reasons which will vary from girl to girl) you're a friend. Being too nice or whatnot has nothing to do with it- for some girls that might actually encourage a relationship rather than putting them off.

In short: you really cannot strategise it so a girl sees you as more than a friend- it completely depends on her preferences/taste.

Reply 18

MrManager

OP

4

suuuuuuseh

I think it's somewhat telling that girls never refer to the supposed "friend zone". Without wishing to sound excessively harsh, I think the whole concept is just borne in over-analysis; for me there is no point where a single action means that a guy will never be anything more than a friend. Frankly, if we get on, but there's nothing more (for various reasons which will vary from girl to girl) you're a friend. Being too nice or whatnot has nothing to do with it- for some girls that might actually encourage a relationship rather than putting them off.

In short: you really cannot strategise it so a girl sees you as more than a friend- it completely depends on her preferences/taste.

hmm,, if you go to the thread titles "what turns girl on" you'll find that girls all like the same things. if you watch how society react to celebrities or to tv characters, you will see quite noticeable trends!! if you look at friend-zoned people,, you will find very strong similarities in their look (cute, ugly, fat, young), their personalities (too nice, too dull, too young, too needy, etc.). and if you checkout guys, they are usually never friend-zoned, or mostly friend-zoned. all this points to something.. specific preferences can sometimes be soo small and negligible,, it's usually the feelings the girl gets from them that count.. feelings are much less complex, and love and settling are two different things.. settling is just the same as being friend-zoned.. so if a troubled goth couples up with a goth just because she's going through that stage in her life.. it's all just a mask (these preferences). i believe that a prince charming with wit, looks, culture, great way of thinking and outlook on the world, and extremely fun and can swipe a girl off her feet, lol.. comes, he can get any girl.

on the other hand,, a pushover who offers nothing more than mothering a girl, will be there in her hard times,, and once she doesn't need him anymore,, she'll be gone.. and that's the best case scenario

Reply 19

HARRY PUTAH

14

Lexi99

haha you're telling me!!

I know, its difficult to find the guy who is caring and loving but also able to stand up for himself and not let people walk all over him but this is what I want out of a guy. So sue me.

Oh believe me, I'm all for guys doing that, Im one of them but the more doormats there are the less competition there is for me.

:biggrin:

-=the Friend Zone=-

Related discussions

Articles for you